Help me r/MGTOW

TFCNU · 2016-07-22T18:55:25+00:00

It's not that the goal is unattainable. If you're only here because you don't think a woman will settle down and have kids with you, we won't be able to help. If you're starting to realise that your goal is undesirable, that's a different story. Everyone struggles to find purpose in life - married men, single men, married women, single women: we're all trying to find purpose. Reproduction might be a worthy life goal for an insect but humans often crave something more.

toysjoe · 2016-07-22T18:11:01+00:00

Getting married and have 2 kids - is that your goal or is that society's goal for you? Think about that.

If you had no obligations to anything, what would you do? It's not depressing. It's freeing.

JStheHammer · 2016-07-22T17:36:29+00:00

Change your goals. Develop hobbies, have fun.

Agamand · 2016-07-22T18:41:08+00:00

"Happily Married with 2 kids" is an unattainable goal for everyone.

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-07-22T18:40:15+00:00

It's attainable, until she divorce rapes you.

I feel good when I meet my other goals. Money in the bank, debt paid off, building things, solving problems.

A2145 · 2016-07-23T05:33:38+00:00

Thanks for all the suggestions and help everybody. I think I may start down the MGTOW path, although being happy is something I'm struggling with at the moment, and finding a meaningful goal is a problem as well. This did make me feel a lot better about myself and my percieved 'failure'. Thank you

cashmoney_x · 2016-07-22T20:40:16+00:00

What no one in society will tell you (except for us guys here) is that the things that made you happy before puberty are STILL the things that will make you the happiest. Sports, hanging with friends, hiking, working on cars, riding a bike, playing video games until 3am, whatever.

The wife and kids mostly just suck up money and time and stop you from doing the things you love.

Jcart105 · 2016-07-22T17:54:56+00:00

Make long-term goals that are actually challenging and rewarding for you. Other than that, just live life man — remember, it's men who have to do all of the work in the dating and relationship scene, so unless you're unable to stop yourself from making an active effort at doing as such, you'll be fine. If you have good friends, keep them close. If you have a good family, keep them close as well.

On a side note, kids are possible to have (though pricy) if you're a MGTOW through surrogate mothers or adoption. Do your best to make sure you get all litigation work sorted before going down that path though, especially with surrogate mothers.

aanarchist · 2016-07-22T21:49:49+00:00

what did you enjoy doing when you were a kid? you gotta think back and find who you were before the programming took over.

Cetameta · 2016-07-23T16:13:32+00:00

Just a reminder to you and others: MGTOW is not a strategy for happiness. It's risk avoidance to give you a fighting chance in a society that demonizes you and subsidizes the wealth and needs of others at your expense.

CClavin · 2016-07-25T02:31:00+00:00

No offence, but getting married and having 2 kids is a pretty low and basic goal anyway. Even the poorest, uneducated dirt farmer in a 3rd world country can achieve that. I'll bet you have dreams and aspirations beyond just that, go after one or more of them. Set the bar higher for yourself and you'll be surprised at what you can do.

abandonedthrowaway32 · 2016-07-27T05:29:56+00:00

You're not alone, brother. There are many like you who initially wanted to settle down and have a family life.

But think about it this way, you have been raised to think that family life can only be successful with trust... but how can you be sure that she'll trust you when there are so many ways she can control you? In other words, she can falsely accuse you of abuse, force you into an 18-year long child support contract, cheat on you, divorce you and take your house/half your stuff and abort your kids without your knowledge with the full backing of the legal system and you can't do jack shit about it. Trust is such a rare commodity in this day and age, are you ready to put that much trust in someone and just "hope" that they won't turn on you?

Look at it another way, like a contract. You provide her accomodation, a free car, monthly spending money, kids, time and love... what does she provide you in return? Kids? Those kids are hers because "she carried them for 9 months". Money? ROFL she wouldn't give you a penny because "men are always the breadwinners". You give her everything, and she gives you nothing in return. I don't hate women, but I will not subject myself to this rigged game, would you?

And even if you don't get married, there is always another way. Your whole life has been about finding ways, this is just another obstacle and its a matter of time before you find a way past it. Just don't despair over someone who won't respect you for who you are.

Chris_Danger_ · 2016-07-22T18:26:53+00:00

First of all, you need new goals. Suffering is caused by expectations not being met, so get rid of all that and you'll be happy.

Easier said than done, right? Not really. Stick around here, absorb what's being said about the true nature of women, read how men are being screwed over every day, and soon you will see that "being married with 2 kids" isn't nearly as perfect as it sounds, and that you'll be much happier doing your own thing.

Be free, and enjoy the benefits.

