A devout 'Christian'

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2019-08-29T13:27:56+00:00

Two kids by 21 with no husband in the picture along with a not very chaste profile picture and a slightly obscured arm tattoo...Yeah the Christianity is just oozing from her pores, like 10w-40.

About the only thing Christian about this is me screaming, "Jesus Christ that is a big ass" when I first opened this link.

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2019-08-29T13:38:16+00:00

She's a bit porky. Isn't gluttony one of the seven deadly sins?

TerpsMakeMeDrink · 2019-08-29T14:18:49+00:00

Nothing like showing us a picture that shows us nothing about you except your hair color and that you have a pancake ass reminiscent of Chris Farley.

I'm a mommy of two little boys

At age 21?! Are they twins? Or did you just decide you were gonna let Chad dick you down RAW when you were 16? I don't get it. Also, nothing I want more in life than to take care of 2 bastards that look like the last guy that dumped a fat load in your flabby, blown-out pussy. Guaranteed that if we dated they would not respect my rules either, so I can get treated like a beta bitch by you AND your sons, while still paying for all of your bills. Just livin' the dream!

Christian

Ok, what is it about Christian girls getting DICKED THE FUCK DOWN so young?! Every girl I know from church growing up has a kid out of wedlock now, including the ones that were lightspeed-ugly. And they are ALL fat now. And based on the fact that you used this picture, I am gonna assume that you are also fat.

Swipe right to see if I did the same

Based on what criteria that you bring to the table? You didn't mention one redeeming quality about yourself. Start investing in Franzia and cat food, tubby.

miguelcar · 2019-08-29T14:31:07+00:00

I need to join this Christian religion. Seems like it's full of girls willing to rawdog it. 99 percent of the time if she's pregnant and on tinder, she's Christian.

NickTesla2018 · 2019-08-29T14:27:55+00:00

Is that the position in which both kids were conceived? Up against the wall?

FactCheckOnTheFly · 2019-08-29T14:37:46+00:00

This profile = not "Christian". I might be wrong but a profile pic of your ass and 2 bastard kids isn't exactly screaming "Virgin Mary" to me. Cognitive Dissonance, thy name is single mother.

BUT HEY, HERE'S MY ASS AND AN IMPLIED PROMISE OF FIRST DATE SEX!!! CHRISTIAN!!!

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2019-08-29T16:17:37+00:00

Look at you, you cute little Sausage. All packed into those jeans, with your cellulite all stuffed in there like, well, a sausage.

So, let's do an environmental scan:

Ugly sofa and chair, shit mix of tag sale tables and mid century modern lamp = Household income likely under $25k a year.
Baby play tunnel in the background with a playpen setup = Likely leaves the kid alone playing for long stretches of time.
Water bottle on the table. Good hydration. Not bad.
White baby in wall photo = ok. Black man in table photo = hmmmm.
Rose tattoo, cheap fake watch, hair band around wrist = cliche basic bitch

Okay.

What's your deal?

21 year old Christian mommy of two little boys

So, let's ask some questions. What do you want us to know about you?

Swipe right to see if I did the same.

Well. Okay. I got the impression that you were seeking something more, um, sustainable.

This is tinder after all. Good luck. You will def get laid tonight.

Domebeers · 2019-08-29T16:08:34+00:00

Lol. Usually fat girls show the face. This one is showing you she's fat but not her face. Swipe right!

BukakiTsunami · 2019-08-29T19:34:06+00:00

When she gets knocked up again, she'll be in front of the church asking for forgiveness and financial support.

She promises, she's changed this time.

FreedomFromIgnorance · 2019-08-29T22:40:07+00:00

That pose is the only way she can hide that she’s obese. She might think it makes dudes say she’s got a phat ass, when really it just makes me think she’s a fatass.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2019-08-29T14:09:33+00:00

Woman, when Christ cleanses you, you are supposed to "go and sin no more".

What are you doing, posing like that on a fornication app? Get thee to a nunnery!

Pimozv · 2019-08-29T21:16:18+00:00

A big ass is sexy only when it's below a narrow waist. Otherwise it's just a fat ass.

miguelcar · 2019-08-29T13:35:02+00:00

She meant to say her chads name was named "Christian." Or it would be Christian if YOU to take her of her kids and bills while she goes and rides the CC

OldFashionMarine · 2019-08-29T15:18:18+00:00

Are all these thots using emojis to attract men who can't read? Maybe they are the only ones left who haven't turned them down.....

SilverGryphon · 2019-08-29T17:44:10+00:00

Another born again virgin.

ugluk1 · 2019-08-30T02:08:18+00:00

Wants Christian BB, too bad they aren't reproducing.

Velvet_Hammer_ · 2019-08-30T02:22:46+00:00

Strange, I know, but the first thing I noticed was the endomorphic, almost pygmy-like forearms on her. She has got to be below average height, even for a woman. Which makes "rockin' that sack of potatoes" in back look even more physiologically disturbing. In a nutshell, an Oompa-Loompa.

Redhood616 · 2019-08-30T15:35:33+00:00

Fat women really have the weirdest bodies. Their bodies store fat everywhere except their asses (the 1 acceptable spot to have fat). This is a very wide, floppy ass (pancake ass) most likely held together in shape by those jeans.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-09-01T01:35:18+00:00

What the hell? Is there even a torso there? It goes straight from chest to waist!

bushwicksick · 2019-08-29T14:15:35+00:00

So stomach turning. There are no good women left in Western society. The females we have now are ghoulish creatures. My take:

My Maria vibes are strong with this one. She is most definitely a Latinx [muh-gender, muh-equality]. She might have some chicanx in her thus the lack of real curves.
She has two bastard children by the age of 21. This might be the biggest red flag. Why does she have two bastards? Where izz they daddy? Donde estars tu papas? F8cking whore.
Tries to make herself look good by including the tidbit that she is a Christian 💩. Did you know it is not Christlike to have sex before marriage or display your body in an immodest manner?
At the age of 21, she has popped out 2 bastards. In my view she already looks 40-50lbs overweight aka 'thick'. To be fair, she does carry it relatively well at the moment. In 10 years, she will be the size of a beached blue whale. At a minimum, she will weigh an additional 75lbs EASILY. Females are obsessed with showing themselves off. I can guarantee that her gut is bigger than Homer Simpson!

We are watching the slow decline of a country [The USA] and the destruction of a great civilization [the West].

_iwanttodofunnyshit_ · 2019-09-01T02:17:08+00:00

Oily Vagina Rating:

7/10

Contributing factors: • Naturally oily individual • Infrequent showers • Crotch perma-baked by heat radiating off of tremendous thighs and Bigfoot flapjack asscheeks

Castlehill650 · 2019-09-04T02:06:08+00:00

Straight up DAIPER BOOTY

Damballah_Weddo · 2019-09-05T14:58:38+00:00

- mommy of two little boys

- Christian

lmao wtf?!

Title	A devout 'Christian'
Author	geronimo11b
Upvotes	94
Comments	54
Date	August 29, 2019 12:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/cwthr7/a_devout_christian/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/a-devout-christian.344407 https://theredarchive.com/post/344407

Comments

BUT HEY, HERE'S MY ASS AND AN IMPLIED PROMISE OF FIRST DATE SEX!!! CHRISTIAN!!!

7/10