~ archived since 2018 ~

Be careful gents

metalsympathizer

November 22, 2019

604 upvotes

Archived from /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

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Post Information

Title	Be careful gents
Author	metalsympathizer
Upvotes	604
Comments	121
Date	November 22, 2019 10:54 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/e08vex/be_careful_gents/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/be-careful-gents.343265 https://theredarchive.com/post/343265

Comments

[–]_Fuckit_140 points141 points142 points 6 years ago (60 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates123 points124 points125 points 6 years ago (39 children) | Copy Link

you would have to be genuinely insane to think out of 3.5 billion women they are all bad.

there are many women who are lovely and a pleasure to deal with, there are some women in my life i actively enjoy seeing and spending time with.

but in terms of stats and liklihood, would i pin 50% of my entire worth and potential future earnings that any particular women is a wonderful kind and compassionate partner, not a fucking chance,

they are out there and they do exist, but the balance has tipped where the search/risk is not equal to the risk.

i.e in simple terms if the market was 51% goodies and 49% baddies a case could be made to take the risk, but vice versa it makes more sense to refrain.

razer thin ratios to flip from one to the other, but thats science/maths baby, you would be a fool to take a wild gamble when the odds are not in your favour.

to my 2019 male brothers out there the odds are definitely NOT in your favour.

[–]Gemjab31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates43 points44 points45 points 6 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

so in mathmatics there is something called the "expectant value"

to simplify if you have a 50% chance of winning $1000 the expectant value is $500 (probability of winning multiplied by the win).

technically provided the expectant value is greater than the odds it should be a no-brainer to enter, i.e if a game had a 50:50 chance of winning but the win was greater than double your money, you would be a fool not to play.

what this means in dating and marriage however is that if you change a "win" to a "loss" then it becomes a nobrainer to not get involved.

yes there are many lovely stable happy women who would enrich your life and make you happy, but for every one of them there are probably 2 or 3 which would ruin your life and actually make you worse off.

the odds just dont stack up in the modern age, its better to just avoid the game in my view.

[–]Gemjab16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

One thing to remember though is that as a man you have sort of won the lottery, because its perfectly possible (and actually quite likely) that you can live a very fulfilling and joyfilled life of meaning outside of a relationship, i.e your selfworth isnt defined by a relationship.

dont believe me, look at all of the lifes heroes or people of interest who have done amazing things and won the admiration and respect of society, each and everyone of them is remembered for their great works or vision they brought not the woman they were dating/married to.

infact i would even go one step further and say that many great men (e.g darwin/newton/Einstein etc) actually had reservation about women and considered marriage and long term pair bonding as significantly suboptimal, as it distracted them from their pursuits of knowledge/interest.

in simple terms, a man can define himself and nurture self satisfaction and pride from his achievements and life's work, women however seem to derive satisfaction from status and social capital which is always fleeting and never permanent.

Be thankful you are a man my son, because you belong to the team that has reached the furthest and is the most independent.

[–]Gemjab4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

personally (and this is my own view here) its a red flag to me, social media is a false illusion and if someone spends significant chunks of time or care in the false illusion they will bring with them false expectation and never ever reach a state of satisfaction and contentment.

i have never had any social media at all, no facebook, twitter, instagram, my space, snap chat etc, literally nothing, and i have never done on line dating either.

personally i think it rots the soul, its projects a false narrative of success and unobtainable fantasy which ultimately does nothing but makes people uncontent with what they have.

dating apps in particular i consider massively harmful, as you will never achieve happiness if you have this belief that partners are a never ending pool of potential suitors you will unrealistically believe you just need to wait for the "Perfect match"

the reality of dating as with products and consumerism is that you would actually be much happier and better off if you choice was limited and you only had a handful of opportunities.

for example if you imagine two examples, one where you get a catalogue of new and exciting gadgets every day, and one where you get a single catalogue once a year and that is all you know.

i would bet every penny i have that you would get more satisfaction and happiness from the catalogue (and purchase) from the once a year option than the daily one, because ultimately what the daily version brings is more doubt than choice and so has a negative effect on you.

if you consider partners in the same way, it can actually be better to have LESS choice and for it to be more rare than people who have a new partner almost every week.

