The Pill has me conflicted AF

littleblacktruck · 2017-07-17T01:13:05+00:00

Don't sweat it, kid. When you get into your early 40's like me, you'll look back and realize the best moments of your life had very little to do with what girl you were railing and everything to do with your state of mind at that time. It's all about you. Read Marcus Aurelius and No More Mr Nice Guy. Lift. Earn bucks. Find a hobby and dominate life or it will dominate you.

20119975 · 2017-07-17T01:00:32+00:00

Seriously. At some point during my blue pill life, I was the happiest I've ever been. My girl was treating me with a lot of affection, doing intimate things, everything was special and my life I felt was perfect. Obviously that was all an illusion and I learned the reality of it, that I'm expendable and that it didn't matter who it was. I had to reevaulate myself and my whole outlook on life. I had to change who I was, and how I viewed things, and how I wanted my life to go . I sometimes almost feel that ignorance is bliss and there'a almost no winning (depending on what you want), but it's better to be Chad than not Chad.

THE_StrongBoy · 2017-07-17T05:17:25+00:00

I would say that it takes a lot of time, maybe at minimum 2 years to really TRULY, internalize and become at peace again with the world.

The biggest problem that humanity faces is instinct vs intellect, and its slapping you in the face naked right now.

The fact of the matter is that we are just highly evolved bacteria and everything we do is dictated by brain chemicals. I was super horny 10 minutes ago and was thinking about hitting up my slam hog for a quick nut, jerked off, and now I could care less.

Once you accept the realities of life and come to terms, improve yourself and create a great life, you can let it all fade into the background.

IOI's that trigger your blue pill PTSD and make you uncomfortably aware of the cold reality of the world become IOI's of a cute girl who wants to have fun with you.

I can GUARANTEE that if you lift and improve your charisma, create a high value social circle and develop cool and fun hobbies you enjoy, you'll forget all this pain and live a life of bliss.

The one thing though, is never forget the red pill. Betas are used for resources and discarded like empty husks, natural alphas slowly become whipped, turn blue and get cucked by other chads.

You have the opportunity to become a red pill alpha. Someone who can never be taken advantage of in ways that you don't allow. Someone who can see the world at a deeper, truer level, and thus gain power over it. The price you pay is to be doused in the ice water of reality, and to never be able to enjoy the company of a girl in the way a natural alpha does, though gaining control of a woman's agency could be better than that ignorant love.

Ultimately, the human mind is the most powerful force in the world. Look at some of the stuff people can do. Theres some guy who can climb mountains in his underwear, and hang indefinitely from his fingertips. If you channel your will you can really achieve a happy and fulfilling life.

So use your mind right now and start releasing your anger and unhappiness at the state of the world.

Read the sidebar, read rollos blog, read it all again until you start really GETTTING it, lift until you get jacked, find some hobbies you enjoy

get back to us in a year when you're slamming beautiful women and on top of the world instead of bitching to us

Thotwrecker · 2017-07-17T07:40:22+00:00

Red Pill hasn't left you conflicted. You are conflicted because you have no fucking idea what you want to do with yourself and your life, and you don't know what's important to you.

For me, learning this skillset and conquering this territory was everything to me. From 17 - 23 or so, all I cared about was coming out on top and winning this stupid social game. Money, status, girls, game, social skills, value signalling, etc.

This brought me a lot of happiness and it didn't leave me as a bitter cynical fuck. The pussy felt like scoring a touchdown, I never got all jaded and depressed like "boo hoo, these girls only want me because of my value they don't really like me". Or worse, I never got like these "you can never really enjoy sex like you can in your teens, it'll never be the same as being the cool chad all the girls like" faggots on here.

Why? Because I had a goal and while you may think it was shallow, I found it deep and challenging. I found that it demanded that I reorder my life and build a completely different person. The triumph of achieving something like that was meaningful.

