I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 years, from ages 20-25. Frankly, when we first started dating I was more of an unfulfilled beta male. I didn't have a defined purpose in life. I never read a book. All I cared about what sports. I was quite submissive to her every need.

That couldn't have changed more in the last 5 years. I've identified a life purpose and work tirelessy at it. I relentlessly focus on self improvement. And I try to embody masculinity as discussed on this forum and in canonical texts like Deida's and Tomassi's. I'm very strict about my diet, sleep and health because I want to grow into the best version of myself.

To cut to the chase, here are a few things I'd love your take on:

  1. My girlfriend is not focused on self improvement. She's gained a lot of weight, doesn't sleep a lot and eats whatever she wants. It's my view that she resents how hard charging I've become and constantly attacks me for my diet and habits. This is a large source of conflict and I'm not sure it will ever be resolved.
  2. We do not see eye to eye on many fundamental values. She's more of an SJW than I am, for instance. The other day at lunch we had an argument because she felt that "the industry of banking is inherently corrupt". Every argument devolves into a bigger fight -- even one as small as this -- usually after she turns it into ad hominens about me ("You don't get it because you're privileged, etc)
  3. Whenever we have an argument, she demands I apologize unequivocally. She refuses to accept any responsibility. Do real men take all responsibility in every argument or try to compromise? My view is that a relationship can't grow unless both people admit their faults.
  4. We do not share many interests. I'm very interested in health, nutrition, philosophy, libertarian thought, etc. She is not. It's hard to have conversations about any of my deeper interests.

Frankly, I haven't been as good of a lover as I can be. I've definitely pulled back when she gets angry more than I should. Yet I have a nagging urge that she isn't the right woman for me and that there's someone more spiritually aligned with me out there. Should we break up? Is moving on me growing up or giving up? Are theses issues emerging because I'm not a good enough lover? Or are we simply incompatible now?

A lot of questions here...I appreciate all advice.