[–]Gemjab9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Iron_Squid2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The decline in mental strength in males and females alike has to do with the way that western society has been plagued with "instant gratification" . It damages a person's will to pursue anything beyond the point of initial satisfaction, since they reason that it's not worth it if they can just search for something else that will give them just as much of a sense of satisfaction instead. In this context, there's now a "hook-up culture" that sprung up from both males and females alike not wanting to put in as much effort to keep a partner in the long turn, slowly damaging both parties' self esteem and lives in the process.

The western men and women of this era are not being challenged enough; everything is literally handed to them from birth, and they barely have to do anything other than remember a few basic facts to be considered "smart" in school. I'm not saying this to spite the younger generation, I'm saying this because I am from the younger generation and have realized the fortunes of technology and quirks of history that my fellow Gen Z colleagues fail to appreciate, and am saddened to see that my generation will probably cause the first cycle of degeneration in the modern west.

[–]TheCleanSlates3 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

im old school (was a kid before cell phones were even a thing), one of the biggest differences between my generation and your generation is that we were on our own, so that if something happened or we had a problem we had to effectively self solve and reason with ourselves to solve it.

i remember at the time of cell phones becoming popular this changed things because kids could always phone a parent or loved one for advice or help at any point, and it shifted an entire mindset /growth, the internet has done this to an even greater degree.

so now we end up with "adults" who have never actually been really tested or self sufficient or even thought for themselves, everything is just a fact hunt and not actually a reasoned process of applying logic and critical thinking.

this manufactures a state of arrested development in addition to the instant gratification that you mention and its a perfect storm for loss of identity and ability to cope or have pride in the self and its no wonder that people are more useless and less capable than they ever have been.

[–]Iron_Squid2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Gemjab1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates4 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Gemjab4 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates4 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Gemjab4 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates3 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Unusual_Chair2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EggOfDelusion2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gemjab3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]EggOfDelusion3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Gemjab2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NohoTwoPointOhJr. Hamster Analyst0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Typo-MAGAshivOfficial Bloopie Chaser, Drive-by Asshole21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheCleanSlates18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin2240 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Demiansky10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, both men and women want to try to bag a mate That's above their own value, the difference today is that there is mountains of social pressure on men to "settle down, man up, and support a family" and the exact opposite pressure for women: "the grass is always greener on the other side, every girl deserves a prince, never settle for less than what you want."

This becomes especially obvious when you are raising children, and you see these values pushed in every single Disney movie, where the "desireable princess" (whom every single girl is supposed to empathize and relate to) is dissatisfied with her simple, safe, but unexciting life. It doesn't surprise me at all that young girls grow up to believe that "they are a princess and are entitled to a prince" by virtue of just existing. This is the fantasy they've been pounded with since they were 3 years old.

As for things like being overly emotional, I think women are disposed to this vice the way that men are disposed to bouts of violence. The difference is that when a man throws something across the room in frustration, it's considered abominable, where as a women lashing out or emotionally tormenting someone is considered acceptable, or even funny.

I don't see any of the problems you mentioned being destiny. It would be a start if we could stop reinforcing them.

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Typo-MAGAshivOfficial Bloopie Chaser, Drive-by Asshole4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Typo-MAGAshivOfficial Bloopie Chaser, Drive-by Asshole0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]prettyflamazing6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]upsidedownbackwards2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]BluepillProfessorMRP Mod3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]upsidedownbackwards0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

The contrast is very real. I feel way more on the defensive the whole time. I thought "tomboys" would be the best fit for me, but I'm finding out they're a lot less "work on my own car" than I thought. They mostly mean "I don't wear dresses and I like beer".

It's definitely different. With guy I feel like I was looking at things from a woman's perspective. What's his job, what's his hobbies, what does he do? Are we going to be able to talk about these things? Help each other with them? I feel like there's more variety, more guys in different jobs living different lives doing different things. They've got crazier stories about their "bad days" of living in a basement in Northern VT through a winter or living in a shed in NOLA. They have more stories about the wild shit they've done in bad times. Women are about the good food they've eaten, the cool places they've been, the impressive stuff they've done and the people they hang out with. And they only want to hear the good stories in return. They want to hear about the best places I've visited while living in my bus but not the story of when I thought I blew the radiator in the desert getting there. The radiator blowing was the most intense part! The things I do that impress men don't impress women.

