All well and good, just listening to Spotify (free of course, I'm poor), when all of a sudden I get a delightful advert telling me that "only 30%" of the music industry consists of women! 30%! Oh no! It's almost as if more males have the metaphorical balls to put themselves out there, in the same way that men have the metaphorical balls to ask for more pay rises, less time off, do more dangerous jobs. You know, as official statistics have shown many a time. But no, I'm a piece of shit, disgusting, sexist, penis-owning dickhead who hates women because of women's choices in the music industry.

Smirnoff, kindly fuck yourselves.