My GF fell in love with me as a 'bad boy'.. and obviously wants me to go 'good' now..

[deleted] · 2014-08-24T21:06:58+00:00

It might help if we knew what you mean by 'bad boy'. When I met my husband he definitely had 'bad boy' qualities. It made him seem pretty cool and hot to my idiotic 19-year-old self but if he pulled some of the shit now that he used to do, our relationship would be in serious jeopardy.

If your GF wants you to go 'good' it probably just means she's maturing and wants you to mature as well.

[deleted] · 2014-08-25T17:37:33+00:00

Her good/bad paradigm is hers and her projection of you. Why should you have to own it?

Chart your own course, it's your life.

What do you mean "bad," anyway? Cocaine habit? Stealing hood ornaments? Bar fights?

And what do you mean "good"? Going to church? Smiling at babies?

cxj · 2014-08-24T08:01:57+00:00

I don't think this is the correct sub for this

MagicGainbow · 2014-08-24T21:18:40+00:00

''But as soon as I go 'good' I'm not the guy she fell in love with?''

I've seen this happen a lot, she'll break you down OP, and then lose respect for you because you weren't strong willed enough to put your foot down on her bullshit, she's essentially challenging you saying ''i'm going to break/tame you.''

an_absolute_rose · 2014-08-24T07:43:58+00:00

Hold frame, manufacture drama, and never apologize. No woman wants a yes man.

workerbeebuzz · 2014-08-24T10:23:28+00:00

Are you both young?

mods_ban_honesty · 2014-08-24T08:23:35+00:00

But as soon as I go 'good' I'm not the guy she fell in love with? Or how does this work?

Have you ever read the book "Catch 22"?

[deleted] · 2014-08-25T06:52:54+00:00

What values did she fall in love with to begin with, and do you still believe in those values?

How can you maintain those values that you'd like to keep while "going good"?

And, maybe just warn her: "Hey, going good is going to take some time and practice. It's not going to be a smooth transition at first, but we're working on it."

chazzALB · 2014-08-25T15:41:03+00:00

Do you want to change? And if so, in what ways? Those are the only questions that matter. She doesnt get to choose who you are.

SpaceWhiskey · 2014-08-26T22:06:42+00:00

What about your behavior makes you a "bad boy"? Do you have other redeeming qualities that she likes that don't fit a "bad boy" model? What exactly does she want you to change about yourself that would shift bad to good?

Dreamtrain · 2014-08-29T05:24:42+00:00

We'll need more cues as to what your 'bad boys' qualities are and what is she recently demanding out of you.

You can be a better man without focusing on being a better man for her, but to be a better man for yourself and your own sake and she can either enjoy the improvement and join the ride or take a leave. That's pretty much one of the core values of RP.

Title	My GF fell in love with me as a 'bad boy'.. and obviously wants me to go 'good' now..
Author	mods_ban_honesty
Upvotes	4
Comments	42
Date	August 24, 2014 7:16 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2efgjs/my_gf_fell_in_love_with_me_as_a_bad_boy_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/my-gf-fell-in-love-with-me-as-a-bad-boy-and.285020 https://theredarchive.com/post/285020

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