The individual girls? Sure most sucked and the rare chick had some actual enjoyable personality. Some were raging sluts, like beyond anything I had ever thought possible, but they were sluts that previously never would have fucked me. That feeling isn't fake - the feeling of becoming a person of abundance, a person who actually attracts people by virtue of who he is.

You don't have this goal. Fine. But you have to have SOME kind of goal that gives you purpose. Maybe it's to make 10m dollars. Maybe it's to travel the world fucking hookers like a sex tourist. I don't really give a shit if it's a good goal or a bad goal, it has to be a mission that delivers meaning to you. You have to have to reason to do this shit - otherwise let's be honest, you'll spend all your time on reddit talking about how girls in university are dumb cunts ... while you're jacking off wishing you were balls deep in those very same cunts. See how that works?

This is why I will never respect MGTOWs who deep down do desperately want the pussy. If you genuinely don't want anything to do with bitches, fine, I respect that. But if deep down you crave sexual options and you want to be a factor in the sexual marketplace, but you don't actually do it because it's too hard or women are too low quality, or whatever your rationalization is, then how can you respect yourself? A man has to go after what he wants; he has to know what he wants and conquer the obstacles on the way to getting it.

And then when you do that, I think you will find women aren't so bad. Women can pick up of guys that are judgmental / negative / beta / unattractive. They behave differently and they treat you a lot worse. If you become high value, they treat you better and you see a prettier side of them. Women are nurturing and they are caring and sweet, they just reserve that side for an alpha who dominates them. You just don't see that side of her because you're not quite there yet. They don't stop being hypergamous little hamsters, but they'll joke with you, tease you, go out of their way for you, drive you around, cook you meals, do your laundry, whatever you want if you're alpha enough.

Everything seems shitty from your vantage point. Climb up to a higher point and you'll see the landscape is actually not too bad. Think about it this way - beta bob knows his bored wife as a nagging, bitching homebody who doesn't work and just orders him around. The alpha dick she rides on the side however knows her as a sweet, sultry woman who's sexually enthusiastic and adventurous, and goes the extra mile to please him. Hell, he sees a woman who will throw away everything for him - her marriage, her kids, her financial security, etc, because she wants to give everything to him. She's polite to him, she doesn't talk back, she greets him in lingerie and makeup she spent hours assembling, in a body she's taking to the gym just for him, etc. Never forget that - if women are shitty around you, then you are shit. If you improve, they treat you better and they don't seem so shitty.

seaguy87 · 2017-07-17T04:34:31+00:00

There is nothing to be conflicted about.

TRP teaches you about reality. You can navigate life with the correct perception and knowledge now.
TRP shows you how you can improve yourself physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually, which makes you more satisfied with life, and more attractive.
TRP shows you how to properly vet and sustain LTRs if that's what you're looking.
TRP shows you how you can plate women if that's what you're looking for.

Yes, a lot of people are fake, but it's not all fake. There are those who are unplugged. There are sane ones. Good relationships with men and women are hard to find. No one is forcing you to sustain shitty, draining relationships with others.

There are women worth being with if you advertise yourself correctly and take charge of relationships correctly.

It's not all doom and gloom. And you're only 21!

gardenofbacchus · 2017-07-17T06:11:23+00:00

There's no going back. You're here forever.

I'm slightly older than you (25) and I've already seen enough for an entire life time. I'm at the "bottom" of the red-pill, probably stepping foot into the murky territory of whatever comes next.

"I want girls but I want nothing to do with them" basically summarizes my mindset from 19 onwards. Women are an alien species that you will never, ever truly be happy or content with. It's impossible. The biology that keeps us sexually attracted to women is the same biology that ensures our life experiences are diametrically opposed and in that sense, a woman is a literal alien to a man.

You'll come to see TRP is a gold mine and is crucial, but at the end of the day it's still a form of coping. We can't change the way women are. We've been lied to about their nature, and now we know the truth, but that doesn't give us any more inherent power - the realization is that we just have to live with this knowledge and use it to make the most suitable decisions for our own lives. We can't control women, we can't control hypergamy - it ultimately controls us.

