my wife cheated on me and my daughter isn't mine (i need an advise)

DaveC111 · 2019-04-25T22:33:13+00:00

Wtf did I just read?!

If this is real, you absolutely don't kick a 14 year old kid that you've been raising out of your house! Good grief! You need help and so does the kid. I wouldn't tell her until much later in her life... If ever.

ThePenitentMan38 · 2019-04-25T21:52:55+00:00

You should continue to raise the girl. For all intents and purposes, she IS you daughter. Furthermore, the government sees you as the father and you are financially responsible for her until she is 18. You don't have to be related to her by blood to love her like a daughter. People love their cats and dogs like children and they are not even the same species. Please don't tell the girl about her mom cheating. Just act normally like a father and you will be rewarded with her love. Best wishes.

Maximum_Afternoon · 2019-04-25T22:33:11+00:00

Ethically complicated situation. The child is really the mother's problem, but she's dead. Maybe this is a practical starting point: raising the daughter to 18 will cost way, WAAAAAAAY less that the divorce would have cost you.

hoghound87 · 2019-04-25T22:27:37+00:00

Taking your anger against your late wife out on the daughter you raised, genetic or not, especially when her mom is recently dead and you're the parent she has left... That would be completely fucked up. I can see the position you are in, but completely abandoning a child that only knows you as dad, that's pretty reprehensible in my book

UserName3267 · 2019-04-25T21:59:58+00:00

Giving up kids so theyll have to find a new family sucks a lot, even if its not your kid now i think you should make sure there are less shitty or damaged people in this world.

zubbs99 · 2019-04-25T23:00:02+00:00

I confront her, then she starts bitching and telling me that I am the reason because I don't give here attention and I am always late home and you all know the classic excuse

Yes this is what they always resort to, blaming you for their betrayal. Sorry bro that you have to deal with this. Stay strong. If you still care for the daughter, regardless of whether yours genetically or not, consider taking care of her at least till she's older, since none of it is her fault.

PhantomCowboy · 2019-04-25T22:32:15+00:00

fake

DonutFrank · 2019-04-25T22:02:10+00:00

Yeah, that's up to you. It's ok if you wanna raise her.

MuleFool42 · 2019-04-25T22:43:28+00:00

Not the girl's fault. Get paternity test, take care of her until she moves out and be done with it.

Oh, and if I give you some things to pray for, for me, would you mind? LOL :)

beyondwalkinghate · 2019-04-25T21:45:17+00:00

if the kid has grandparents you can leave with then, or raise her, thats a lot on you, on what do YOU want?

wsuofd · 2019-04-25T22:58:34+00:00

Youre still dad bro...but congrats on the out LOL

some1arguewithme · 2019-04-26T00:35:23+00:00

Try to raise your daughter as well as you can. Do not resent her it isn't her fault. Do not take out your anger for anything on your daughter. Just do your best to raise her to be a ethical person. The kind of woman who wouldn't do what her mother did.

PrkcpEx · 2019-04-25T22:36:08+00:00

Your body, your choice. You’re a strong independent man, if u decide to DISCARD the girl, that is perfectly fine and no one should shame you.

iseehot · 2019-04-26T00:41:44+00:00

She is not genetically your daughter and is unaware of this.

You can either:

Abandon her. Check with a lawyer to see if this is a reasonable option.
Keep her until she is legally an adult.

At that point, you can either:

Tell her the truth.
Keep living the lie.

Your actions then are:

Kick her out.
Keep a relationship with her.

Your heart and your finances are your guide.

2019-04-26T04:36:26+00:00

you won the lottery on the wife factor! you can raise her for 4 more years. it sucks I know, but just do that.

MarkAurelios · 2019-04-26T04:51:18+00:00

Well, the Wife is out of the picture now. She's neither a problem anymore, nor a stain on you. So that's one thing 'taken care of', so to speak.

As for your daughter, that entirely depends how you see her now. If you still see the little girl you raised and feel like a father to, then my guess is that you raise her as your own child, as you did so far. This might be contrary to the advice of many guys here, but the Kids innocent, and will need a Father. Yes, you're not required nor obligated to do this, but it would be noble to do so, because that kid only knows you as her father. Losing you too would probably fuck her up for life.

