Intro

This is a piece is inspired by several asktrp threads. I write this because I feel as if the mantra of "always escalate" is being misused by readers here. I see this in posts where users are concerned they can't always fuck on the first date and in posts where dudes escalate too quickly and strike the fuck out. While I am not directly challenging "Always escalate", I am suggesting to you that escalation can take other forms. The slow-play is my wheelhouse, and produces great lays. I write this in a FR because I feel it is not explicitly a theoretical post and I will produce a FR that happened not terribly long ago where this was put into action.

What?

Slow-playing is essentially taking your time, when available, to game a broad. What you are doing is using several factors to close the deal. First, it is not controversial that when you are around chicks regularly they become attracted to you (making all the necessary assumptions - attractiveness, frame, etc.). When you are on a girls mind long enough, in their mind this will transform into attraction. Second, you are deliberately building the sexual tension until it fucking explodes. Every time you meet, you build it. You resist giving in yourself because you know how women's minds work - lust, obsession, transience. You exploit this to the point where she cannot possibly hold back or resistance any advance. Disney and the other mass media has been prepping them for this since they were born. Exploit it. Third, girl talk. Her girlfriends can spot sexual tension a mile away. Know in the back of your mind that when there is chemistry, her girlfriends will ask about, "so whats up with you and him". Let them do the work for you.

Why?

There are three primary reasons why this is a good strategy.

  1. For those of us (many) the satisfaction of gaming girls is in the hunt, this is the sweetest hunt possible. There is nothing more satisfying than gaming a girl after a slow play. I can fuck all the drunk chicks I want in a ONS, but a slow play succeeded is far sweeter than shitty sex with a bar slut high on coke or MDMA. She wants it to happen, and there is no social stigma holding her back.

  2. A lot of bullshit you normally have to deal with doesn't exist in a slow-play.The biggest of them all being LMR. There is no LMR ever after you've completed a slow play. Resistance has been destroyed. The sex is far better, and easier escalated, and she is totally into it. Remember - movies, television shows, they're all built on sexual tension between the male and female leads. When you deliberately foster that - watch the fuck out.

  3. It's actually a decent filter for LTRs. In the immortal words of Eminem, "How could I ever trust you? I just met you, and I just fucked you." Girls that won't ONS love a good slow play. Slow playing gives you the time to assess the girl and see how long it takes before she gives in. It also gives you the opportunity to view her from afar without being friendzoned to see how slutty she really is (never friendzone yourself). If you're playing the long con and she jumps into bed with the first Chad she sees, you know the type of girl you're dealing with.

When??

This is crucial. I expect to get resistance from the community because escalating is always good. However, slow-playing has a time and place. This is essentially, any situation where sexual interest is ambiguous (Tinder it is unambiguous, so rule that out) and where you have the fucking time to do it (a club is therefore ruled out). The best situation possible for a slow play is when you meet a girl in the ordinary social way - through friends. I have a pretty wide social circle so you meet girls just casually. The sexual tension is ambiguous (it is unclear if you are meeting as friends or more) and you have time (she ain't going anywhere). For those readers who are just going to college or have to move away for whatever reason, this is a situation for you. You're going to meet new people that could become part of a friend group. You have time to do it. If you're about to go on an exchange in college, read the following FR because it is absolutely ideal for that situation too.

How?

At its most basic, you escalate indirectly. Banter, intense eye contact, amused mastery, flirty talk in general, kino. But, you hold off on closing until you're positive that sexual tension has done its thing. Here is a FR which will be filled with certain lessons:

When I was in undergrad I participated in an exchange to Europe. I knew only two other people going, both dudes on my soccer team. I knew they were solid and it was 20 people in total 10 girls and 10 guys.

Right off the bat, I saw one of these girls doing yoga stretches in her room because I was walking past and she left her door open. I learned she was a yoga instructor, and I instantly targeted her. When me and the guys I know from my team went out for drinks, we discussed which of these girls we were each interested in and I named her. This is an important factor - we were the only half-alphas of the men (the rest total betas) and we knew each other so it was a form of marking territory. Those other two also succeeded in hooking up with their choices, but that's another story. The point is, by marking territory I eliminated any real threat of anyone else posting up thus increasing time.

Within two weeks, we all went to the bar and I ended up making out with yoga girl. The day after it was obvious there was attraction but I was getting resistance. So in the name of slow playing I backed off, and escalated in non-direct ways. Every time we talked it was flirty banter, small amounts of kino, direct intense eye contact, an awful lot of amused mastery. I was holding off, but maintaining an aura of "I want to fuck you, I'm no friendzone bitch, but I'm not going to make a move just yet". This is what I mean by escalation can take several forms. You don't need to go for the close every time. You can just build sexual tension and not make a move through kino, eye contact, witty/flirty banter.

Then, I did what any red-blooded TRP man ought to do in this situation. I started hooking up with a local broad. Again, I didn't calculate this at the time - I was just a horny bastard - but looking back now, I see what happened. This lasted for about two weeks, and she was probably objectively hotter than yoga girl, but not subjectively. This is a win-win situation because if yoga girl was seriously not going to fuck me, that's fine - I'm still fucking a nice plate. But there are three factors at play here - 1) social proof; 2) jealousy; and 3) girl talk. I know for a fact that the other girls on the exchange would ask her, "so what's up with you and ECoast_Man? He's been hooking up with that other girl". This of course would push her jealousy into hyperdrive because I was her territory in the exchange accommodations. Note this doesn't work all the time, but it can be extremely effective when it does, and again it's a win-win.

About two weeks after that we were all playing soccer and we were relaxing having some drinks and me and the other two soccer bros were doing tricks. I walked over next to yoga girl and playfully asked for a beer and grabbed it. She was laying on the ground and I was behind her. She grabbed my hands and wrapped them around her right on her tits. Game on. We went back that night and she gave me head. I'm still "but I wanna get some head" kind of guy, so I don't usually make it an issue to escalate beyond. We then started hooking up every night because she would come to my room. It was her who said, "I think it's time to take it to the next level" after a couple of hookups.

The conclusion to this is, she became obsessed with me all because her female mind made this out to be some sort of Disney fantasy. All because I slow played. Also, she mentioned to me specifically that she found it hard when I was with the other girl because "I had to hear you fucking her". That's a side story which I might talk about another time (fucking other girls to increase jealousy/social proof, but that's been done).

Lessons Learned

  1. You don't always need to escalate physically to the point of fucking. Escalation means different things. It can mean planting the idea in her mind, letting it grow, and then capitalizing when the mare is rearing and horny. Intense eye contact with amused mastery works amazingly in this regard;

  2. All of this is contextual. If you have the time, use it. If you don't, you have to escalate quickly like in a club.

  3. And coming from the FR, abundance mentality. You can see there I employed this and it is a win-win. At worst I was fucking a hot local, at best I was fucking a hot local and setting her up for the girl I wanted to fuck by making jealous.

  4. Stop thinking you need to escalate to fuck immediately. I even do this with Tinder dates because I like being flirty and setting up for date two or date three. You bypass a lot of bullshit this way when she is into it.

  5. When you have time, use it