I've posted here on MGTOW now a few times (it always turns into a fucking book lol) regarding my cousin and his girlfriend, the land-whale. This story involved the ingestion of quite a bit of alcohol when it occurred, so the quotes I make are approximate. i.e. I was pretty fucking intoxicated! But overall it's true to what occurred.

Quick backstory: Land-whale is literally a land-whale. She's close to, if not over, 500lbs. Complete bitch, terrible attitude, thinks everyone owes her everything, flunked out of a few different schools, cheated on cousin (I still don't understand the logistics behind this one). All those great qualities that make her such a strong, independent, fearless woman! /s

I can't stand her, she can't stand me, it's just a mutual thing.

​

Out of the blue she texts me one day asking if I'd like to go on a double date with the two of them and one of her friends. It's been literal years since I've had any casual conversation with her that I wasn't forced into, so this was extremely odd. I told her no, said I wasn't looking for anything, and it was left at that (or so I thought!).

​

Came home from college one weekend and went to a buddies house to watch a football game. He has a very nice place, huge tv, lots of room, plenty of alcohol, etc. so it was an easy choice to make. Low and behold, land-whale shows up! She comes up and tries to speak with me, which I could tell was absolutely killing her since I can see through every level of fake she has, but fellas, she was really caking it on this time! Sure enough, she goes on to say how she didn't know I was going to be in town and if she had known "I would've brought 'L' with me".

​

I just said "Oh, yeah, too bad I guess" and walked away. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "Who the fuck is L?"... It never dawned on me that it was someone she was trying to hook me up with, especially since I never cared to ask the girls name the first time she asked about the date. Oh well, I move on, eat some food, drink some beer, fairly drunk and enjoying myself at this point.

​

Now guys, by no means am I the perfect man. Yes, I workout, watch what I eat, enjoy education and learning, reading, and so on. The important part to me though, is I'm working to make myself the perfect man. I'm actively trying to improve myself, but I'm doing it FOR MYSELF. Not for the tail dragging women who want to hop on and ride you to success until they get bored, drag you down, or find a new ride. (If you're lucky you get all three!)

​

Land-whale disappears for a while and I'm relieved, but it's not 15 minutes later that she shows back up with some other girl I've never seen before. If you're connecting the dots, yes, this was L. To describe L the exact way I regarded her when her image refracted through my lens and struck my retina, it was "Yikes!". Unkempt, pudgy, greasy, and just downright not attractive. I avoided that shit like the plague! I know what she was trying to do, and it down right pissed me off that land-whale couldn't, NAY, wouldn't take my "No" for an answer! I would also come to find out that L also has a kid! Go figure!

​

Quick lesson for the less "experienced" gentlemen. If you ever have any questions about what the females in your life truly think of you, just wait until they try to set you up with someone. The person they choose will be a perfect visual representation of what they think of you. In my case, I was not surprised in the least bit.

​

I started playing poker with some of the guys, and who should join us at the table but land-whale and L! They weren't playing of course, "just watching". In the literal middle of a hand, waiting on the river, land-whale decided "now would be a perfect time to ask Mc_A-ron some personal questions!". I guess this was her attempt at trying to get L and I talking. Most of them were general questions pertaining to hobbies, work, school, etc. The one I still remember, verbatim, was "So, Mc_A-ron, how much money do you think you'll be making after you finish grad school?". "Enough that I'll be able to invest, travel, pay all my bills, buy a new car, and still have some left over" was my response. Given the ways her eyes lit up, L definitely liked the sound of that! (To be fair though, we ordered pizza later and they did the same thing when it arrived so I could be wrong.)

​

The rest of the night was pretty mundane, just cat and mouse avoiding those two while getting plastered and having fun. I hit that line though... You know the one... where every filter you have just vanishes like an alimony check in a department store. I was tired of being harassed, followed, and basically interrogated while not having my "no" taken seriously. To put it bluntly, I got real. L was very quiet (almost timid and shy), and landwhale never officially introduced us or told me this was the girl she had messaged me about, but it was all confirmed later by my cousin (I know, thanks for the heads up, right?).

​

Somehow we got on the topic of dating while working/going to school. It was then that I said something along the lines of "Fuck marriage, and screw relationships in general. It's all just a big giant trap with bloodthirsty leeches at the bottom. When you're dry, it's on to the next one!". Land-whale did not like this because it meant I was aware of the truth! "You can't say that Mc_A-ron, you just need to find the right woman!". I audibly laughed, it wasn't the first time I've heard this, sure it won't be the last. "What do you mean by "right woman"? Attractive enough to justify overlooking all the negatives?" I said. "No, I mean someone you can come home to after working all day. Who'll cook and clean, take care of your kids, and other stuff that shows how much they love you"

"I think you've read too many fairy tales, because that's not at all how it works, especially in this day and age. Women don't cook, they don't clean, they shove their kids off on daycare/nannies, even in your own example they don't even have a job. And what for? So they can sit on their asses all day, balloon up to 400lbs, blame you for all their problems, and seek attention elsewhere? All while the "man" tries to keep them afloat financially by killing himself at work. That seems like a raw deal to me.".

Land-whale, in the shrillest and "cuntiest" voice possible, said "You can't say that about all women! I'm DEFINITELY not a liar!" (Yes, that was the one thing she chose to disagree with...)

Filters were pretty much nonexistent for me, but then I turned my Fuck-You meter to 11 and ripped the fucking knob off! You guys have all seen Jaws, right? You know the scene where Brody shoots the oxygen tank in the sharks mouth and it just explodes into a billion pieces? That was exactly what happened to land-whales head after I dropped this bomb.

"Wait, so you told *cousin* you were cheating on him with three guys at the same time? Hmm... I could've sworn he said you lied to him about where you were during all those times."

Now enraged and actively popping blood vessels in both eyes, land-whale said what every woman loooooves to say when confronted with the truth....

"Fuck you! I can't believe you would say that! Who hurt you?!? FUCK YOU!"

I had a few great comebacks in my arsenal, but land-whale thundered off relatively quickly, L in tow. I stood there, smiling between sips of cheap beer, until the seismic activity faded out, signaling she was gone. I enjoyed the absence of nagging and bitching a few moments before pouring a few shots for myself and my buddies.

You guys think L will still like me, right?? /s