Q4 Older RP men: Which past experiences did you only understand after finding the manosphere?

concacanca · 2018-05-19T14:52:29+00:00

I'm early 30s but I want to offer this:

It explained my parents' divorce much more satisfactorily than I'd previously been able to come up with.

See, previously I'd always thought that my mother was just a psycho bitch and, really, that's pretty much true. But seeing her in her subsequent marriage puts things into perspective.

My father is great with women but completely betad out after my brothers and I were born. He failed shit tests left and right. He DEERed all the good damn time. He failed to lead the household (which lead to him being alienated from his family, and all of us from both sets of grandparents), failed to capitalise when he did do things right, eventually let himself get bullied out of the exercise he loved and not supported in everything he did to increase status (he became a high level politician).

Now, I'm not that convinced that there was too much he would have been able to do to salvage the marriage - my mother was just unable to be happy in that family dynamic. He could have made life more bearable for himself and the rest of us though until he was ready to leave instead of being driven to breaking point and leaving my youngest brother to deal with a terribly toxic situation.

2018-05-19T15:55:44+00:00

Most of them. I actually did pretty well with women when i was younger (well, still really), but it never made sense. I thought that if i was a jerk to my ex she would just break up with me so i wouldn't have to dump her. Boy was I wrong, crazy bitch just tried harder to make me happy.

I still don't completely understand how I ever got laid. I never really tried. Never complimented women or gfs. Never bought gifts. Always very aloof. Yet it worked

MC-noob · 2018-05-19T13:51:04+00:00

I'm male, in my late 40's, not a huge fan of TRP and such but I've learned a lot from it.

The one thing I definitely would have done differently would be to stop taking women at their word when they told me how they're thinking and feeling. There were plenty of times in many relationships where I felt like we had good communication and were working things out by talking, only to find out later that nothing was "settled" because I wasn't aware that our brains are wired differently, and that I should have been listening better and asking more questions rather than just accepting that what I was being told was the truth. I was naive enough to think there weren't multiple layers to things, and conversely that things I was saying might be (mis)interpreted and read into. Understanding those differences at an earlier age would have been a huge help.

Million-Suns · 2018-05-19T14:09:03+00:00

Which of your past or even current experiences make sense ?

Honestly, all of them.

What would you have done differently if you found the manosphere at a younger age?

I would not have treated women so nice and I wold not have wasted so much time and energy either.

2018-05-19T18:11:39+00:00

I'm a 53 year old guy. My ex-wife kicked me to the curb two years ago. TRP has been invaluable in putting my life back together. I was dumbfounded by my ex-wife's behavior. TRP explained her behavior and also how my behavior exacerbated the expression of her latent hypergamy.

TRP also got me to understand that no one cares about my troubles. If I want to be happy I have to make it happen all by myself. Which I'm doing (i.e. getting back into shape and making more money).

perplexedm · 2018-05-19T13:58:34+00:00

--why being nice and being myself never worked.

--why offering relationships never worked

--the entirety of my relationship/sexual experiences

TRP works. Blue doesn't. Period. End of discussion.

abaxeron · 2018-05-19T17:34:45+00:00

Which of your past experiences with women made sense after finding the manosphere?

My parents' divorce, my divorce right after I helped her to get into foreign university, my mom's friend stabbing her husband and living for several years in said husband's house with another man while her husband was still alive and living in the next room.... ummmm..... that girl I knew who put her husband into prison after having a kid with him..... That one girl who had some hots for me and then gave her virginity to my buddy that I introduced to her (sincerely thanks for that though) and then married my another buddy that I introduced to her (and then dumped him).... That almost-30 lady who tried to have sex with me when I was 15.... Those several girls who ended up "just wanting to be friends" after around 5th cinema and dinner.

What would you have done differently if you found the manosphere at a younger age?

I'd build my entire span between 14-25 years of age differently - I'd be more ambitious and utilitarian in choosing college, first of all; I'd concentrate on studying MUCH more, and currently would be able to drown myself in cash.

2018-05-19T15:45:47+00:00

Although he is deceased, Patrice O'Neal taught me more about women than anyone else, including women.

Which of your past experiences with women made sense after finding the manosphere?

From listening to Patrice O'Neal, I learned why women have no concept of responsibility and accountability.

he helped me understand the feminist world view. So, for example, he helped me understand that a woman who might steal something from another person, or make promises that she can not keep or has no intention of keeping, the woman in question will always blame someone else -- its a lot like a girl in her father's house who knocks a vase onto the floor shattering it, and she will blame someone else. Women see themselves as having no accountability, no remorse and no responsibility.

Which of your friends/families past or even current experiences made/make sense ?

