Just broke up with a LVM - support needed 🥺

RainbowChardonnay · 2020-09-27T04:26:57+00:00

You did the right thing. Take some melatonin and go to bed. Tomorrow’s a new day and you’re full of potential.

whiterabbit818 · 2020-09-27T04:29:43+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! We know what you’re going through and how HARD it was but BE PROUD OF YOURSELF!!! It was hard but you did it anyway because YOU DESERVE MORE!!!! I broke up with my exLVM fiancé of 9.5 years in March. Just had to talk to him this morning (long story) and all day I have been reminding myself that just because it was nice to hear his voice does NOT mean it was the wrong decision. It was ABSOLUTELY THE RIGHT DECISION - as was yours!!!! They don’t deserve us THEY DO NOT!!! My ex sounded happy enough on the phone too but I have known him long enough that he A) is great at hiding his problems from everybody Including himself and B) He AINT SHIT without me.

Another helpful tool I have seen ladies in this sub do is make an anti-vision type board that consists of 6-8 images of all the horrible habits and things they hate about their ex LVMs to remember WHY they broke up with him. I definitely need to do my own .... maybe you and I should both do one in the next few days?! And that way when we have moments of feeling low, we can look at what we are NOT missing. What do you say?!

Take care honey, we’re all here for you!!! 💪💪💪

Twolipz_78 · 2020-09-27T04:40:33+00:00

[deleted]

Realistmuch · 2020-09-27T04:47:49+00:00

The fact that you know you did the right thing means you’ve broken out of the LVM misery already. It’s almost natural that the LVM would behave like it doesn’t matter you broke up with him ‘coz of the delusional ego that he harbours. Don’t assess your self worth or be sad about how he doesn’t care about you from this. Remember the reasons you walked away, you stood up for yourself and that’s what matters the most! It’s natural to be let down after such a relationship specially when you know you were invested and meant well, but honestly, you’ll get through with it. It’ll be painful now and again to remember this, but remember that these painful steps are your way to a happier and more fulfilling life, without the unnecessary drama or negativity of this LVM. I’ve found the FDS handbook to be really helpful to remind myself of the real manipulative mindset that LVMs have and how we deserve better! Take care of yourself, read the handbook, keep strong, remind yourself why you walked away and cherish the fact that you’re a strong and special person who deserves more in life, too bad this clown can’t see it! All the best, you’ve got it! 😀🙌🏻

Accountabili_Buddy · 2020-09-27T04:53:18+00:00

Quite frankly u/whiterabbit818 has said all of the things I wanted to say.

A final note I was going to share is that when you feel the urge to text or call him. REACH OUT TO A GIRLFRIEND INSTEAD. Or even post here. Comment. Use us in the place of him. We will be better support either way.

2020-09-27T08:08:13+00:00

Think of this guy as meth. At this point it may feel like you can’t live without him. But also think of the damage he does to you and your self worth. Think of all the before and after pics of meth users who end up as shells of their former selves. The gaunt skin, the loose teeth and hair loss. Withdrawal from a meth addiction is extremely painful. But it’ll end up saving your life (metaphorically) in the long run.

bluebird_wings · 2020-09-27T13:01:28+00:00

Make a red flag list.

Put everything on it that he did that made you feel hurt or let down.

Make a self care/ self love list.

Put some nice things on it that you can do for yourself on the daily and in the weeks and months to come. (Candle lit bubble bath, manicure, new necklace or potted plant, walk in the park, reading a book in the sunshine, etc... whatever types of self nurturing that make you feel content/calm/happy/peaceful/appreciated/valued) Start doing those things.

Make a goals list.

Write down goals for one week, one month, 1 year, and 5 years. Start working towards those.

You got this. Shoulders back, head up.

oh_beach_please · 2020-09-27T11:12:52+00:00

It's entirely normal to feel upset and hurt and confused right now - you have invested time, feelings and energy and been disappointed. I know you understand this was a lucky escape, and it's not even that you are mourning the guy himself or your relationship - it was the idea of what you wanted it to be. The only advice I can give is this, remember your previous relationships/flings with fellas and you were devastated or so invested - now think back on how little you care, it's almost like a dream? Time will take care of this, it's a normal process. Try and spend some time and energy on things you enjoy, this really will pass.
He is trying to act like the cool guy who doesn't care either because, he does hurt and refuses to admit it, or, he never really cared. Either way, it doesn't matter because you know deep down he is bad news.

Get your nails done, have a nice bath, watch something really funny on tv, have a gab with your mates on the phone. I promise it will pass (from a sis who is going through the same situation!)

super_thinker_ · 2020-09-27T15:52:09+00:00

These days, I don't like to visit any subs outside of this one, but I recommend checking out r/exnocontact. It will give you daily reminders to stay strong and never look back. You are so strong and amazing!

2020-09-27T13:02:15+00:00

You did the right thing, sis.

Whenever you need to vent about it, feel free to here. FDS is a safe-haven for all women. All of us have been through atrocities by LVM men, just as well... therefore we understand to a certain extent.

You already know your worth, by the sounds of things. The fact that you KNOW you were out of his league shows, that you're indeed on the right path to queendom. You knew that you deserved better, therefore... that's half the work done for you, already. You just need time to heal, and work on yourself. It will be hard in the beginning, I know it will. You will feel a lot of resentment, not just towards him... but to yourself as well. A lot of regret and anger at your past self, screaming "why didn't you leave him? Why did you let yourself be subjected to that?!"

The first step is to be rid of everything, in relation to him. Delete messages exchanged, throw away gifts/possessions--any ties, be rid of them immediately. He is dead. That is how you should treat him. He is dead, and that is it.

Lean on your support also. Whether that be family or friends. Be open to them about how you're feeling--how they may best accommodate you, through this process.

NOTE: In the rare event, that he may be a stalker (my ex was), it is best that you document any messages after if he becomes a problem. However. Exercise vigilance, always.

If he tries to message you. Do not reply. Block and delete. If a man has the potential to be a stalker, any message you send to him adds a good month or so to your duration of stalking. My ex stalked me for 1.5 years, even though I never sent him a single message for that duration. Had I of done so, he would still be stalking me today.

The time that this scrote used to take up, can now be time you can use on yourself. What do you want to do? Take up a new hobby? Study a new degree? Get yourself a pet, to pour your love and time into?

The world is yours, now.

Wishing you luck, and love through this process, girl!

Twolipz_78 · 2020-09-27T15:33:29+00:00

Word. For. Word everything that I’m going through right now myself except for the rotten dick part and the more “successful” part ( if you consider having more money by committing fraud and haggling it out of your ex girlfriend successful in terms of having more money). Just know that you are not alone and you can PM me if you need to talk.

Title	Just broke up with a LVM - support needed 🥺
Author	kinda-embarrasing
Upvotes	80
Comments	15
Date	September 26, 2020 5:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j09u88/just_broke_up_with_a_lvm_support_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-broke-up-with-a-lvm-support-needed.276327 https://theredarchive.com/post/276327

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