If you read The Red Pill, you’ve probably seen guys slagging open and poly relationships because those guys are thinking of themselves as the dude in the relationship with a chick who is going to get laid by a new guy (this debate happened a couple days ago, but I can't link directly to the conversation). Or a bunch of new guys. Whatever. While she’s doing that, he doesn’t have the game to go sleep with new chicks. He might be subsidizing her financially. The comments from those guys slag open relationships as a way for chicks to do hypergamy. I’ve seen many of these and responded to some, and now I realize why the conversations go as they do.

I, on the other hand, look at open and poly relationships as a possible game tool. I also advocate that men don’t marry or cohabitate. Marriage is a system for transferring resources from a man to a woman for the sake of raising children, but that system broke down a long time ago for reasons too long to get into here: Real World Divorce explains in detail why men should not marry today, under almost any circumstance. A legally married guy should never do open or poly.

(Before someone points this out, I’ll acknowledge that yes, in some ways “open relationships” and “poly relationships” are different, but for players the distinction is irrelevant.)

For a game-aware guy in the superior position, however, “open” relationships are a handy contrivance to increase sexual availability and keep FWBs / lovers going over the longer term. As every guy who has ever lost chicks to the “Where is this going?” conversation knows, most chicks think they want marriage. Some genuinely do but many don’t; they’ve just been told by society since they were little girls that marriage is the right thing to do. The “Where is this going?” conversation kills most uncommitted relationships and even many non-cohabitating relationships. Sleeping with a chick for a couple months, until she’s into you, then taking her to sex clubs or similar venues, and building up the idea of consensual non-monogamy in her mind, can retain her, increase novelty, and make it somewhat easier to sleep with new chicks.

Open or poly is a way to keep her on the rotation while forestalling her dropping out. In my view it is still better to catch and release older women who want families, but the open or poly frame can help make a woman’s forebrain align enough with her hindbrain to make her stick around. A guy must make sure a typical woman’s primeval hindbrain and recent, reasoning forebrain agree with each other, if she’s going to be more than a one-night stand or short fling. The poly system is a way of making her intellectual framework agree with what she is doing sexually. Without that framework, most chicks will eventually dump a guy who won’t marry or commit. Almost no one thinks for themselves or questions the society they live in.

At the same time, chicks have lots of naughty fantasies they generally won’t share with other people, including, frequently, group sex fantasies. Nancy Friday’s books (fucking filthy and great for that reason), the success of 50 Shades of Grey, and the entire romance novel industry show this. Many chicks will act on those fantasies in a given space (spring break, Vegas, bachelorette parties, while drinking) but then deny them to themselves and to others later. Poly is an alternate system that can allow a chick to tell herself that what she’s doing is okay and even desirable. A guy who is discreet and non-judgmental can often draw these feelings out of her.

Bi women also make great wingmen.

This situation reminds me of the Krauser post, Reveal vs Restructure, which I have referenced before because it clarifies a lot of online debates,

So why the divergence in opinion? I think it comes down to which side of this divide you fall on. Is your Journey a process of:

  • Uncovering a pre-existing SMV and personality that is attractive to women, or;
  • Ridding yourself of a Pussy Repellent virus and then building an attractive man from scratch.

The [trainee Chads] are normal men with normal social skills and outlook and inhabit bodies that are reasonably attractive to a wide range of women. Some will require more work than others but all are building on a strong base. It’s like cooking a meal starting with fresh organic high quality ingredients. These men already have decent value, they just lack a Value Delivery Mechanism. Teaching them game is like having an out-of-shape teenage Usain Bolt show up on his first day of Learn To Sprint school. They have to put in the work but the rewards are almost immediate. There’s never any real struggle.

In contrast, [frustrated chumps] are a broken mess and the older they are upon discovering game the more traumatic the transformation. Whereas tChad just needs a daygame model and a shove in the back to start opening, fChump needs a complete overhaul of his entire personality and lifestyle.

