So last week I'm out at a 4th of July town celebration at a local public park with my daughter. I'm just minding my own business as she dances around and blows bubbles. I notice this cute girl with a toddler aged boy starting to hang around us, and she strikes up conversation with me. She's a bit flirty and friendly but don't really think much of it. A little while later she says "would you like to hang out sometime?". I still casually date from time to time, so I say "sure".

A couple of nights later after very casual texting, we go grab a drink. She shows up and looks really good. We have nice conversation and some chemistry. However, before long, the conversation turns to how she got knocked up by a guy who bailed on her when he found out she was pregnant. And how she believes in marriage, wants a guy to go to church with on Sunday morning, and to be a good role model for her kid. At some point in the conversation she said she was drawn to me because I appeared to be a good father to my daughter. I connect the dots that she's likely living with a family member currently. I tell her I'm not sure I want to get married again. She was shocked to find out I wasn't going to ask her out when we met, and the only reason we were hanging out was because she asked me out. So anyway, it was a good enough time, had some nice making out, and we agree to hang out again sometime.

As texting moves into the next few days, a lot of the conversations are about how she spends a lot of her weekends with her family, and I say I generally spend time alone and enjoy doing my thing as I don't have a lot of family in the area. She makes some references to her sisters boyfriend cooking dinner for them. I try to change the subject, but notice her start getting a bit distant in nature.

So in processing all this, it hits me. This is EVERYTHING you guys talk about on here summed up in a seemingly simple and harmless transaction with a female over a couple of days. This girl got knocked up by a Chad and now wants a good guy to support her and her kid. She wants the family man to take them on and spend time with her and her family on weekends. She didn't seem at all interested in my single life/hobbies. Then I remembered back to the date when I mentioned some stuff I had been through lately, she kind of blew it off and changed the subject.

I should have seen right through it on date 1. She was basically putting it all out there. Bringing up marriage, having a good role model for her kid, then testing me with the texts about how she spends time with family on the weekends. Instead of me responding with taking an interest in her family weekends and enjoying stuff like that, I responded with how I like my quiet time. She's looking for a simp, and between my answers on the date and in text, she realized that I'm not one and started pulling away.

2 years ago when I was blind, I would have pursued a girl like this and had it inevitably end in disappointment. Now questions like this pop into my mind:

- So if I date this girl I'm going to be expected to eventually give up my weekend time for her and her family, and likely my resources for her and someone else's kid. I will have to likely sacrifice some of my own financial goals and hobbies in exchange for this. What do I get in return besides a cute girl on my arm and some sex?

- Before she had the kid with Chad, would she have even given me the time of day? I'm tall and a good enough looking guy, but I'm thinking no chance.

I'm not saying she's a bad person by any means, and I don't hate women. But it's amazing how reading these forums has opened my eyes to these situations, and probably saved me a ton of time, trouble, and money.