hi RPW!!!! my first post here!! :3 some context: i am a conservative girl who was raised by feminists to be a feminist (yes, my mom was the one who led workshops about vagina empowerment). i'm a low income, bisexual, mixed race, mentally ill trauma victim, all the right ingredients to be a self-pitying angry liberal, yadda yadda yadda. by all means, i am going against the grain through expressing politically moderate beliefs or traditional values. i just wanted to talk about my personal experience since i've been stuck in a lot of mental loops and want to seek advice or maybe some other perspectives on how to approach these issues.

i have been thinking about this a lot. i am constantly surrounded by hyper-radical, aggressively feminist women - teachers, close family, peers, etc. it seriously concerns me how many girls my age have been indoctrinated into the modern feminist mindset - hating men, being rude/harsh to people with differing perspectives, dressing immodestly 24/7, tinder culture - it quite literally makes me sad. i feel really depressed and alone in my beliefs and i feel that i don't necessarily have the platform to express them.

my experience with feminism has been entirely negative. i am a csa/cocsa/trauma/rape victim who has not been helped by feminists in any way, though they insist on being hellbent to "save them from the patriarchy". many attempts to help have been centered around making me think badly of men or think down on them, saying it's an institutional issue, or just outright blaming men for being barbaric unemotional pedophiles. whatever.

from an inside perspective, most women who identify as feminists have almost zero experience living the lives they say they're saving - neglect, abuse, low income, and drug related problems are unsurprisingly among the scarcer of most feminists' problems, which i find that people like me (egalitarians, conservatives, non-left-wingers/sjws) tend to have more experience with, despite the fact that a lot of feminists (liberal and radical) will talk your ear off about how oppressed they are.

it just makes me upset that people who are generally "privileged" or well off have more of a say in how victims (especially female ones) are treated or what they go through just because of superficial commonalities (gender/race/etc). in dealing with my past trauma and mental health, i have encountered and been treated by a disproportionate amount of liberals and feminists who generally have the same logic or advice for me - that men, white people, straight people, rich people, and conservative people are out to get me, should be avoided, and "one day we'll totally punish them and socially outcast them for existing! you go girl!" - which has not helped me at all.

feminist ideas about rape, trauma, abuse, and more extend so much farther than it simply being "because i'm a girl and men oppress me". what is hurtful about this is that everyone is pigeonholed into a victim or oppressor role, which is so much bigger than the complex dynamics of relationships and how people interact, and doesn't address actual bad people in the world, but instead turns victims into items of pity and example, which is the worst.

all in all, it fucking sucks getting told that it just happens because of "all men" or that everything bad in the world is due to the patriarchy and that me being submissive (a seriously important coping tactic + my natural disposition) or being feminine or being conservative will get me hurt more because i'm apparently a victim of misogyny and that it's my job to become a super strong oppression combating feminist superhero.

i just don't see the "progression" in believing that every man i come across is evil, hurtful, and uses his power to benefit himself and hurt or oppress me, but i feel seriously embarrassed for other girls my age, who nearly all of them express the same vague beliefs about politics - men are oppressive, unrightfully domineering, opportunistic assholes, nothing is politically correct enough, white people are all out to get me, etc. i hate that this reflects on me/other open-minded people my age and that i get lumped in with people like that.

this sub and others are helping me find peace with my feelings about the popular political sphere and the ideas others have about people like me/how i should act or be. rpw and differing perspectives have helped me so much more than feminism has. seeing women helping other women, knowing my place in relationships, being able to depend on my boyfriend, not being afraid to be girly or feminine, and other things that rpw has shown me are okay are miles more progressive than modern feminism and the doctrine it pushes. sorry for the long post but that's my 2 cents! :D