So I thought I'd take a stab at analyzing this mess of a relationship

TLDR: He used to be alpha, become beta over the course of the relationship. Lost everything.

They met when he was 31 and she was 28 (nearing the wall). They slept on the first date, and rushed into marriage due to an unexpected pregnancy. A little cliche but let's continue.

It all started when she went through my Facebook one day and saw a message I had from another girl when we started dating (a girl that I was pursuing during my dating days but not anymore so we became friends girl).The message said "Isn't she kinda big? (sorry)"...just like that. She even apologized for saying that. I responded with "Yea but just in the stomach, and that can be worked on." Something like that. I may have put a "lol" in there but I don't remember exactly

The other girl was clearly testing the waters. Drawing from this, it seems like this dude was an alpha in the earlier stages of the relationship.

She was upset for a while. I even deleted and blocked the girl and gave her complete access to my Facebook too so she would know that shes the only woman in my life. (I know I'm a pussy, I folded...I really do love her)

I think you guys can tell it's only going to go downhill from here.

Well it turns out she never got over that. Now she has to be complimented a lot more and I am not the type to be like that. ... I told her I want to do better with that and have been trying to be better ever since but it's just not enough.

You just raised the baseline of performance, and anything less is just an insult to her. You lost frame and now you're just a pushover.

She is now quick to anger and she works later than me and is the breadwinner as a salon owner so she like, comes home and wants dinner made and house clean. I get home a couple hours earlier so I have to have dinner made and stuff. She gets mad when the house is a mess or dinner is not made or some other trivial bullshit and now I'm like a dam housewife and I work full time too? WTF?!

The baseline has been raised so far that you're struggling to stay afloat. You've gone full beta and lost any semblance of power in the relationship.

Anyway, when the baby was born, my father offered us a substantial sum of money so we could put it down on a house with the condition that he could live with us for a couple years and help raise my daughter and help redo some things with the house. He wanted to do it and we could use the help so we accepted.

Enter dad.

Well it turns out my dad and my wife simply do not get along at all. She asked him to hang up a fan in the patio one day and he said NO. They had an argument and she has had a seething hatred for him ever since, refuses to talk to him and completely ignores him.

Mah nigga.

Now my dad thinks she is a total bitch and doesn't want anything to do with her either and thinks I made a big mistake by marrying her and buying this house.

No shit. Too bad your son doesn't have your spine.

We have only been in the house for a year and she is expecting all these things to be done and its a lot to plan for and very expensive.

You're drowning just to keep her happy. Why?

She wants him out and she says that he is ruining our marriage and I need to stop defending him. I have been fighting her tooth and nail for the last 10 months on it. He's my father and I don't want him out on the street parking his camper in parking lots and moving around all the time.

You've got some loyalty in you, I'll give you that.

I am really too nice to a fault and I give her a lot of freedom because I just want her to be happy but she has taken advantage of that.

You give her an inch, and then she bends you over and gives you ten.

She has a lot of friends and I really don't anymore since we had the baby all my energy is focused on her and the baby I don't get much time to myself so when I do I sometimes drift off and zone out. She started going out more and hanging out at bars and drinking with her friends and I didn't mind because it gives me some time to play video games and browse reddit. She started staying out later and later then she started just not coming home at all.

Red flags and beta lapse in one paragraph.

She finally decided to tell me that she needed some space about a month ago so she supposedly started staying at her friends house. She would come home occasionally to shower and pick up clothes. I would have my daughter every night by myself at this point.

Danger. Danger.

She demanded that I kick my dad out of the house before she returns which I reluctantly agreed to so I can save my marriage.

Never mind, you don't even have loyalty.

During her time away she had been acting very strange. When I did see her she would hide her phone from me, changed her password, and refused to let me see her phone,walking away to take phone calls, and bring her whole purse with phone into the bathroom every time she takes a shit or a shower. We used to be very open with nothing to hide. I let her see my phone and she used to let me use hers. She also deleted her Facebook which is something she was obsessed with.

Yeah she's cheating on you. Also shows how much she used to care in the relationship to delete her Facebook.

We also had a talk and she basically confessed she has no feelings for me anymore and we should start thinking about separating. This coming from a woman that got a tattoo of our initials on her because she loves me so much and is desperate for my undivided attention.

From alpha to full blown beta.

(The Alpha Convict) Apparently he got thrown in jail like a week or so ago. She has been secretly sending him money and he has been calling her on the phone daily. I looked at the pictures on the phone of them together and he has his initials tattooed on his arm. I put the pieces together and got his full name and arrest record from public record. Hes a fucking criminal hes been in jail 4 times in the past 3 years.

I guess girls do have a thing for bad boys.

He has her brainwashed

Look at how far this guy has sank. He has her brainwashed are you insane? You still think she's your princess and he tricked her? The only brainwashed one here is you.

She thinks I'm some dummy that is just gonna let her walk all over me.

Well you haven't shown any evidence to the contrary during this whole story.

Ideally I want to have my family back and I want my wife to get the help she needs to deal with her emotions and instability. I already have us set up for marriage counseling but I think she needs more help than that.

She doesn't need any help to realize she doesn't want you anymore.

Key Takeaways

A lot of obvious stuff but I'll just point it out again.

  • Hold frame, don't back down.
  • Recognize red flags.
  • Don't relapse into beta, or you'll lose everything you've worked so hard for. He lost his friends, his relationship, and in the end, his wife.