Do you guys ever pay for dinner/drinks?

chazthundergut · 2019-12-24T16:18:08+00:00

I typically pay the first date.

After that, even if I'm comfortable paying (I actually like to pay) I ask her to pay her share. Just on principle, and just to get her in the right headspace

flgeo7 · 2019-12-24T16:08:45+00:00

I see it as a balance. Sometimes I’ll pay, sometimes I make them pay for themselves, sometimes they buy me drinks. It just shows that you’re not a penny pinching broke boy. If I ever pay it’s never the first date. Another reason I might buy a girl a drink is if she has weed/cigarettes and she’s sharing. I do this with everyone btw, not just girls I’m seeing.

Red_Raze · 2019-12-24T16:51:50+00:00

If I invite a girl out it implies that I'm going to pay for drinks.

If she invites me, I expect her to pay.

No it doesn't? They pay their own shit unless they deserve being paid for (like when she's your well-behaving LTR). I don't owe them anything but what I promised, which is a fun date.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2019-12-24T19:07:02+00:00

Personally I’m a fan of treating this on the same terms as you would with a friend; Take turns or go dutch.

IMO, only pay for someone’s meal when you really feel like doing it and you don’t expect anything back from it. If the person has a problem with paying their own way, they should not be agreeing or should try to make plans with you that they can afford, plain and simple.

In this day and age, paying a for the woman on a date all the time makes no sense, we are fairly equal as far as potential for personal wealth growth. it originally was the social norm because most unwed, single women had low paying jobs if any in a male dominated workforce, so if a guy wanted to court said lady, he’d pay because most girls couldn’t.

Patches0wholahan · 2019-12-24T17:45:44+00:00

Work it into conversation. The first round of drinks is on me, by the second round, I get an idea if I should

Pay for the second round
Say “first round was on me, let’s split the second”
Say “first round was on me, you’re going to get the second.”

Option 3 gets my dick wet more often then. Options 1 or 2

rizzyfromthe9 · 2019-12-24T16:39:55+00:00

Only if it’s one drink not more

Whitefarmer · 2019-12-24T15:22:43+00:00

[removed]

Unbiased101 · 2019-12-24T16:06:16+00:00

Never

mikalepkoslika · 2019-12-24T15:38:28+00:00

Of course. I am a successful businessman. It’s peanuts for me.

Tousen71 · 2019-12-24T16:35:03+00:00

I pay for first date stuff (unless she insists on covering certain things—like popcorn after I bought the movie tickets kind of shit—which is a green flag).

After that I’ll pay for things I invite her to and allow her to cover minor expenses on the date.

I.e. If I’ve paid for dinner the last 3 times, if the bill isn’t too high on the 4th one, I’ll let her get it. If I got the last two rounds of drinks, I’ll let her get the next one.

I almost NEVER split the check.

That to me is broke boy incarnate.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-12-24T19:22:27+00:00

I have no problem paying for drinks, which most here disagree with but oh well never fucking had been an issue for me with scoring chicks

That said I DO NOT buy girls drinks at a bar I just met, only on dates that I initiated.

And I NEVER buy a girl food or anything beyond a glass of whiskey if we aren’t fucking

FereallyRed · 2019-12-25T00:14:06+00:00

"Split everything" is RP boilerplate because so many noobs are indoctrinated in the idea that "the man pays" as a societal construct. Which leads them down the beta path, is encouraging an outdated idea, and is easy to derive a covert contract from.(I paid $500 for this dinner, I better get my dick sucked.)

Once you are savvy enough to not automatically fall into those traps, though, the overriding maxim of frame takes over.

So the answer is... "Do what the fuck you want to do."

Want to buy a hooker for your nephew's 16th birthday? Why not?

Want to pick up $60 in gourmet burgers to share on the way to go fuck your plate?

Want to tell your fwb that she's getting the drinks tonight and you'll then have sex with her?

As always, the tricky part is thinking about if your wants are actually your wants... not cultural expectations, covert contracts, mom's advice... whatever.

Chadster113 · 2019-12-24T16:44:15+00:00

For the first date and then never again

Protocol_Apollo · 2019-12-24T17:03:22+00:00

I split it but typically my dates are things where you order separately and get billed separately.

It’s not a sit down meal where only one bill gets given unless you specify before hand.

If she gives you shit, joke about it and say, “well I believe in equality”.

hoopingblob · 2019-12-24T17:07:53+00:00

Never. I pay mine she pays hers unless she offers me to pay mine. Then I say nothing and let her pay mine

abomba24 · 2019-12-24T17:36:32+00:00

To me it's situational, but most often I'll expect them to pay their share. If it's a more established relationship than I'll figure respective income into it

askmrcia · 2019-12-24T17:54:50+00:00

My answer to this question that it depends.

And by that I mean, if it's a random chick on Tinder, and I made the first message, made the first suggestion and carrying the conversation where I feel like she's putting in low level effort despite agreeing to go on a date with me then I'm not paying for the first date. At least I'm not paying her tab.

Now if a girl showed more interest and put more effort into her text messages then I'll pay.

If I met a girl in real life then I'm paying because usually they put in as much as effort as a high level interest chick.

What I'm getting at is that it depends on how the conversations are leading up to the date. Women who put low level effort in and expects the man to do literally everything prior to the first date tells me that she's just hanging out with me because she's bored.

With all that said, I have gotten laid by not paying anything for the first date, going Dutch or by paying for the girl.

From my experience, me paying wasn't the sole reason I didn't get laid, it was just the cherry on top because the girl already made up her mind beforehand.

Youngyoda89 · 2019-12-24T20:18:57+00:00

I pay for my bitch bc I’m daddy. But I make her leave the tip. Unrelated to that, she offers to clean my house, wash my dog and other shit. I mostly decline bc I don’t really give a shit and I prefer to be independent. Paying for everything maintains my independence. I am not saying this is the only way, or the correct way for that matter, but this is my way and I can afford it and want to do it.

Also, she brings me weed every day, sex and oral sex whenever I want. None of it is transactional but I feel that she is definitely worth the meals I give her.

I never pay for company. It I take her to dinner it is on my own will. And I don’t do dinner every time. And I always pick the location.

MasculineRP · 2019-12-24T21:06:12+00:00

I usually say "I'll get this round, you get the next." And I've never had an issue.

XT3M3 · 2019-12-24T23:31:58+00:00

50/50 is my route. im not going to be used as a free meal and shes not going to try to act like i need to pay for her time

with a LTR i am flexible depending on the situation

Title	Do you guys ever pay for dinner/drinks?
Author	SCYAaCYT
Upvotes	5
Comments	44
Date	December 24, 2019 3:18 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ef2mm5/do_you_guys_ever_pay_for_dinnerdrinks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/do-you-guys-ever-pay-for-dinnerdrinks.302867 https://theredarchive.com/post/302867

Comments