We're slaves to our biology, and TRP is a way of coming to terms with how to deal with this. It's better to be completely cognizant of this than naive and unaware, as shit as it feels right now.

I don't know what else to tell you because what you're feeling is completely normal, natural and expected if you've properly digested the pill. Only you yourself are capable of taking the information you have and new found outlook on the world and applying it to your life in a constructive way, or whatever way you feel is natural given the gravity of how life-altering this information is.

TheStumblingWolf · 2017-07-17T08:13:28+00:00

Even when girls give me IOIs, i feel happy for a second then i think "lol im just at the right place right time, she'd do the exact same if some guy walked in right now that's taller than me or has a more chiseled jaw line"

Everybody's having free lunch, but you're like "nah, they'll give free food to anyone". Might as well join the feast and get a little something for yourself. Put yourself first.

MattyAnon · 2017-07-17T15:58:53+00:00

i just wanna be left alone seeing that every interaction with everyone has a underlying motive.

Yes, but the motives aren't always bad or against your best interests. Look for mutual benefit. People genuinely want friends (well, men do) and good interactions and even mutual support.

It seems that "real friends" and relationships are few and far between.

this is true.

Even when girls give me IOIs, i feel happy for a second then i think "lol im just at the right place right time, she'd do the exact same if some guy walked in right now that's taller than me or has a more chiseled jaw line" Its all fucking fake.

It's not fake, it's attraction. She's attracted to you or someone else, you are attracted to her or someone else. What it isn't is a deep soulmate "she'd die for me" connection.

Women are not the innocent creatures i was brought up to believe.

The pain is the loss of the dream, not the harshness of reality.

You have been saved from believing a lie and living a life in which you pay everything and get nothing but a lie back. The pain is the loss of the dream, because you've not LOST anything. All you've really lost is delusion.

all i can think of is her being the subject of some sex story authored by a Chad on here

Right. So be Chad. Your unicorn fantasy is over.

but there are still blue pill parts of me that want the "innocent girl, who is only mine".

Give this up.

"are you really gonna live your life alone and without others"

Of course you don't need to be alone. Friendship is rare but real. You can even have girls. Just be realistic about their nature.

max_peenor · 2017-07-17T16:58:29+00:00

Its all fucking fake.

It's not fake. It's just your turn, however brief. It's ok to take your turn.

plein_old · 2017-07-17T05:05:14+00:00

"Innocent girls" are the ones who were not damaged by weak men, or weak parents.

Do you even really deserve an innocent girl? You can't control other people, you can't necessarily control who you meet in life, but you can control your own choices.

Of course, some people will say there's really no such thing as innocent girls, or at least, they only exist if they have strong fathers and strong husbands. So the question you might ask yourself is where do you fit into that picture?

If you don't fit into that picture, then you really do live in a world with no innocent girls.

randomassortment_ · 2017-07-17T05:26:36+00:00

Hey, I get you, we've all been there. But if you stay holed up, all this red pill knowledge is worthless. It's one thing reading it, but it's completely another to actually experience it and react accordingly. So go out and get those reference experiences so you're better in social interaction. It's like video games, so far you've only read the manual, but you can't go and say you've played the game, and you'd probably still suck at it, if it's your first time playing, no matter how many strategy guides you've read

Lateralanouncer · 2017-07-17T09:27:23+00:00

You don't know how lucky you are to have received the truth. Check out this video

https://youtu.be/bW41NPuYrds

0kool74 · 2017-07-17T13:07:09+00:00

The Red Pill is a really brutal, toxic combination of chemotherapy and radiation to save you from the insidious and fascist cancer that is the "Blue Pill Life Script." As such, it can aid you in recovering, but it totally trashes you in the process. But, it does beat the alternative. Just look at Thomas James Ball and Travis Alexander.

OvermanInTheMaking99 · 2017-07-18T11:12:15+00:00

It sounds like you're lamenting your loss of innocence, which is fine for a few weeks or a month but now's the time to start getting real.