On the other hand, If you're certain you can't look at her the same way anymore, it might be best that you give her to her grandparents or see that she gets to a good, new family. Because the only thing worse then losing a father, is living with a father that actually hates you.

jdutches13 · 2019-04-26T05:00:56+00:00

You said you are religious and god answered your prayers, but you want to make a 14yr year old kid homeless because the mom cheated you??

I don't care how often you go to church, or how much money you donate.... That child is just as much of a victim as you are!!

Not only has your life been a lie but that child's life is a lie due to her mother

I feel like this is a shit post, but if its true.......you need a psychological evaluation

YeastBeast33 · 2019-04-26T06:33:15+00:00

Dude, that was so sad to read. He raised a kid for 14 years. 14 FUCKIN YEARS imagine the disgusting feeling when u learn this shit. Omg.

bacon_and_3ggs · 2019-04-25T21:40:24+00:00

You should learn how to write properly.

Edit: didnt see she died.

Your case OP, nothing wrong with a DNA test. Maintain a relationship with the kid. Be a good role model for the kid.

mvlock · 2019-04-25T21:53:33+00:00

Tell her side bf he might be the father That he should take her

DanManDanny · 2019-04-25T23:46:06+00:00

Help the girl get on her feet, but that’s as far as it goes

I would give my inheritance to someone related by blood, like a cousin, or donate to charity at least. Sorry girl.

SirYouAreIncorrect · 2019-04-26T02:12:23+00:00

I believe this to be fake ( this reads more like a incel fantasy, or some feminist troll post but) but in the off chance it is not....

hello brothers,

hmmm

my daughter (14 years old) isn't mine ... should I kick her out the house because I'm still angry at my ex wife

Sorry but anyone that would even ask that question is no brother of mine, and can hardely call themself a man.

Also good luck finding a legal way to do that, after 14 years she is your duaghter legally, there is likely no legal way for you to change that, DNA tests do not mean shit to the Family courts. Unless the bio dad wants to step up, she is your kid for the next 4 years.

The important thing here is she is as much a victim in this as you are, for you to be such are cold heartless fuck as you seem to be borders on sociopathic behaviour, if you could infact just "kick her out" like that, with no feeling, no emotion, no thoughts at all I encourge you to seek professional mental health assistance

walkersm · 2019-04-26T04:53:58+00:00

Do you like your daughter?

BahamianMGTOW · 2019-04-26T05:04:57+00:00

If what your saying is true you cant ever tell her. Her mom is gone you will never know who the real father is. Its best to leave it be an continue treating her as your daughter. Dnt ever tell her it will destroy her she is innocent. Take the secret of you not being her real father with you too your grave.

2019-04-26T05:57:43+00:00

if it was a baby, get rid of it, you shouldn't be on the line for that much support. but she's 14 and in the most fragile part of life. i think the best thing to do is care for it like your daughter until 18. you would've anyways, so its not even a loss, and you saved so much not getting divorce raped. i know it'll burn to spend money on someone you know isn't your child, but it can't be that much $$, not like you have to pay for college and other crazy shit. just let her live with you and buy her food until she can get a job and be an adult.

OurHeroXero · 2019-04-26T06:11:04+00:00

Genetically speaking, she may not be your daughter. However, a family is much more than just flesh and blood. They're also the bonds forged through life.

I understand you've been betrayed and can only imagine the flood of emotions you're experiencing. Abandoning the kid will leave her feeling just as confused and betrayed as you are now. Letting her go won't change what your wife did to you. The sudden abandonment will likely destroy the girls life. She'll further distrust humanity and will further corrupt future generations.

Be the change you want of the world. Though not your genetic-offspring, she is your daughter just as you are her father...her dad...14 years in the making.

So many women abandon their man without a second thought. And you want to follow down that same path? Abandon another life just because it's convenient?

I5zq3iuyfI · 2019-04-26T06:17:20+00:00

Think about her as an adopted kid. You can still love her as your own.

