I'm about to break Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

mgtowthrowawayman · 2020-01-22T10:16:27+00:00

In a month two months max it’ll be the same old bullshit from last time

Subutai_Baghatur · 2020-01-22T10:47:45+00:00

Did you guys ever break this rule but in the end it turned out well?

Yes and it has never turned out well. Ultimately, I think it comes down to this: she knows that you could not do any better so this shifts the power dynamic to her as she realises that she’s the prize and then her respect for you plummets.

learning0007 · 2020-01-22T10:43:37+00:00

We all do it, it never works out

tiredturtleman · 2020-01-22T09:24:56+00:00

Broke it, got back together and didn’t workout. Don’t do it. It’s a rule for a reason.

volvostupidshit · 2020-01-22T11:24:14+00:00

If you think you are special then go ahead. Don't forget to file a field report after.

Red_Raze · 2020-01-22T12:57:16+00:00

No one here gives a flying fuck if you don't use trp. No one here is going to suck you off if you prove to be an exception by breaking iron rules and still succeeding. Make sure you learn one way or another, but you better not come back crying cause your "special plan to win her back" didn't work out.

"Foresight teaches gently, error teaches brutally."

Iluvalmonds83 · 2020-01-22T14:01:27+00:00

The reason why it rarely ever works, is because whatever was making the relationship dysfunctional (cheating, insecurity, trust issues, mental illness, shitty personality traits, etc) has unlikely been addressed or fixed. So you end up repeating those behaviors and crash and burn again.

Sometimes time, self improvement and maturity will fix these behaviors, but if this breakup was recent, it’ll likely fail. But hey, sometimes we need to do it anyways and experience failure before we learn our lesson.

StudentCPA · 2020-01-22T21:14:12+00:00

The reason its an Iron Rule is because 95% of the time getting back with an ex is just not going to work out. The breakup happened due to some underlying issue that likely was never solved.

I recently tried this and within 2.5 months of being back together it failed so i'll explain what happened so you have an example.

Was dating a girl. Solid HB8 and gave all the signs of being super into me. Only problem was she had major insecurity issues. This eventually led to her breaking up with me because she was too afraid I'd just "leave her for someone younger or prettier one day".

After about a month of no contact she hits me up and says she wants to talk to me. Eventually I agree and she says that the last month has been awful and she doesn't know how she could ever move on from me yadda yadda and wants to get back together. I don't agree immediately but say we can start hanging out again and see where it goes. I told her that if it was ever going to work though, that she needed to work on her insecurities and I didn't ever want to be accused of cheating again (I never did) or of avoiding her to hangout with other girls etc.

At first things are great, I can tell she is making an active effort to work on her insecurities and when they would flare up she would deal with them in a much more mature way. Then one day about two months in a couple of her friends told her that one of their other friends had seen me at a bar while we were together the first time and that I had my arms around another girl and kissed her. I never did any of this and when she told me, I treated it almost like a joke because it was absurd. The girls who had accused me didn't like me for whatever reason (honestly probably had nothing to do with me but rather jealousy over the fact they were single and their friend had a boyfriend) and made this up. I could tell after that her insecurities resurfaced in full force again and she basically stopped making an effort to try.

Within three weeks she ended things again saying crap like "I just feel like I'm not good enough for you", "I don't know if you can love me the way I need to be loved" blah blah. This happened a little over a month ago and she's already tried to reach out 4 times to talk to me. Blocked her on everything and am moving on.

My point is, you're wasting your time bud.

2020-01-22T10:53:05+00:00

We all do it. I did it just a month ago. She finally just jumped some new dick and blocked my ass. 2 years down the drain. Let sleeping dogs lie.

WiterS2 · 2020-01-22T15:18:03+00:00

Since you do not give enough information, I assume that you are trying to "reconstruct a failed relationship".

If she broke in the past, it means that she isn't satisfied with you, and she will never be.

She will always be looking for a replacement. You can't fix it.

PeautyBrinciple · 2020-01-22T09:54:28+00:00

It's a bad idea but it seems like you've made up your mind. You need to experience it yourself to realise though.

MisterRoid · 2020-01-22T11:22:04+00:00

If you are happy to get more sex I don't see the big deal. But it's true that's it's almost impossible to change someone's perception of you, so if a girl sees you as a beta don't waste your energy. Ultimately it depends on why you broke up. If it happened because you cheated on her that's one of the best case scenarios to hook up again I would say.

The_Worlds_End · 2020-01-22T11:32:31+00:00

That's, like, the worst one to break dude

KirthWGersen · 2020-01-22T14:18:12+00:00

It can work out well, but only if the dynamic of the relationship changes. That can mean changing the structure of the relationship (e.g. from girlfriend to FWB) or changing behaviours (e.g. not nagging or cheating any more).

People sometimes do learn and do change for the better over time.

But past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour. The odds are you'll be back to square one before long.

So if you value your long-term happiness, it is usually best not to revisit failed relationships. However, when emotions are involved we rarely take purely rational decisions...

Chadster113 · 2020-01-22T15:55:17+00:00

Oneitis

AJ_KG_JG · 2020-01-22T20:40:54+00:00

In my pre red-pill days I was FWB's with a couple women I had dated prior, while angling/hoping we'd "get back together". It never lasted and really, was kind of a waste of time relative to the effort, thought, and emotion I put into it. I mean, if post-breakup sex falls into my lap I won't refuse, but now I won't waste a single moment of my life thinking about a woman after we've broken up.

Cody_Silver · 2020-01-22T20:46:06+00:00

Why waste your precious time on something you already know ain’t gonna work?

White_Phillip · 2020-01-23T00:19:09+00:00

Have fun learning the rule through experience, my dude.

2020-01-24T09:14:28+00:00

It can work, but you have to be a certain type of person. By asking this question, I feel you are not.

You really need to be in complete control of yourself, logical, high value, and scarce to her. And willing to ensure that NEVER changes. I don't believe you can do that right now, personally, but fuck, man, you can try. Prove me wrong. I hardly know you anyways.

Title	I'm about to break Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
Author	tudor07
Upvotes	1
Comments	26
Date	January 22, 2020 9:16 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/es9jht/im_about_to_break_iron_rule_of_tomassi_7/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-about-to-break-iron-rule-of-tomassi-7.313307 https://theredarchive.com/post/313307

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