This probably should be a question for my shrink, but what the hell I've read the best advice about depression on TRP so I'll give it a shot.

Whenever I get close to my goals I end up sabotaging. Currently my goal is to get under 200lbs and as I get close I end up binge eating and throwing myself way off.

I do it all the time, whenever I start to get good at something I enjoy I lose interest. It's like deep down I want to live in perpetual incompleteness. It's really odd. There is nothing stopping me but myself and that's really a mind fuck.

Maybe it's because I'm trying to shirk responsibility. That doesn't quite ring true because I take responsibility for a lot of things, maybe too many.

Anyway I'm rambling now. Thanks for reading.