I also feel like there's a huge target on my back because I'm gainfully employed, travel a lot, 6'4 35 years old and totally stupid about women , so I'd make a great beta bux.

[–]TheCleanSlates2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

my answer would be pure speculation as i dont know your culture/ location age range or likely encounters etc.

but having said that i would say the odds are not good, not many women have those interests and the few that do, tend to come at it from a different angle, where its either a loud statement of how "gnarly" she is, like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up5VDRR2cJc or it's used as a constant validation of how "Independant" she is etc

i think the sort of woman you want does exist however and i would imagine they are most likely to be farmers, or from a farmer family, as i could imagine they are very down to earth with a sense of achievement and practicality about them which is bullshit free. i.e they dont consider themselves fragile beauty queens to be waited on hand and foot, but instead admire and respect the realities of how the "sausage gets made" when it comes to man and the environment.

I certainly wouldnt rule them out, but i wouldnt lose any opportunities either to chase/look for them as your odds arent good (i suspect)

i wish you well though.

[–]Mefic_vest0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

you would have to be genuinely insane to think out of 3.5 billion women they are all bad.

“You would be genuinely insane to think out of 3.5 billion opportunities to win the lottery’s grand prize, that all the tickets purchased would fail to match all the numbers.”

The situation is not that much different. Yes, good women exist. Good luck finding them, though. Your life is infinitely better spent focusing on yourself, improving yourself, and forging your own path in this world - on the default assumption that you will remain a life-long bachelor - than waiting around for “the one” who will truly stand by your side, respect you, and stay with you through thick and thin.

The point is, intentionally looking for “the one” is like intentionally trying to game the lottery using supercomputers to determine the most likely winning numbers, and then buying the top 10% of all number combinations at a cost of tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yes, you could indeed win. But you will most likely fail miserably, and end up deeply in debt as a wage slave. For what? Getting your dick wet? Getting your life dragged through the courts on a bad bet? Getting shackled to massive court-ordered monthly payments to support crotchfruit that aren’t even yours?

No. The math simply doesn’t add up anymore in today’s world. That doesn’t mean you can’t keep your eyes open in case you - against all odds - actually stumble across a good woman. People do win the lottery all the time. But for every winner there are millions of losers, and to intentionally run in that race is a supremely stupid decision that has an insanely high likelihood of leaving you all the worse for it.

[–]Criket-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]plainnsimpleforever10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]_Fuckit_11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]jacketguy1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

we kno they arent all bad just most are

feminism has permeated our society and ruined women over the past 50 yrs to the point where women who dont even claim to be feminist ARE feminist

some women grew up in the country, and were disciplined when they did wrong, and didnt watch much tv .... but that is of course a very small amount.. most women r powered by the same software...... just go out and ask women if they should be allowed to abort their own children

most will say yes.. so i want u to think.. if most women believe they should be able to rip their own baby out of what should be the safest place on earth and murder it, then what do u think they allow themselves to do to men in relationships?

when its between what she wants and a decision of integrity, chances r the modern woman will choose what she wants every time

and imo our grandmothers weren’t like this.. its the modern woman who is generally a turd of a human

[–]Strixt0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this sub. And agree with its tenants and similar subs. Please don’t bad me either hah.

I agree with you though. Good women come with faults. Finding a women who accepts her faults and your own faults is very impossible though for a majority of us. Yes I know there are some who get lucky who marry a girl 17-19. If she hasn’t had any dick before and she is essentially marked by you she is less likely to cheat or leave and so on. There are studies to back this up with the whole pair bonding argument.

Sadly most women’s pair bonding is ruined. Expectations are to high or unreasonable. And aren’t willing to accept themselves for their own faults and be able to look past their partners short comings as well. Even though it is better for everyone to overcome these imperfections. These women have gained to much of a princess/queen disorder.

They tell men to not expect sex to be like porn. But they forget to tell women that relationships are not like the movies. No none of us will have a notebook or 50 shades of gay life.

And now we simply be safe and say AWALT

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