I've been getting a lot of requests regarding my divorce and what lead up to it. Despite my best efforts, it kept being a saga so I just copied and pasted my old post from a year ago about my separation.

I'll do my best to answer questions as they pop up. If anyone is interested I'll give you a run down for the events that led to me to marrying this wonderful woman it's full of RED flags that I ignored because of love and hope that this story can save someone from making my mistakes.

Finally, I can also post the post separation as I had a fun time dealing with the insanity that can only come from a woman scorned. It's actually worse then this story but again, it's lengthy and I'm not going to post it if there's no interest.

My divorce story

"A year ago I was told that I was going to be let go as well as a few hundred people. I was given the option to transfer to another team, move to another province or take a large payment. I was also told my wife was pregnant.

Despite this, I was happy and cautiously optimistic. I talked it over with my wife and reasoned that I would take the large payment and find work. The money would help us buy a new home.

I started to look for work a few weeks I left my job in April but found it hard to get anything. As the due date approached, I told my wife that I would prefer taking this time to be there for her. I have constantly worked for years with no vacation and wanted to be around for the birth of our first child.

The birth in June was hard. A lot of complications arose but in spite all this, a healthy son was born. It was a surreal experience. I was happy. I am a father.

A moment like this spreads and family from Norway came over. What was 4 hours of sleep diminished as I played host and made sure (unsuccessfully) for my wife to take it easy. Sleep, eating and free time became luxury. This was hard but temporary and eventually family had to go back. Of course, I had to help pay for the flight back. She came all this way after all.

It was interesting coming up with a routine to stay and watch our son but we were managing. However, my wife got mestatis (it's awful) got a fever and had to go to hospital. Reason was she was taking medication to produce more milk to feed our son and his nephew (more to come). She missed a pump and her breast got infected.

Because of her state (recovering from birth and infection) she decided to stay at her sisters. Her sister just had a baby and the two can help each other. Meanwhile I can focus on finding work. Makes sense as we were digging into the savings. This was in August.

I land a few interviews but nothing solid. Meanwhile, I am now living with my in laws and helping with the house (two kids plus my son) and am feeling stressed. My wife (understandably) is busy and there is no us time. I point this out and am told that I should be more understanding.

OK. No work is coming. It's now September and my wife is visibly upset. We fight and it comes out that I'm setting my standards too high. Trying to look for similar work with equal pay. I am promptly told that I don't love her (someone should take anything). I apologize and take accountability. I need to find anything. Our marriage is on the rocks.

Depressed, I strike and land a low paying job. I tell her and some of the pressure is now gone. However, there is still no affection and I am still helping around with my in laws.

In a months time, I finally get a job that is my field. With this news the expectation becomes that I work both jobs and continue to help out. I question why we are staying at the in laws when we have our own place. I am told that it's her eight to spend time with her sister. I am also told that she is going to visit her sister in Norway. Furthermore, I notice that religion is starting to become more and more a thing.

It's November comes and my wife states that we should help the in laws. A thousand goes towards my sister in law. I am not ok with this. I am not quite ok with the trip to norway as I am expected to do overtime for it. My work week is 70 hours average. I am tired, stressed, alone and frustrated.

December comes. Wife's sister in Australia is upset. Maybe suicidal. She must go there. Has to take 5 month old baby because can't leave him. Cost is 3k. I explode.

I am accountable to not helping her out because during pregnancy post and pre birth, I was tired with the work imposed on me. I am accountable for spending money from savings because I don't have work. Bringing up spending 6k (norway + Australian + sister) is really dirty and unfair.

I tell her two options move home and live in the house I have am paying rent on (1600) or move to in laws (something I am against) because no way am I spending another 8k on this farce while hearing talk about saving. Also we need counselling. No sex, kisses feel awkward, get ignored 90 % and feeling depressed.

Talks to sister in Australia. Realized that bringing a newborn across the world to Australia is stupid. Doesn't do it. I tell her ok. We still need councillor as I am depressed (she states she's fine because of Jesus) and problems exist because of my inability to find work because I didn't apply myself and go finish my post secondary. I had made plenty of empty promises (true) to work on myself but never followed through.

Argument ends with me trying to justify myself. Decided to go anyway. Have two counselling sessions and am told that I am chronically depressed. I need to do something for me. I am burning out. Think of me and if I want to stay in marriage. My son is all my joy. I am crying as I type this.

Yesterday I bring up quiting one job. Not happy. Tells me that I should do it for 6 more months (probation). I tell her that I have made up my mind. Tell her I want trial separation (was thinking of divorce but want to work on marriage). She said ok as long as status quo doesn't change. She is only with me because of our son. I have proven I didn't love her (lack of help during birth and job thing) and that she is waiting for me to step up and follow through on going to school. She is checked out and annoyed that I expect affection as I have lost that right.

I tell her that this is a decision for me and that I will visit but I am not staying. I will come to spend weekends with son but weekdays I'll use to get out of depression. Am told that I have no right to be depressed and that I WILL BE THERE EVERYDAY FOR OUR Son.

Conversation explodes. I am told how spineless I am, and how she is repulsed by me. She hates me. It's over. I won't see my son. I can't take care of him because I can't breastfeed. She's going to keep him. I need to be there to be in his life. Brother and sister in law come by, she tries to get them involved. I refuse. Conversation will turn into me defending my actions. I am having a hard time. I take all the critism in quiet resolve.

I am told she will go to court and force an order to get her trip to norway. I tell her she can do whatever she wants. I leave as I am tired of being yelled at and threatened. She is upset and talking more from anger and sadness. I know that but don't need to take it.

Today I quit my job and am moving out. I have a friend that works legal and informed me not to lawyer up right away and not sign anything.

I have to stop as I am too sad to type and feelings like crying. All my friends offer support and I'll be moving my stuff later this week. I am worried about my son and feeling apprehensive of being near my wife."