RedPilledSimp · 2019-04-26T06:29:53+00:00

I can't tell you what to do OP. Only saying what I would do in your place. I'd try to keep my heart open for the child. After all it's not her fault. And I would tell her the truth. I actually hope you don't know the real father.

ianlam123 · 2019-04-26T09:55:21+00:00

Dude that’s not what a Christian should think like. God would never punish someone through killing them. If you pray for punishment towards your wife, then you are very wrong. What god wants us to do is to forgive others’ sins just like God has been doing to every one of us.

You have been with your daughter for so many years, just treat her as your own daughter, I believe she doesn’t want to call another random dude “Dad”. Even you guys don’t have blood relationship, it doesn’t matter, she will forever be your relative.

NoCharism · 2019-04-26T09:58:41+00:00

This makes me wonder wether there is something wrong about the system we live in.

Ive read that many times, women want attention from their husbands, but because they have to work the whole day and come home exhausted, theres not enough time for them to give their wifes enough attention.

I wonder if humanity went the right way.

Maybe families should have stayed with farming, while their sons would go out, invent things, earn money and when theyre like 40 they can chose to have a family and live in a farm, or keep working and researching in STEM fields?!

I heard that romans did something similar, just that their men went out and conquered land, while the women stayed with their parents until a retired soldier would chose to marry her.

ShelbyCobra90 · 2019-04-26T10:10:54+00:00

Fake.

2019-04-26T10:22:59+00:00

I mean, the child is not guilty, right? She did not have a choice. For all her life she only knows you as dad. Take that away, at this age, will ruin her.

I like to think I would keep "my" children no matter what. But it's really up to you. Perhaps go to church and ask your Lord for guidance.

Bokyja · 2019-04-26T10:42:25+00:00

The way you posted this, is kinda fake.But if its true, which i doubt it you shouldn't kick that kid out of that house because that kid is innocent. I mean what blame she would have of her mother actions?

Get a lawyer and try to find a solution.

But overall, this story is fake

2019-04-26T13:59:49+00:00

I would say raise her. I would do anything to be able to raise a kid.

faltHes · 2019-04-26T15:04:22+00:00

Confident this isn't a post made in good faith. Reads a lot like fem bait, but here would be one man's response.

The kid did nothing wrong, and you were betrayed. The kid has always viewed you as her father, and you viewed her as your daughter. That genetic bond doesn't exist now, but there is still a long history between you two. The child is too young to understand the pain of this from a betrayed man's point of view.

The answer is that there is no "correct" decision here. It was a losing hand from the start, so what you're left with is chosing what you believe to be the lesser of two wrongs. I would look into what your state laws say about your situation, or at least consult with a lawyer who does know. You aren't in a position to kick a child onto the street legally, much less morally. MGTOW isn't about hating children, even those born through infidelity. Do not express your pain to that soul.

At the end of the day, you're in a morally gray area to be treading. On one hand, you need to sleep with a good conscious since you seem like a fair and loving man who puts others before himself. On the other, you need to remember that no one else will look out for you except for yourself.

RedMeatTrinket · 2019-04-26T16:30:30+00:00

You need an attorney now.
You need to find the father and sue for child support.

I'd hate for a kid to get fucked over because of this.

LilMizzTootznPootz · 2019-05-17T08:22:30+00:00

Did you love her before you knew? Was she a good daughter and loved you? Context is very crucial here.

generosa26 · 2019-06-05T01:31:09+00:00

Go to a therapy, maybe she is not your daughter biologically but she certainly thinks your her father. Therapy will help you realize these things and your mind sorted out....

You should tell her when she is 18 years old the truth though....

Title	my wife cheated on me and my daughter isn't mine (i need an advise)
Author	deadsick
Upvotes	58
Comments	67
Date	April 25, 2019 9:34 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/bhe7o1/my_wife_cheated_on_me_and_my_daughter_isnt_mine_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/my-wife-cheated-on-me-and-my-daughter-isnt-mine-i.476569 https://theredarchive.com/post/476569

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