Do Not Directly Inquire About Past Promiscuity

You should never directly ask a woman about how many guys she’s “had sex with” or “slept with” or “been with” or whatever other variant because you can’t trust what she tells you anyway. One counterargument is that this might allow one to retrieve a rough estimate from the response (a lie about sleeping with 10 guys is different from a lie about sleeping with 40 guys: the former suggests a lower count). However, even this is problematic because some are more willing to tell extreme lies than others (one girl might say 10 when it’s really 100; one girl might say 40 when it’s really 41). Furthermore, people’s definition of “slept with” varies: Does giving or receiving oral (or both) count as “slept with”? How about sex while under the influence?

This is not to mention the way she will perceive you if you pester her with such questions: In her eyes, you are insecure; you are not some calculating, socially aware man trying to determine if she’s relationship material based on empirical evidence demonstrating a positive correlation between past promiscuity and present fidelity.

It is notable that women should not be blamed for lying about their partner counts. They are hyperaware of the negative view society has of promiscuous women. Their value in the eyes of the men they court or who court them will be diminished should they give a high-numbered response. Moreover, they are simply trying to score the best mate possible and accomplishing that goal is better done by lying about something that will increase their value and at the same time be very difficult for the man to verify. In other words, it is a low-risk lie.

Why She's An Adept Liar

Intuitively, if it’s in your best interest to conceal a piece of potentially damaging information about yourself, you become adept at concealing it. You’re constantly aware of it—it’s always there in your mind, ready to be accessed.

Suppose you stole a bicycle. Now, anytime you engage in communication that might lead to mention of bicycles, you actively deceive by watching your words or redirecting the dialogue.

Slip ups arise when we feel particularly guilty or ashamed about the information because any communication or events that seriously threaten to reveal the information will engage certain defense mechanisms, which in these situations often manifest as unexpected, visceral emotional responses. It is precisely because they are unexpected that they are revealing: The person on the other side of the communication reads into why you (over)reacted as you did and begins questioning and connecting dots.

Women, particularly those raised in the Western world, do not generally feel guilt or shame about past promiscuity; however, they are hyperaware that it is in their best interest to conceal past promiscuity since it is potentially damaging information: Men generally value promiscuous women less and women want to attract the best man possible. (Studies show that even women value promiscuous women less in the context of platonic relationships.)

Because women generally feel neither guilt nor shame about their past promiscuity, there is less chance of a slip up, i.e., there is less chance of them admitting or even alluding to their past promiscuity. Moreover, they feel little to no guilt when lying about past promiscuity when directly asked about it: “He has no business asking that anyway. He’s just being insecure and it doesn’t matter.”

Mind Your Perception

"Duh! This is all basic stuff. Tl;dr: mind her actions, not her words."

Maybe. But remember that many women are neither unintelligent nor socially unaware. You can't simply peruse their Instagram and Facebook, or examine their social interactions, clothing, and friendship choices, and conclude on that basis alone what kind of woman she is. The reason--and it really is a crushing reality when you've properly considered it--is that you can't trust your own perception (is that not the whole idea of TheRedPill?).

We are all to some degree prisoners of our perception: The collection of things that created it often presents a false reality. That shy, religious girl who dresses conservatively, doesn't have any social media accounts, befriends only other religious and conservative girls, has only been in one relationship, and is a voracious reader? Our upbringing exclaims that she is faithful, dutiful, moral, and is not promiscuous. But she could just as easily be none of those things, couldn't she?