Yes, all of your life has been spent living in an illusory world of other people's delusions. And yes, it's bloody painful to have to face the utterly inhospitable and inhuman reality of your existence. You are alone in this world, and no one can change that. However, this can (and bloody well will) be turned into something magnificent.

Do you know what it means, now that you're no longer part of those illusions? Two main things. One - you can be free from everything that binds 90% of the population (yay). Two - you have to restructure your entire reality (oh fuck).

This subreddit and the manosphere at large can give you some of the tools to do this, but the actual creation of your new world has to come from you. Your new found freedom is full of unbridled potential, but your biggest task is to figure out what on Earth you want to do with it.

You're playing God now friend, you don't have the luxury of gratification anymore. So play the part well by winning the only real game there is, and you might end up enjoying it. There's always suicide if you don't.

OneRedYear · 2017-07-17T04:35:29+00:00

21 year old, 20 years of lies lol. Peekaboo is bullshit mom! It's bullshit!

Godddammit you did not actually have my nose!

Fuck you for Christmas, Santa is bullshit! How could you lie to my face!

grandaddychimp · 2017-07-17T03:35:43+00:00

This is a completely normal part of digesting the pill. Think about the Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You are in the depression phase because you know TRP is true, but you haven't come to terms with it. Once you accept it, you will love women more than ever before because you understand them. Your interactions with them will reflect this. Just keep lifting and thinking about TRP and improving your SMV. Don't stop.

Johnny_S · 2017-07-17T06:27:20+00:00

Stop lamenting over nothing and start living your life. You are 21 years old, if you waste your time now on deppression you'll regret it when you'll be 40 or 50, when you can't turn back anymore.

"No one talks to you if there isn't something of even a little value to them in it. "

You are over exaggerating.

What's your exact problem? That the world is like this? Yes it is, it has been and it will be long after we are gone. Who cares? Stop jacking off at home, go out and pick some girls up in a club and be happy about yourself. Don't wait for the taller and more chiseled jaw line guy to appear.

_Hamburgler_ · 2017-07-17T20:26:47+00:00

I can relate to your mindset. I've been reading the red pill for about the same amount of time as you and working out for about a year longer than I've read. It's tough to fully wrap my head around some of the fundamental contradictions I've personally experienced and that you've laid out. I'm a fairly introverted person, so the idea of plating (getting to know and spend time on multiple females at the same) just is not ideal to me. That shit seems, and is fucking draining. Honestly, I just don't care about other people's lives enough to set up the facade of caring. I have one or two genuine friendships that likely are only in existence due to the ease of their maintenance. Like you said, everyone is in it for themselves and the second you have nothing to offer those people are gone. Friends truly come and go.

One night stands aren't appealing to me either. I've never understood, why would I want to fuck someone who is so accessible? I've tried it before, and it's caused me to care even less about getting with girls. Like, "That's it? That's what all I've been wanting to do?"

That being said, I do want to be having sex with "the right" girls as much as any other guy. But when you get to know some of these chicks, some of them are either just fucking repulsive human beings or mind numbingly boring. If there's one thing that I've noticed, it's that most woman are 100% conditioned by our society to be led. After going to college, I can honestly say that most, if not all of the women (girls) I've met are just hamsters. Meaning, they seem not to think for themselves and are incapable of generating their own, objective, views. All of them just want to be accepted and do/think whatever they think is most popular. I find that shit exhausting to deal with. I want someone to challenge me to be more. Not someone who accepts me for who I already am. Nothing is more annoying than receiving compliments for something that I know I could do better at. Compliments like that are people's subconscious way of saying "ehh you're good enough." People would rather make you feel complacent than challenge you to be more, and I hate that.