Patrice taught me about myself and other men. He taught me to never think of myself as weird and he contextualized brotherhood for me so I was able to tell a friend that I loved him like a brother, and we both discussed suicide and our reasons for perhaps wanting to carry it out. He and I talked about how lonely we both felt and that we suspected maybe we were closeted homosexuals because no woman ever showed any love for us, but we're not homosexuals, we're just alone in this world and it was OK. Patrice made sense of that for me because he explained that women can never be friends with a man, and that women can never really love a man.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-05-19T14:32:58+00:00

Speaking womanese is extremely helpful. Now I can't say I know what a woman is thinking, but the communication is like seeing a movie preview; one gets a sense how it will play out with certain conversations.

Salty-Bastard · 2018-05-19T15:02:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

blackedoutfast · 2018-05-19T17:08:16+00:00

there's no reason to not try to push for sex. if a woman likes you and you don't try to fuck her, she will take it as a rejection and it will hurt her feelings.

like if you go out with a chick and for whatever reason think "wow this chick is cool and we're having a good time together, i don't want to be too pushy and ruin everything" and then don't try to at least make a move to fuck her at the end of the night. she's not going to appreciate it, and it's far more likely that she will think something like "it seemed like we were having a good time but there's no chemistry/ he must be gay/ there's something wrong with him/etc." and there's a very good chance she won't want to go out with you again. men are constantly pushing women for sex, so when a man isn't agressive and pushy, it seems like a strong IOD to her.

also never ever directly admit to any flaws or weaknesses. no matter how empathetic/sympathetic a woman seems, and even if she is basically begging you to tell her, never ever tell her if you're depressed or scared or something like that. she will instantly lose respect/attraction to you, and it's never coming back.

pangeacel · 2018-05-19T19:42:52+00:00

A couple of things really...

One thing was focusing on how "different" women are from men. Even now I scoff at responses that simplify things down to "women are just people too" - yes maybe so, but I honestly have more in common with my male cats than most females. They are basically alien in their thought processes, desires, ways of communicating, body structure, etc. Most guys understand me and I understand them; I still don't "get" most women.

Other things about women being frail, wanting a strong partner, the method of how alpha males act, maintaining personal appearance, finances etc also helped, but not as much - you can get similar advice from business texts, self-help books, etc. It's definitely easier to see it all packaged in one place, rather than coming from different non-related sources.

If I had found the manosphere at a younger age, I don't think I would've turned out any different though. Some people are not destined for success in this life.

2018-05-20T03:15:31+00:00

45 year old male here. After discovering the manosphere and educating myself and reading some of the other posts in this thread I would just add this. The single most important thing I had confirmed for me (because I had sort of hit upon this myself but wasn't able to corroborate it as well back then as we can now.) is, if you're trying to understand a woman, *never* listen to what she says, but *always* observe what she does. Many women will say they want "X,Y,Z" but what they *actually respond to* is "A,B,C". How this manifests in the female psyche I can't say and wouldn't venture to guess, but for a lot of them, the men they pick aren't the men they say they want.

creating_my_life · 2018-05-20T05:54:19+00:00

it's not exactly "which life experiences". I know you're looking for a list to choose from and compare to your experiences.

But for me, I experienced ALL THE INDIVIDUAL COMPONENTS, but was never able to/smart enough to put them together and learn from them.

Red Pill was the FRAMEWORK that ALIGNED all my prior experiences. Now everything I went through MADE SENSE. EVERYTHING FIT.

Let's see if I can think through a few examples:

I've had several good women friends. I wanted to fuck them, they never fucked me. The more I befriended them, the further I got. Makes sense now.
I've been in really good shape in my life, and really out of shape. Yep, makes sense now.
Move early, move fast. If you don't try to fuck a woman, she's insulted.
Watch what she does, not what she says.
Women use men/betas for utility.
You can't create tingles that aren't there.

What would I do different at a younger age? Completely 100% unreservedly entirely invest ONLY IN MYSELF every fucking minute of every day. Realize that every time you give up even the slightest amount of your personal goals for a woman, she likes you a little less. Recognize that there will ALWAYS be some fantastic pussy shortly in your future. Women have no commitment when there's no benefit to them. Marriage is an entire sham. The world will take from you as much as you let it. It's your job to put yourself first, nobody else will. Ever.

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PPD-Angel · 2018-05-19T14:19:55+00:00

The only demographics questions are allowed to be asked for is: Red Pill, Blue Pill, women and men. Anyone Red Pill can answer this top level.

Title	Q4 Older RP men: Which past experiences did you only understand after finding the manosphere?
Author	Pretty_Please_C_My_V
Upvotes	10
Comments	49
Date	May 19, 2018 1:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8kl521/q4_older_rp_men_which_past_experiences_did_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4-older-rp-men-which-past-experiences-did-you.262363 https://theredarchive.com/post/262363

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