I thought I was ready...

SkorchZang · 2017-06-03T00:09:51+00:00

I think about her pretty much every second of every day.

Make sure you don't let yourself feel like you're Patient Zero in the deadliest outbreak of woman problems since Eve fucked up Adam's sweet free rent deal with God, over an apple, and got them both kicked out of paradise. This is the normal feeling to feel in the situation, every part of it is yours to feel and own as a man. The feeling gets to be overwhelming only if you forget that it is simply a feeling in the body, it isn't you. It's a variety of tummy ache, literally. It's there for very good evolutionary reasons (making sure you reproduce). So your body and primal mind are in full agreement there, the dumbass is leaving the one easily accessible vagina he was able to get, who knows if he'll ever be able to find more; let's give him as much pain as possible, tummy ache him into submission and make sure he doesn't fuck this up, and does actually reproduce while he still can... Because tomorrow might be sabretooth tiger's lucky day.

Think of the millions of billions of men, half-beasts, and cute yet dangerous pygmie monkeythings who felt the exact same thing, went on the same exact ride as you. You're truly in good company fellow hominid, no homo. If you don't let the self-pity clown your vision: "oh what a uniquely broken snowflake I am". Nope, not unique at all, and that's a huge relief if you think it over. Relax, it seems like a terrible chapter now, but in reality everything's going according to plan.

The plan was never about you finding "The One" and then being happily ever after stuck with her. There are many, many Ones out there for you. All can be potentially had, and most are very enjoyable. It's just that they all come with an expiry date, and you were never prepared for this reality. You think it's your fault the milk has gone bad. Being way too hard on yourself there, for no good reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlHsOmTPqaI

ferrarifan · 2017-06-03T03:43:16+00:00

Are you me? In my case, what hurt the most is that I always considered myself somewhat "redpilled". Disciplined, fit, didn't care for other people's approval, put myself on a pedestal, and most of all, I had abundance mentality.

Yet, my first serious girlfriend left me fucking devastated and humiliated when she dumped me, twice. I never thought I'd let myself reach such a low point in my life because of someone else.

Most of the girls I got with before her had approached me too, and you're right, it is a problem. I knew how to respond when a woman had interest in me, but I had zero experience with generating interest/attraction from scratch. And that only made me feel like more of a loser. I was involuntarily single, she was out and about getting it with other dudes and I was at home crying and jerking off. I felt like it was a game I was bound to lose, because I couldn't do shit.

The truth is, you can't win them all. Sometimes you get too emotionally invested and shit happens. Up until that point I had a solid track record with women, friends, and life in general. Fuck, I think I rejected more women than I got with.

It took months to recover after she came into my life, but I eventually did. Just keep working out, stop using social media, and do not (I can't stress this enough) compare yourself to others while you are recovering. Assume the worst and run with that, you'll become desensitized to it. Eventually you'll take back control of your life.

The first heartbreak is always the hardest and most eye-opening one.

ChristianRedpill · 2017-06-03T03:50:46+00:00

She chose the CC, you dodged a bullet. Consider her dead. One day you'll look back and laugh. Takes time.

Mangoinhand · 2017-06-03T00:54:07+00:00

Use paragraphs. Very hard to read

gatstrap · 2017-06-03T01:55:12+00:00

I'm going through the same thing and I'm 5 years older than you. found one I really wanted to keep after being lonely for a while. also fairly introverted. It's been a month since she left and she's made no attempt of contact. I've seen her on plenty of fish. but I feel a lot better than I did the first 2 weeks. before her I never cried. I cried like 20 times since we broke up.

It's just a biological process as shitty as that is to hear. your brain has to recover from focusing on that person. all the red pill alpha bros will tell you there's something wrong with your mentality and the only truth to that is allowing yourself to get hooked in. once you're there you cannot help it and you have to face the withdrawals alone. no advice can fix you. you will ruminate over it until your brain has built a wall between you two. just let it happen. It's been like 32 days since my breakup and 17 or 18 since I sent a long beta text to her that she didn't reply to. believe me it gets way more tolerable. I still think of her constantly but i'm no longer in anguish

SoulRedemption · 2017-06-03T05:14:51+00:00

There are several people who have reached out saying that they are or were going through the same thing. One has said it gets better - this is more true than anything else.

Remember, you alone have the choice of being in this state after the natural course has taken place. Which means, if you choose, you will never get over her, because you hold onto all those memories anf emotions which has left a hole. In the end, the choice will be yours, if to fill that hole up or keep it there.

User_7441 · 2017-06-03T05:54:44+00:00

"Since I have found it I have began working out and have an above average body, I am pursuing a software engineering degree, and I try to constantly be busy and doing something."

Great. Keep it up. Keep improving. Your SMV will improve while hers will decline.

"She said that we aren't right for each other right now. She likes to party 5 nights a week, she doesn't really have any motivation to make her future self happy, it is all about the now for her."

Translated: "I want to ride the CC as long as I can because I'm still young and pretty."

"I think about her pretty much every second of every day."

Stop this train of though. You have the oneitis and you've put her on a pedestal. AWALT. There are other females out there. Maintain abundance mentality.

"If I am not crying about losing this girl, than I am crying because of what lies ahead in the future."

The future is good. Keep improving yourself. Keep lifting, keep studying, get that awesome job. Every single year there will be a new batch of females to date. Don't get stuck on one female.

"I see so many lonely dudes on reddit talking about suicide and how they just want someone to be with, and I am scared shitless that I am going to be one of those guys."

You need to be happy with yourself, before you can attract the type of female you want or chase the female you want. Re-read the sidebar and get out of this rut.

