Men's size of social circle and SMV

TomeofBlood · 2018-02-19T08:52:09+00:00

Ok. About time I shared my knowledge on this topic.

Making friends takes frequent exposure, interaction and camaraderie.

The ingredients needed for making friends is:

1) Conversationalist a) connection-building. Getting people to tell their story. b) Interest in other people's strengths and accomplishments. c) Advice and Inspiration

2) Implied Value a) Coming across as accomplished, in-demand. b) General social market value (See here: https://crisisofthemodernworld.wordpress.com/2018/02/04/understanding-social-market-value/) c) Alpha (See here: https://crisisofthemodernworld.wordpress.com/2018/02/10/alpha-is-supreme-beta-is-mediocre/)

3) Offered Value a) What is actually offered to them. b) Some examples:

Inviting someone to a party you're attending (or throwing)inviting someone to grab drinks with you with some friends

Offering to introduce someone to someone else you think they'd like

Offering to make a business connection or introduction to someone

Offering to take a look at something free of charge in your area of expertise (e.g., "Send me your resume, I'll have a look at it and give you some feedback")

Inviting someone to join you on a trip you're making ("I'm going to Greece this summer; you should totally come too, it's going to be a blast")

Create more situations where your value is relied upon.

Either figure out a way to make a great first impression or go to multiple events and hobby-joints where you can have the above three.

That means grooming, working on mental presence and physical presence. Mental presence is covered in the article on alpha-beta.

Hopeless phase a) Go out and watch, learn how other people socialize, watch what gets what effects and try to create general rules look for the most alpha (effective) techniques. b) Focus on integrating into many social groups -- an aim to become "one of them". c) Get a diversity of social outlets d) Say yes to everything -- within reason e) collect experience

Gaining steam phase a) Start organizing and inviting b) Start being more selective c) start differentiating yourself again after collecting experience

[deleted] · 2018-02-19T05:29:31+00:00

It depends if you are still in school. College is a time to have a massive number of friends. After that, well...you have to go find people who are not too busy.

Eastuss · 2018-02-19T06:14:05+00:00

how many friends you have is equated with a score, being at a house party in the past month is a +1

paying any mind to an internet algorithm scoring your ability to be social is a -1000

don't be a loner, do fun things and you will know fun people.

soupladlelad · 2018-02-19T12:27:45+00:00

Social circle =bigger is better.

But that article is all that guys own bias. I don't think women want a man who's had run ins with the cops. They want a man who could be violent not who is violent. His view of is is also pretty foolish for several reasons. Notably that it runs counter to the points for career (for example MDs have an average IQ of 130 so the algorithm suggests that their career balances their intelligence).

S1imdragxn · 2018-02-19T18:15:48+00:00

I prefer to be an introvert but people always hitting me up and wanna be around me, I don’t even fucking try people just project shit on to me because I’m an artist

I much prefer a secret cabal of 4 close dudes than all this “acquaintance” booshit

My parties are dope when I do throw em though

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stats135 · 2018-02-19T05:49:59+00:00

I think it really is a matter of quality over quantity. Having 10 hot women show up at an event is better than having 100 people show up and having it be a sausage-fest.

There is also the issue of variety. There are many people content with the social circle they created back in school. They end up hanging around in the same place, doing the same thing, with the same people as they did a decade ago. Some might be lucky and lock a good girl down. But if things go south, they soon come to the realization that they haven't made a new friend in years and don't even know where to start now that they are adults and can't rely on school.

Scatre · 2018-02-19T12:03:28+00:00

There's a diminishing return on the number of friends you have. Quality > Quantity. However, I also find if you spend TOO much time with a friend, you grow to resent eachother (housemates for example). Gotta cycle them. Small party with well known friends is 100x better than wandering around a huge partying having pointless chats with people you barely know.

Does this mean having events to go to fri, sat sun and sometimes during the week?

Is this an indicator of being "social"? I suppose I'm somewhat introverted then. I don't enjoy spending every waking second of my free time with other people.

Stick to vain social media platforms if you think friend "count" has any correlation to how well you enjoy your life.

[deleted] · 2018-02-19T13:56:37+00:00

It means having many different circles, not one ring of people whose connection is molded and isolating. So you have groups of friends that might not necessarily ever meet or wouldnt necessarily get along or have things in common. So there's the political'y people that you drink coffee and wine with and wear shirts with collars and they have influence in careers and communities. That could also be a commercial circle if you make money from the actual economy (in most of american neighborhoods, nah, people with money and influence are somehow suckling the public titty)

Then there's the drinker crews that you do man drink things with like throw darts and knives and watch sports or whatever your man recreational culture idea is. Karate is a good one because you get that, while meeting guys from all kinds of other circles.

Then you need friends in low places like, your vampire friends that are reliably available and partying at odd times. Likely also good sources of any recreational drug, barring access to college kid circles.

Branch like, virally and radially. Then if you need to approach this or that girl with this or that educational level and this or that fashion gimmick and this or that housing and transportation and devices, you are equipped to play up one circle as your general social alignment/niche, while introducing a flirt with other more dangerous elements. Among the working poor you flip it to introduce the idea of opportunity.

blackedoutfast · 2018-02-19T22:36:17+00:00

read up on Dunbar's number. the human brain can only maintain about 150 stable social relationships. as a person's social value and status increases, their social groups don't keep expanding in size indefinitely. they may meet a lot of people, but they won't be regularly socialzing with all of them. the focus shifts more toward upgrading the quality of the people in the social group. and more high-value, popular people you have in your social group means more invites to social events. and the type of event matters more than the quantity.

Title	Men's size of social circle and SMV
Author	zenplus
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	February 19, 2018 4:32 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7yk58t/mens_size_of_social_circle_and_smv/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/mens-size-of-social-circle-and-smv.263541 https://theredarchive.com/post/263541

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