BACKGROUND

5 months ago I wrote an FR about my first time seeing my ex again after I broke up with her more than a year ago. While TRP doesn't generally condone seeing your ex from before your RP days, it can be a good learning experience, assuming you left the right impression. OmLaLa covered these impressions well. I didn't speak to her for 5 months after that day, until I was in town this week for winter break. The main difference between this FR and the last: this time she has a boyfriend.

BODY

After months of no contact, I texted my ex that she needed to cancel some insurance because I had moved out (I didn't realize it was in her name until I tried to cancel it. Always put things in your name Don't cohabitante). She obliged, and I thought that was the end of the story, as I had heard she had a boyfriend so I didn't want to waste my time with her.

A few days later, she texts me again:

Her: Are you seeing anyone? And how long are you here for?

Me: Jan 3

Her: Can I text you tomorrow

Me: ?

Her: I'd like to see you. Just say yes or no. So I'm waiting on an answer.

She then asked me to email her instead. A buddy had already told me she had a boyfriend so I knew exactly why she was being so secretive. But since she knows I don't do social media, she wouldn't have known whether or not I knew. I decided to see how far I could push it for two reasons:

1. I wanted to cement AWALT in my mind. If she cheated with me, she probably cheated on me or would have, and any other woman would too. Girls have cheated with me before, but this was different. At one point I saw a future with this girl, I had to know.

2. I did it for the FR. You're welcome.

I didn't email her and she texted me again the next day. I told her when I was free and we agreed to meet at her place and go for coffee. It was pretty obvious to me that there wouldn't need to be coffee, but I was giving her plausible deniability. She had expressed an interest, it was up to me to make things happen while leaving her a way out.

I arrived at her place and we went inside. I asked her for a tour of her new place and then we sat down on her bed. I genuinely had the douchebag turned all the way up. It's easy to push the boundaries when you really don't give a fuck - an ex makes that really easy assuming you're living in abundance. I kept on my phone and she was complaining that I wasn't giving her attention. This went on with teasing and touching for a while. Little, obvious things like holding her hand to see her ring, looking at the bracelet she was wearing that I gave her years ago. She was visibly nervous and kept getting up. The only logical next step was to kiss her, so I did and she was receptive. I pulled away mid-kiss and said she'd had enough.

Her: Why did you do that?

Me: I wanted to.

Her: Is that the only reason you came today?

I ignored her and played with my phone. She asked me if I only wanted her physically or if I really cared for her.

Me: The first one

Her: Well, that wasn't why I invited you here today

Me: Why did you invite me here?

Her: I wanted to see you

Then she finally mentioned her boyfriend. Obviously he didn't know I was there and wouldn't have been okay with it, even if nothing would happen. Then after some more pointless conversation..

Me: I should go then

Her: You're gonna leave because you're not getting laid?

I stood up, still on my phone

Me: Should I walk myself out or will you?

I motioned toward the door

She stared at me

Her: Kiss me

This shit doesn't even read right, but that's exactly what happened. It was her hail mary attempt. She broke... I made my way back to the bed, and I'll leave you to imagine the rest.

Afterwards I showered with her boyfriend's bodywash (I know, I know) and then I sat on her bed listening to her hamster her way out of what happened. I'm going to tell you straight TRP, it took her 5 seconds. "I don't even feel bad, people always end relationships without even knowing who cheated" That was it. That's what this guy was worth - 5 seconds of spinning.

I took her out for a ride on my bike, and bought us some tea. We caught up on our lives a bit, and I did my best to make her comfortable with what happened. She said it was a shame we weren't still friends. I said we are and she complained that I never text her i.e. validate her. I said I only buy tea for my friends.

Her: Do you have sex with your friends too?

Me: Don't worry, you have your own special place (she was my first and I always make fun of how proud she is of it)

Her: That's the first time you've made me feel special today

We rode back, and then I was on my way.

ANALYSIS

As far as I can tell, what happened today was a trade in the SMP. My coin was validation, hers was sex. When she invited me over, what she wanted was the most of my coin for as little of hers as possible, since she perceives me as high value, so my validation is worth a lot. She probably would have been okay talking to me and feeling things that she doesn't usually feel with her boyfriend. But since my currency is worth so much to her, I couldn't just give it away for free. This is why I was on my phone, this is why I told her I would leave, and this why in the end I got what I went there for. And so did she, because after she gave me what I wanted, I reciprocated.

Now I think at this point, she has ruled out attaining my commitment. In her eyes, I'm unattainable and my validation is good enough. She was more than happy to keep her other guy while going on a joy ride with me.

EDIT: As bsutansalt has pointed out, this may have been an attempt at a baby trap. Which would be her hail mary attempt at getting commitment, not validation.

LESSONS LEARNED

-One of the few women I hoped would not cheat did so with little no guilt

-For fucks sake AWALT.

-Increasing SMV and scarcity both increase the value of your currency - validation

-Never LTR an alpha widow

-Did I mention AWALT?