My last LTR was with this hippie-punk chick. In a purely physical sense, she was a solid 8. But she diminished her own value by wearing tacky clothes, and sporting an array of ugly tattoos. She even deliberately kept her hair in bad shape as a sort of "fuck the man" statement.

Still, I thought the world of her. Despite the Red-pill awareness I had gained over the past two years, I fell back into oneitis. I had never experienced someone so affectionate and sexual before. She was all over my dick from week one, and her sexual appetite kept me in a foggy mental haze of mild satisfaction. I overlooked an abundance of glaring red flags, even beyond her "style."

Such as:

  1. Her father had been an abusive drunk.
  2. She had a codependent relationship with her mom, who was a lazy and spoiled woman who got money from her estranged husband. And she was horrible with money, and my ex frequently had to bail her out. It was like dating a single mother, except her child was her mom. Gross.
  3. She had a major drinking problem.
  4. Her finances were in shambles between her drinking and supporting her mom, and her job paid shit.

As time wore on, my "wonderful" girlfriend began to reveal her character. Mean-drunk episodes began happening. I handled them well, not letting her get a rise out of me, and holding my frame, but they were annoying and time consuming. At a certain point you just want to go to bed and not deal with a raging alcoholic idiot.

Then, she kept getting on my case about wanting to spend more time together. We were already spending 3-4 days together a week. But she kept hounding me. A few times, she drunk-dialed me. When I didn't answer, she barraged me with texts about how "she was done," and other drunken nonsense.

It was all talk. When I spoke to her the next day she was just giving me more shit, "You should have answered, you should have been there for me yaddda yadda." But she never left. All her actions pointed towards trying to monopolize my time.

So I would acquiesce somewhat to placate her and get her off my back. She'd be happy for a few days, then it was some other bullshit.

This extended to my male friends too. "You never invite me to hang out with your friends, but I invite you to EVERYTHING." Which wasn't true, I invited her to plenty of social outings with friends. But I also guarded certain activities to be just for myself and my buds.

For every inch I gave her, she took a mile. I felt like I was compromising myself each time, and each time I stepped further into her frame. She had this "all or nothing" mentality. Either, I play by her rules, or it's over. I had honestly never seen a woman be so transparent with this sort of behavior, but also act as if this behavior was 100% the correct way to be. Combined with her drinking, a drunk episodes, it was clear she was more like her father than she'd ever admit to herself.

The reality is that with women like that, there's no pleasing them. They want to control and dominate the relationship to suite their exact preferences. Shit escalated. She had a drinking problem, and there were a sequence of nights that ended with her in a foul mood, saying all sorts of disrespectful and demeaning shit. Her true character was revealed, and it was total shit.

That, combined with her overbearing and controlling nature, finally snapped me out of my complacency. I broke it off with her after six months of dealing with her bullshit.

Ultimately though, this was all my fault. I saw the red flags up front, but I still dove into the relationship. I willingly slipped back into a beta mindset to placate a damaged woman. I compromised my values in order to fit her lifestyle of excessive drinking and leisure time.

While it would be easy to blame her and criticize her, it would serve no purpose other than to keep me in a beta-victim mentality. There is nothing to be gained from being angry at this woman. She was transparent about who she was from the start. From day one, it was on me if I let myself get tangled up with such a low-value woman.

So that was it. After a decade of serial monogamy and beta-ization, I finally hammered the last nail in my beta coffin. I will no longer succumb to one-itis, nor will I place the pursuit of women above my own development as a man.

The problem was that I had resisted full immersion in the Red Pill because I kept thinking, "Surely, there is some balance between TRP and the broader cultural norms. Surely, I can find someone out there who defies TRP's view of women." Nope. The cold reality is that all women behave the same on a fundamental level when it comes to sex and relationships. It doesn't matter what her outward-facing social paradigm is, she still has the same female brain driving her behavior as every other woman on the planet.

So at this point, the fog has lifted. I no longer have women on a pedestal. It has taken ten years, and five brutally unsuccesful LTR's to learn this lesson. Unfortunately the roots of my beta conditioning had woven deep into my subconscious. Undoing that conditioning and completely rebuilding myself will take a ton of work. But I have finally made it to the point where I am putting myself first, above all others. And I will never put another woman before myself again.

TLDR: Kill the boy and let the man be born.