This is why we’re not nice.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-11-19T00:07:35+00:00

We’ve all had a similar situation. Any lurkers who call us “nasty women” need to realize we just don’t let men walk all over us anymore.

Platipus6 · 2020-11-19T01:25:33+00:00

Men : being a woman is easy! women are so privileged! women have no intrinsic value!

Also men : blowing up if you don't-

Make dinner plans

Clean the entire house

Go grocery and liquor shopping

Cook the entire meal and appetizers, remembering people's allergies and preferences

Greet your entire family while you're absent

Host them in a pleasant and cheerful manner and serve drinks and apps

Serve dinner, clear plates, serve dessert

Wash all dishes

Plaster a smile on your face while they talk disinteresting nonsense

Wish them farewell and help them remember all their belongings

Remain insanely cheerful while your appendix is exploding. Quit your fucking crying I'm trying to sleep.

Ghost_namesake · 2020-11-19T01:53:20+00:00

My NVM ex husband used to pull stuff like this. Make Thanksgiving for my family... Uhm no. Last year I left the country at Thanksgiving instead of being The Hostess ™️. I had the time of my life on my solo trip and it became very clear that I didn't need his dusty ass holding me back anymore.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-11-19T00:27:29+00:00

[deleted]

LevelTurbulent · 2020-11-19T15:43:22+00:00

Yeah, this was my life. I remember when his awful mother decided to tell me what a terrible wife and mother I was. I was like fine, you don't have to speak to me anymore. And I stopped talking to her.

Her birthday rolls around and she calls up demanding to know why her son did not send her a gift. Did I stop him from buying one for her because I'm so petty?

It felt really good to say, "Your son have never bought you a Christmas or birthday gift throughout our entire marriage, that was all me because I didn't want you to be hurt by his irresponsibility. You're welcome." Then I hung up on her.

Fitncurly · 2020-11-19T05:36:10+00:00

My husband is notoriously bad with answering family texts (to his family, and most folks in general—but not me 😝), and he doesn’t remember their birthdays or give gifts (rarely to them at least). Do I chime in and mother him into remembering? Into gifting? Nope! Hell, I don’t keep up either (some of his family are phony jerks and I don’t care for them), and I know that this type of stuff isn’t thanked or considered.

I’ve literally handmade his family things (shit I actually get PAID for because it’s quality craftsmanship) in our much less prosperous past just so we could show up with thoughtful gifts at gatherings (my husband contributing money, not the time, talent or energy) all so these people could act like they could barely give a fuck. They’ve talked terrible shit about me behind my back too. They wanna not like me? Fuck ‘em, and I don’t do a thing for them anymore. Anecdotally they all live in shitty neighborhoods and around this time of year we always get the “who’s house are we going to Thanksgiving/Christmas to?” calls and texts, because they wanna be at our place and soak up our awesome vibes, but the one time I hosted and cooked all the food my MIL disrespects me behind my back in my own house?! No more. This year we are having our lovely postcard-perfect holiday season amongst ourselves and they can cram into their places and try to block out the noise and crime to the best of their abilities. You can’t be nice to people who disrespect you or else you’ll just be trampled and miserable. They’ll NEVER care about you or consider you the way a decent person should, so don’t waste your talents and energies. One particular shit-talking auntie of his loves my baking, and always wants pies/cakes for herself—guess who won’t be getting shit from me ever again? Don’t do a thing for crappy people, that’ll never bring approval from them or happiness for you.

JasmineAndCloves · 2020-11-19T20:35:17+00:00

Jeez. He definitely knew ahead of time that they were coming. Who travels across the country for the holidays on a whim? That sort of thing requires money, time off work and planning. He just didn’t want to deal with her protesting about having to host his family once again with apparently no assistance on his part.

Title	This is why we’re not nice.
Author	luvmyvulvaxoxo
Upvotes	139
Comments	14
Date	November 19, 2020 12:07 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jwrsnj/this_is_why_were_not_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-why-were-not-nice.334500 https://theredarchive.com/post/334500

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