This is both for myself and for you guys. I will tell you about my horrific marriage that nearly destroyed me. I survived though and I’m not going through that shit again. I hope this will be cautionary tale for anyone reading it. It was a 9.5 year marriage (I’m not rounding up to ten because that is an important point) so I will just give the highlights.

she came on to me. And she was aggressive. She was very attractive and I was in a slump. It felt good to be desired and I fell for it. She knew I was a med student but assured me that as a civil engineer she would help.

she fucked without a condom. Told me she was on the pill. She wasn’t. Got knocked up and guilt tripped me into marrying her.

While she was pregnant she would engage in property damage. Throwing things around the room and the like. One time she picked up a lamp and hit me in the face. I was bleeding all over the place. I needed five stitches on my eye lid. I told the ER doctor I fell down and she looked at me like she knew I was lying but didn’t ask anymore questions.

remember how I was in medical school? I’m now a new father and a medical student and I could use some help in the parenting side. She says she recovering from her delivery. Says this for 1 full year while “recovering” in bed watching DVDs. So I’m stuck studying to be a doctor while basically being a single father.

remember that she was a civil engineer? Once we got married she just stopped working. Didn’t look for a new job or contribute at all. I had to take out more loans for her and my son. This however turned out to be a blessing disguise.

My daughter was born during my first year as a resident. When she turned one my wife took both my kids to visit their grandparents in Taiwan. Then she threatened to stay there indefinitely. I had to call the US consulate and threaten to take them back with force before scaring her back Stateside.

Daily life was me going to work and she sent the kids to daycare while she watched TV. After coming from work I made dinner and fed the kids and did the nightly routine. Her reasoning: she watched the kids all day so she wanted a break. Despite the fact they were in daycare.....

I become a full fledged attending doctor and felt things would get easier. I was now doing things for her not for sex but to just keep her off my back. I was not in love, in fact I wished she would take up a paramour so she’d leave me alone. This includes buying her two houses and giving her access to my business accounts.

My daughter is diagnosed with autism. I look up speech, behavioral and occupational therapies to enroll her into. And right before it starts my ex decides to start a part time job making $9/hour. Not even enough to pay for daycare much less all the therapy out little girl will need. Suddenly when caring for a special needs child will require more effort from her decides to escape by getting a job.

She gets into a big fight with me because the picture she asked me to take wasn’t Facebook perfect. She is yelling and screaming and I decide to take the kids out for ice cream rather than have them witness this. She throws things as usual, one of them being a Kindle which shatters. She stands behind the car so we can’t leave. I make the mistake of moving her so we can back out.

She reports me to CPS for “abusing her”. Case worker comes in to interview me and the kids. I tell her what happened. Then she interviews my son and tells the case worker about his mother throwing a Kindle at me and then even shows her the shattered Kindle. God bless my son. He literally saved me.

Right after the case worker leaves I tell my kids I love them, pack some clothes and check into a hotel. I contact my lawyer and serve her papers.

That isn’t the end of course. She drained all my accounts the very next day. During court I discover that she had been pilfering money from my business account for years into her own and used that money to pay for the condominium. This way she could claim that property as completely hers since it was not using joint funds. So I lost one house outright.

The rest isn’t all that interesting. Just expensive. She tried to claim half of my all my future income claiming she helped pay for education. Luckily she wasn’t working at all and had zero proof.

I consider myself lucky. My son prefers me, and knows that once he turns 14 he can live with me full time. Not surprising since I basically raised him myself. My marriage was less than ten years so I am only obligated to pay alimony for 5 years.

tl;dr I know first hand how bad things can get. I have had it all happen to me. From domestic abuse, to false accusations, to neglect, to financial plundering and even kidnapping. Could it have been worse? Maybe but why take that risk?