Q4BP: Why is improving your relationship using red pill ideas being a misogynistic asshole?

sublimemongrel · 2017-02-22T02:22:14+00:00

Because he up and suddenly changed his behavior in a way that his making his GF unhappy. That's what this post is really about. Not automatically equating "red pill ideas" with being a "misogynistic asshole." The "red pill aware comment" is hamstering that their relationship has gotten "better" but that's not what the OP is saying, in fact she or he is saying the opposite. It's not the self-improvement that has this person believing this LTR is going badly -- it's his/her friend's report that he's withholding, crossing her boundaries, flaking, and actively dread-gaming her.

Of course none of us really know what is going on between these two people, it's all second hand-second hand information and we don't have his side of the story. It's a FR, essentially.

wuboo · 2017-02-22T02:57:28+00:00

Kinda hard to know based on a third party perspective but I'll take a stab at it.

There's nothing wrong with working out. On the other hand, a gym is not exclusively a 'guy zone'. I get not becoming workout buddies with a significant other but turning down every request spend some time together at the gym is a little odd.

It's ok to have to cancel plans every once in awhile if something comes up unexpectedly. This does not sound like the case. The guy is an adult. He should act like one and keep his commitments. He should get better at his time management so he can fit in both his self improvement activities and the plans that he makes with others.

So far, these examples aren't too bad and it may just be he trying to adapt to his new self improvement routine. The next few examples the poster lists are rather worrisome.

He's telling her not to "test him" when she asks him to stop blatantly looking at other women. Being attracted to other people is ok. His response though is a red flag.

Being pushy about sex when his gf is clearly recovering from an injury is also a major red fleg. Both these examples suggest he doesn't care about how his partner feels or about her general wellbeing.

goatismycopilot · 2017-02-22T02:49:05+00:00

This example is not a good one because it is not written from the perspective of either person in the actual couple. So it is hard to really tell what is happening in the relationship. If I had to guess I would say they will eventually break up because he is gawking at other women, canceling plans and it will get old and they will drift apart and the problem will solve itself.

nemma88 · 2017-02-22T07:45:15+00:00

the funny thing is she's been gymming for far longer than him but he's turned down her offers to hang out together.

cold cut offs. he's started telling her he needs to work on himself now that he's 25

so random dropped friday evening plans and things like that. she's getting quite annoyed but is an incredibly patient person.

he has some excuse about how she ought to be secure in his love and affection and not to "test him"

Those manipulate parts are why BP has a problem,and their area of focus.

Edit; In case this is not clear enough - this is low to middling dread with some good'ol gaslighting thrown in, and BP picked up on it, though they call it 'being a asshole'. I'm somewhat weary of this post because, while you say you don't understand, I think you do and your leading someone into a particular point.

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COPCO2 · 2017-02-22T17:01:13+00:00

Lots of RP advice is standard, non-controversial stuff on it's own. There are better places to find it, like r/fitness, r/malefashionadvice, etc., but overall it's fine.

It's the attitude behind TRP that makes it wrong. You don't need to dominate your SO, or find ways to control her to achieve happiness. At the very least, that's a shitload of work for something you could achieve by just being honest.

I've told my wife before that I haven't been to the gym in a while, feel like crap, and don't feel 'sexy' enough to have sex. She said, 'yeah, me too. Let's go lift tonight." One night of working out together and boom, super libido for both of us. We tell each other when we want to improve ourselves and why, and then we have a partner through it. I don't need to make her feel inferior by building muscles, hoping that dread game will keep her with me. That's just strange behavior.

methylotroph · 2017-03-10T14:17:57+00:00

Focus on improving ones self, relationships are often simply a means of trying to fill a deficiency in ones self.

Title	Q4BP: Why is improving your relationship using red pill ideas being a misogynistic asshole?
Author	AmericanHistoryAFBB
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	February 22, 2017 2:12 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5vfxyi/q4bp_why_is_improving_your_relationship_using_red/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4bp-why-is-improving-your-relationship-using-red.269933 https://theredarchive.com/post/269933

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