The loneliness I understand though. I'm not exactly sure if I even have any advice of value for this but speaking from my experiences, family and hobbies have been god sends. If it weren't for my brother, nor music, I really don't know who/what I would be able to count on. The red pill has made me realize that when you stop wasting your time on other people who aren't there for you, you really have a lot of down time. Thats why lifting and hobbies alike are so crucial. Find something and get good as fuck at it. Otherwise, what else would you be doing with your time? Getting manipulated by women for attention? I'll pass on that.

I hope this comment isn't too unorganized and you can find some value in this, but it felt good to type, so enjoy.

DarkuSchneider · 2017-07-17T09:01:20+00:00

This is natural and will pass if you do not let yourself get stuck in a new mental rut that will keep you from your paths in life. Changing ones core paradigm is not a comfortable process. Familiarize yourself with the stages of grief and focus on setting up your future for your sake while you work through things. A man generally starts to come into his own around 25 having some life experience as an adult and a better idea of how things really work vs idealized fantasies and what you really want to do in life.

Understand humans are animals, cut from the same cloth as the animal kingdom. We share their merits and flaws too which is why we experiment on them so much. In the back of your brain where it controls your heartbeat and other things autonomously is a place that is hardwired to make humans reproduce aggressively and can suppress our logic and reasoning parts of the brain which is how our dicks can get us into trouble sometimes and why girls will say I dunno it just happened. Self-mastery is key for success in more than relationships/sex. Men and women have a seemingly contradictory but complimentary strategy that insures the best genes/traits carry our evolution forward. It is not a fair or moral system merely coldly efficient and it always wins in the end. Women want men that will not get moved down by nature or her and instead manage it to positive ends to provide and protect kids. Men want women who are the most potentially fertile and healthy aka hot, fit, and young. Do not be the male version of the radfem and hate on women for their nature just be aware of the risks when thinking things through. Most people do not even realize the shit nature does to get us to fuck. Your state of mind colors your actions and when dealing with others out of hate you will get poorer returns on your investments. No... women are not magical creatures that shower the world with comfort and joy 24/7 but you can coax them into it sometimes.

Cold bottom line: You want women become eligible. If you want to keep one always be eligible with women in general. Hate the game not the player as they used to say. It's why the pill is so bittersweet. You have to accept unpleasant truths but it sets your free from a lie that was worse and ruins your life most of the time eventually. Good luck man and remember life is a work in progress until your last breath so there is never a reason to quit but its ok to take a break sometimes.

zeeohsixer · 2017-07-17T16:40:25+00:00

"are you really gonna live your life alone and without others"

You're already miles ahead of where I was at 21, I knew that the Disney Fantasy was bullshit but I went with the flow and got married (now divorced thank god). Don't sweat this kind of stuff, enjoy women at arms length and keep focus on the important stuff. You'll always have your buddies and if that isn't enough I suggest a German Shepherd.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2017-07-17T17:44:35+00:00

Sounds like you are entering the anger phase.

Swallowed_the_pill · 2017-07-18T00:11:10+00:00

It's because you have been taught that shallow = bad. You are just as fucking shallow yourself. It's human nature. It's our instict and it's absolutely fucking fine that way.

What you have to do is find your path. What do you want to do? Set goals. Work on yourself, do interesting stuff and stop caring. If you're having fun and doing well in life, why give a shit if it's all because your looks/money/status/social skills/big dick/luck/whatever.

Do you want to fuck girls because you want to be nice to them? Or do you want to fuck them because they are hot, have nice tits and an ass you want to spank the shit out of? If you don't want anything to do with them, get plates or fuck friends.

TunedtoPerfection · 2017-07-18T05:39:20+00:00

Your frame about a lot of what you see is wrong, so you reject it and call it fake.

A part of me wants absolutely nothing to do with people and i just wanna be left alone seeing that every interaction with everyone has a underlying motive. No one talks to you if there isn't something of even a little value to them in it. It seems that "real friends" and relationships are few and far between.