If you read about game online, this distinction and the endless debates it engenders will be apparent. Guys starting from a very low point have a way different experience than guys starting from a normal point.

I see a similar distinction among the few who look at open relationships from a game-aware perspective, like myself, as a tool for retention and novelty, versus the more common outlook who see open relationships from the perspective of a guy whose wife, girlfriend, or partner wants to sleep around on him. He knows he likely doesn’t have the skill to seduce and sleep with new women, while women interested in casual or semi-casual sex have no problem finding it. ","selftext_html":"

If you read The Red Pill, you’ve probably seen guys slagging open and poly relationships because those guys are thinking of themselves as the dude in the relationship with a chick who is going to get laid by a new guy (this debate happened a couple days ago, but I can't link directly to the conversation). Or a bunch of new guys. Whatever. While she’s doing that, he doesn’t have the game to go sleep with new chicks. He might be subsidizing her financially. The comments from those guys slag open relationships as a way for chicks to do hypergamy. I’ve seen many of these and responded to some, and now I realize why the conversations go as they do.

I, on the other hand, look at open and poly relationships as a possible game tool. I also advocate that men don’t marry or cohabitate. Marriage is a system for transferring resources from a man to a woman for the sake of raising children, but that system broke down a long time ago for reasons too long to get into here: Real World Divorce explains in detail why men should not marry today, under almost any circumstance. A legally married guy should never do open or poly.

(Before someone points this out, I’ll acknowledge that yes, in some ways “open relationships” and “poly relationships” are different, but for players the distinction is irrelevant.)

For a game-aware guy in the superior position, however, “open” relationships are a handy contrivance to increase sexual availability and keep FWBs / lovers going over the longer term. As every guy who has ever lost chicks to the “Where is this going?” conversation knows, most chicks think they want marriage. Some genuinely do but many don’t; they’ve just been told by society since they were little girls that marriage is the right thing to do. The “Where is this going?” conversation kills most uncommitted relationships and even many non-cohabitating relationships. Sleeping with a chick for a couple months, until she’s into you, then taking her to sex clubs or similar venues, and building up the idea of consensual non-monogamy in her mind, can retain her, increase novelty, and make it somewhat easier to sleep with new chicks.

Open or poly is a way to keep her on the rotation while forestalling her dropping out. In my view it is still better to catch and release older women who want families, but the open or poly frame can help make a woman’s forebrain align enough with her hindbrain to make her stick around. A guy must make sure a typical woman’s primeval hindbrain and recent, reasoning forebrain agree with each other, if she’s going to be more than a one-night stand or short fling. The poly system is a way of making her intellectual framework agree with what she is doing sexually. Without that framework, most chicks will eventually dump a guy who won’t marry or commit. Almost no one thinks for themselves or questions the society they live in.

At the same time, chicks have lots of naughty fantasies they generally won’t share with other people, including, frequently, group sex fantasies. Nancy Friday’s books (fucking filthy and great for that reason), the success of 50 Shades of Grey, and the entire romance novel industry show this. Many chicks will act on those fantasies in a given space (spring break, Vegas, bachelorette parties, while drinking) but then deny them to themselves and to others later. Poly is an alternate system that can allow a chick to tell herself that what she’s doing is okay and even desirable. A guy who is discreet and non-judgmental can often draw these feelings out of her.

Bi women also make great wingmen.

This situation reminds me of the Krauser post, Reveal vs Restructure, which I have referenced before because it clarifies a lot of online debates,

So why the divergence in opinion? I think it comes down to which side of this divide you fall on. Is your Journey a process of:

  • Uncovering a pre-existing SMV and personality that is attractive to women, or;

  • Ridding yourself of a Pussy Repellent virus and then building an attractive man from scratch.

The [trainee Chads] are normal men with normal social skills and outlook and inhabit bodies that are reasonably attractive to a wide r