Tips for Utilizing Passive Dread, Isn't It Toothless?

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November 20, 2019
5 upvotes

A few days ago, my wife had the opportunity to meet one of my female co-workers. She discovered she is (not only highly successful but also) young, cute and a little wild. Definitely a "threat" -- my wife feels more dread from girls that give off more of a partier vibe for sure. I noticed yesterday, when conversing with my wife that she was double-checking my stories from work in relation to this girl. She's working to hide it, but definitely a strong undercurrent of dread.

So my first question is--how does one approach these situations in a way that optimizes dread while also emphasizing your own moral character?

  • I could downplay or avoid discussing any interactions I have with this woman, or I could build them up more by finding excuses to bring them up.
  • I could subtly emphasize ways she is unattractive, or I could emphasize ways she is attractive
  • I could actively avoid interactions with her, or I could actively seek them out

Ideally it would be best to treat interactions with attractive women in the same manner as all my other interactions, bringing them up in conversation in the same manner as any other platonic interaction -- but then I wouldn't be making a post about this would I.

Should knowing my wife may "react" negatively to discussion of a girl who is a "threat" cause me to avoid that person in conversation? It certainly has in the past.

Finally, am I misunderstanding dread to think that it's due to the unspoken threat of infidelity? (Some girl is gonna take my man if I don't treat him right)... Because if I'm a man who would never cheat, does it really matter if I'm a man who could?


Post Information
Title Tips for Utilizing Passive Dread, Isn't It Toothless?
Author cdnrpc
Upvotes 5
Comments 8
Date 20 November 2019 09:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/304600
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/dz8xrq/tips_for_utilizing_passive_dread_isnt_it_toothless/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread game
Comments

[–]Deep_Strength3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I could downplay or avoid discussing any interactions I have with this woman, or I could build them up more by finding excuses to bring them up.

No. This does nothing. She already has her hamster up and running so avoiding it or going into it more makes it seem like there's something going on.

I could subtly emphasize ways she is unattractive, or I could emphasize ways she is attractive

No. This would sabotage your own efforts. Women usually get offended if you bring up how pretty other women are or how more unattractive they are, and it often does not lead to any positive result.

The best results come from women/wives coming to their own conclusion that they must work on themselves for you. Usually trying inject attractiveness/unattractiveness discussion when feelings are already higher or tense can make things blog up.

I could actively avoid interactions with her, or I could actively seek them out

No. Same as the first question.

So my first question is--how does one approach these situations in a way that optimizes dread while also emphasizing your own moral character?

Tease her about being jealous. Grab her and pull her into a bear hug and go for a passionate kiss. Use her feelings to fuel intimacy with her.

Finally, am I misunderstanding dread to think that it's due to the unspoken threat of infidelity? (Some girl is gonna take my man if I don't treat him right)... Because if I'm a man who would never cheat, does it really matter if I'm a man who could?

This is the secular perspective and useless to think about.

The fundamental underlying concept is that women/wives are still attracted/aroused to a man that other women find attractive regardless of moral character or not, which is why her hamster is spinning and you didn't need to do anything.

Tips for Utilizing Passive Dread, Isn't It Toothless?

"Passive dread" is becoming more attractive by being a godly, masculine, muscular, confident leader. Other women pick up on that and are attracted. This attraction tends to make the woman/wife you are with jealous and protective, but this can be used to grow the relationship.

It's not about cheating or anything like that.

[–]Red-Curious0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Solid.

Women usually get offended if you bring up how pretty other women are

The one exception I'd give is passive comments about TV/celebrities. They know you're not trying to make them jealous because it's not realistic, so they're not hurt or offended. But it does show them that you have sexual thoughts broadly and not merely for her alone. Or to put it another way, it's more honest about the sexual thoughts you have, bringing out overtly what most men are too afraid to communicate in front of their wives.

It also alerts her to the types of things you find attractive without you having make it personal toward her not fulfilling that desire.

women/wives are still attracted/aroused to a man that other women find attractive regardless of moral character or not

Right, as I often note that dread is a byproduct of preselection post-marriage, not jealousy itself. That probably deserves a post at some point. Even the secular guys will acknowledge that if you're trying to make her jealous, you're doing it wrong. At that point, you're in her frame, worrying too much about what she thinks or feels toward you.

"Passive dread" is becoming more attracting by being a godly, masculine, muscular, confident leader.

As well as developing wit, a better fashion sense, learning kino, etc.

[–]Deep_Strength0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As well as developing wit, a better fashion sense, learning kino, etc.

Hah. I didn't want to go too laundry list!

[–]Red-Curious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, my point was simply that there's more to it than just qualities that prove you're a good leader. You get that, though. The way you had it worded made it seem like leadership was the primary focus, though.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

but then I wouldn't be making a post about this would I.

You called yourself out on this one. Well done.

Should knowing my wife may "react" negatively to discussion of a girl who is a "threat" cause me to avoid that person in conversation? It certainly has in the past.

And you called yourself out on this one. Well done.

You're still not over some sketch in your wife's past. And you're wondering if you can drop some dread her way? All she's got to do is say one name and the dread there would melt your frame like vanilla ice cream in the dessert. Go ahead ... say the name to yourself and see what your insides do.

Passive dread is passive. What do you think "passive" means? Stop trying to act on things that you can't control - like you're wife's view of you or how your wife feels about you. And get active on things you can be active on. Stop trying to DO passive dread. Stop thinking about dread man.

You do you.

[–]cdnrpc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go ahead ... say the name to yourself and see what your insides do.

Appreciate you doing your research. I tried it. Not much stirring in me there. If I was in a low place, maybe that answer would be different.

Currently, I'm mostly just concerned to the extent that, I'm not a man who will tolerate any level of infidelity and if I can ever tease out the truth I will act on it.

You're right, overthinking the "passive dread" thing. Mostly because in the past I've worked hard to avoid causing any level of passive dread and now have to recalibrate and be a normal human.

[–]CarelessBowler50 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Stop trying to DO passive dread.

Trying to keep this in mind for myself today.

Currently on vacation with the family. It doesn't easily work out for my wife, and I to take the kids to the swimming pool at the same time.

Took the 3yo to the pool yesterday. IOIs from everyone (All the other men there are fat, out of shape, the usual.). Part of me is thinking, "Man, you'd get some good sex if you could get her out here with you."

But part of me is thinking, "Just chill. She knows. Don't get anxious about having sex or not. She is fully aware of how much better your physique than like every other man here at this resort."

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah ... the physical response from your woman is exactly that IMO. A response ... to you. If you're trying to draw it out of her, then it's not exactly there like you want it to be.

I think the best thing to draw it out of her is when you look in the mirror yourself and like what you see.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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