So you don't want to talk to anyone because they might have another goal other then the pure joy have conversation with you? Fuck off dude, that's not fake that's just how the world works. You can't get more real then that. You have a motive for wanting to talk, even if it is just wanting to talk. Saying you can't find real friends because everyone who talks to you has a motive is like saying you can't have a relationship with a hot woman because you would always want to fuck her.

That is HOW you build friendships and relationships by finding people with similar goals and motives to you!

Even when girls give me IOIs, i feel happy for a second then i think "lol im just at the right place right time, she'd do the exact same if some guy walked in right now that's taller than me or has a more chiseled jaw line" Its all fucking fake.

Yup your just gonna have to deal with the fact that, just like yourself, women don't stop being attracted to attractive men just because they looked at one for 5 seconds across a bar on a random Tuesday. Just because this is a fact, doesn't mean her attraction to you isn't real.

You know what you are right about one thing, you were probably just at the right place at the right time. Well expect for those 8 months in the gym you spend improving yourself enough so that just actually LOOKED at you AT that place and time. Being in the right place at the right time takes a lot more work then you initially though huh?

Women are not the innocent creatures i was brought up to believe. Everytime i see a "innocent" looking girl that i might be interested in, all i can think of is her being the subject of some sex story authored by a Chad on here. I wanna get girls because the man in me wants to fuck them but there are still blue pill parts of me that want the "innocent girl, who is only mine". I want girls but i want nothing to do with them. Fuck.

That's the lie man. She is only "innocent" looking because you've been sold that as "innocent". Honestly you should WANT your girl doing some of the things written about on here. When Women get sexual like that with you they are showing they will do what it takes to make you happy. They do this because you make them happy. You do this by being an attractive man and choosing them over the sea of other hoes.

This is how sexual adult male - female relationships should start, with this type of intense attraction. From there YOU as the man now get to decide if this woman is right for you and your mission at this point. IF yes bring her closer into your life, if not enjoy that attraction with her for what it is and not be sorry about it when it fades.

TheYeti01 · 2017-07-18T15:15:33+00:00

Wow thanks for posting this OP I am literally on the same boat as you 100%. Im also 21 and have the same thoughts running through my head. Good to know im not alone and also thanks to the many people who replied to you.

infinitefootball · 2017-07-18T20:16:08+00:00

Did I post this? Are you me? lol. This is exactly how I feel. Honestly, I just think it isn't worth it. Fuck fake people. Like seriously, fuck em. If you ain't a real, sincere motherfucker then stay the fuck away from me.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-07-19T16:38:30+00:00

We need a Red Pill Rage flair.

Almost all the stories of single guys are the same.

Bro, this is the Red Pill Rage. It fades over time when you realize that women are awesome- at what (and who) they do.

NeoreactionSafe · 2017-07-17T12:14:17+00:00

This is the Anger Phase.

But it's also a point where you don't know Game yet.

Game means that you get into her head to such a degree that she craves you being with her and Dreads the idea of going alone again.

Once you get a women to "look up" at you through your masculine shifting of reality she will be unlikely to find better.

This does not erase Hypergamy, but unless someone comes along to replace you who could already find better you have little to fear.

Only the true psychopaths destroy the relationships of others simply for sport.

Unfortunately the psychopaths do exist. (but are rare)

We all die eventually so all relationships are limited by lifespan anyway.

No one lives forever and no relationship lasts forever.

m3ch1n4x · 2017-07-17T20:08:26+00:00

I just turned 28, I found TheRedPill 9 months ago - after reading the fuck out of the sidebar and going monkmode to try and figure out what society is REALLY about - I'm in a similar position. I'm really, really deep in the anger phase.

You need brothers who are of the same mindset you're trying to cultivate, you can find these dudes in martial arts like jujitsu. Total alphadogs. If you want to kill that lonliness, take up martial arts.

Title	The Pill has me conflicted AF
Author	winu96
Upvotes	58
Comments	37
Date	July 17, 2017 12:50 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6npuxs/the_pill_has_me_conflicted_af/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-pill-has-me-conflicted-af.44715 https://theredarchive.com/post/44715

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