AnonymousAndLovinIt · 2017-06-03T08:12:53+00:00

A relationship ending after 7 years can be tough. I hope you get through fine. Just push through, and you'll make it.

And remember, when people said there were a lot of fish in the sea; they weren't kidding. You'll find out soon enough and you'll find those who will overshadow your ex.

Alexinfinite01 · 2017-06-03T10:34:11+00:00

It sounds like you're on the right track for the most part. You're just a moment to have a pity party. Sometimes that's ok but just keep doing like you said: keep getting better. You will gain so much more satisfaction with your self improvement than with any woman

If there is any salvation to be had, it will come from within, not from outside

MisterRoid · 2017-06-04T11:05:18+00:00

Try to look at it from the bright side: You got to stick your wiener into her for a few years.

throwawaynoobye · 2017-06-03T14:12:53+00:00

orbits a girl for several years before dating her
said girl is an immature party girl
he still thinks he is smart

be glad she didnt get pregnant.

GoRedBad · 2017-06-12T13:48:26+00:00

You're very young, you just found the red pill, and you've also had your heart broken. Congratulations, you are already ahead of most people. In time you'll understand how important this experience was to your success as a man. Adversity builds strength.

blueapartment · 2017-07-24T20:38:36+00:00

Hey man, just wanted to drop in and say you're not alone. I'm 23 years old and have been in long term relationships pretty much the entire time since I was 17.

At this moment, I'm post break-up with beautiful mess #3 for about one month. Still think about her a lot, but its getting better and I know the only reason I'm making it through is from my past experiences. The girl before her was not nearly has pretty and cool as the most recent one, but honestly I am handling the ending way better than I did before where I was an absolute wreck. I've realized a LOT about myself through these relationships, which eventually brought me back to TRP where I am learning to successfully implement my knowledge in future relationships and with women in general. On top of that, I’m going to stay out of LTRs for at least two years to work on myself and have fun. You should definitely consider doing the same.

About getting over a break-up:

Hang out with friends as much as you can. Don't worry about them reaching out to you. Just make plans with people you like and have fun. Don't make it all about them helping you get over your girlfriend. Use your best mates to talk about your feelings if you need to, but for the most part just go out and talk to people.
STAY OFF of her social media pages. Delete all of your texts with her and pictures of her. I’m serious dude this is the most dangerous part that holds you back from getting over her. DO NOT jack off to her. I would recommend not watching porn at all for at least a month to build up your testosterone, confidence, and motivation, but if you HAVE to, do it while fantasizing about another girl you know or a pornstar with body you like better.
Write down all the things you don't like about her. Your dumb fucking penis is making you forget them. Write them down on a piece of paper and read them 10 times over. Write a list of qualities she didn't have that your ideal woman to have. Read that 10 times over (Btw: Going out 5 times a week? Honestly thats terrible and I feel bad for whoever has to deal with her shit next. Definitely not even LTR material and you can do better)
Consider seeing a therapist. I know, I know. You might think therapy is for people who are “broken” or “fucked up” and going to one will only confirm your belief that you’re fucked up, too. The truth is, you’re not fucked up at all and the problems you’re dealing with are not uncommon. You need to think of it like life counseling, and through that you will establish a strong relationship and safety net if it is with someone you trust. This is especially important if you do not have a super solid emotional connection with your parents, which is also what may have lead to some codependent traits (white knighting, captain save-a-ho) like it did for me.
Using your newfound red pill knowledge, write down things that you did WRONG in this relationship that you will do RIGHT in the next one. The lessons I learned from my mistakes are SO important. Running covert level 4 dread is necessary to maintain a satisfying relationship with a beautiful girl. Amused mastery is a priceless tool. Keep an abundance mentality. I could go on. Etc., etc. etc.
Work out all the time! Seriously, lifting heavy things and running gives you all that dopamine and serotonin your brain craves. Which is basically the only reason you crave your ex right now. Its not because she was “The One” (she fucking wasn’t). Make a habit out of things to keep up your self esteem like complimenting yourself everytime you look in the mirror and flattering yourself for being a boss every time you do something productive.
Meet girls! Trust me, I don’t really like one night stands either. I prefer having sex with someone I know and who knows me. But the thing is, you didn’t know this bitch until you met her and she actually sucks more than girls you don't know. You have seriously only met .00001% of the population of women on this planet. You don’t have to go out to clubs trying to be a thrill-of-the-hunt pick up artist, but meet and talk to girls. If you end up fucking one of them, great! Sex is good and I’m sure there are going to be at least a few qualities you appreciate about it that you didn’t get with your ex. If you end up finding a friend who isn’t that attractive to you, great! She can introduce you to more girls and expand your social circle.

Anyways, you’re 20. That means if you want to have kids (which should really be the only reason you would consider getting married) you have about 15 YEARS of working on your self, your body, your career, your knowledge, etc. to put you at a higher SMV than where you are now by the time it would make sense to have locked down a much better girl who is 5-7 years younger than her who doesn’t drink like a pig and act completely selfish. 15 fucking years. You seem like a smart, good looking, and quality dude. I have high hopes for you. For her? Her value is only going to gradually deteriorate. Period.

I really wish I had this advice when I was losing my fucking mind over a girl who I don’t even think about at all anymore and I have dated much hotter and cooler girls since. Hope this helps.

Title	I thought I was ready...
Author	bigub
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	June 2, 2017 11:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6exyi5/i_thought_i_was_ready/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-thought-i-was-ready.43700 https://theredarchive.com/post/43700

Comments

Hey man, just wanted to drop in and say you're not alone. I'm 23 years old and have been in long term relationships pretty much the entire time since I was 17.