TVTestPattern · 2016-07-22T20:54:31+00:00

It's the experience that matters, not the result.

All the accomplishments & aquisitions of a lifetime will pale in comparison to your memory of the actual experience of achieving them.

After you have lived your life, you won't give a flying rat's ass about all the stuff and recognition you have accumulated; and until you understand this you will be unhappy.

By all means learn, grow, fight, win/lose all that stuff... that is the destination. The outcome is very thin gruel by comparison.

Thebigsausagepizza69 · 2016-07-22T20:56:55+00:00

Go out and meet the women around you. Seriously ask yourself, can I spend the rest of my life with one of these women? Can I have children with this woman? Etc. Etc. If you truly wake up you'll realize that women like that are few and far between.

CinematicRacer14 · 2016-07-22T22:09:11+00:00

Read the book Mastery.

realpra · 2016-07-23T00:48:50+00:00

Surrogate children or something like it. Find understanding from friends (a type of love) and family.

Do something you like in your life.

Never give up, just make new goals!

anonymousyam · 2016-07-23T02:46:15+00:00

Okay you need to see through some stuff here even without the divorce laws that were made to ass rape men for the state you most likely would not be happily married unless you turn out to be the small minority of couples.

You need to understand some more things like

1 You don't need marriage to have a family you could if you want to just knock a chick up but don't tie the knot. Or you could potentially just get a surgate if you really don't like the risks of knocking a chick up.

And 2 if marriage is the only thing you desired in life then you don't have any actual dream or goal in life. You need to think alot about what you want to do with the rest of your life aside from marriage and kids.

Finally 3 as long as you are an asshole you will get women.

Zombocom1911 · 2016-07-23T03:25:07+00:00

Sorry, Can't relate to that. I always viewed those two as women's goals, to be perfectly honest. I didn't grow up playing with Barbie and Ken in a doll house either.

samirahmad2594 · 2016-07-23T04:18:59+00:00

That is one shitty goal, are you autistic? No seriously, that's a bad goals. Goals are: financial success, mental success, physical success etc. like that, not being a pussy whooped pussy beggar.

bobsmitharmour1 · 2016-07-23T08:09:59+00:00

u realise after 18 yrs the kids are adults and your back at square 1 with other mgtow men except u have less wealth and you didn't get to go on as many overseas holidays or buy expensive stuff for yourself.

oldredder · 2016-07-23T09:37:48+00:00

We can't help you.

You have to help yourself.

You have to read, learn, think and live until you realize the other goal was bullshit - or you want to kill yourself - or you hook up with a dumb broad that robs you of your life & freedom then you want to kill yourself and you do.

assumenothing8787 · 2016-07-23T11:44:56+00:00

My life goal was turning water into wine. How can i live a happy life without turning water into wine?

ryeshoes · 2016-07-23T09:13:18+00:00

What were your plans after you get married and have two kids? Was it just afking until you died?

Pretend you already did that and they moved out. Then do whatever it is you were going to do.

Eze-Wong · 2016-07-23T15:18:33+00:00

If you're AWALT, I think you're safer staying MGTOW life long. Learn to love something else. We're all brainwashed to want a family. Just got to release the shackles of our propaganda and learn to love... painting or something.

But if you believe that the problem is the cultural, legal, and governmental problems... the end goal is to save enough money and start a family in another country. (Sandman has good reasons this is a shit idea) or go with surrogacy (but I think this has a buttfuck ton of issues as well, and at that point might as well roll the dice on marriage)

Ultimately we are MGTOW because we see these options, and still come to the conclusion there are no good options. Hence MGTOW.

You could always search for a NAWALT. But in order to find a NAWALT, you cannot be that attractive in a traditional sense, and would have to have known her for a long time and built the relationship as a friendship first.

Let me explain. I'm a semi-attractive guy. I look kind of badass, tall, tats, smoked, etc. I garner a lot of attention from women when I go out. I've gone out with a lot of HB8-9's and most of them being rich pampered girls who have daddy money. And therein lies the problem. Because I'm physically attractive, I've always pulled girls who are fundamentally broken and are only attracted to me because of my looks. And for that reason, they will easily come and go if they find someone that is more physically attractive at any time. The same goes for money, commonality, charisma, funniness etc.

For whatever reason a woman is with you, if there's another man who can do it better, you immediately lose your pull over her, and she will simply branch swing to any man better than you, or even if he's worse than you simply because he's different and new. (know how women have 30 pairs of shoes?). So using any form of traditional attraction methods immediately precludes her to the AWALT category.

Whereas NAWALT women are loyal and dependable but do not fall for the same mechanisms as AWALT women do. They aren't interested in money, looks, commonality, charisma etc. They are loyal to you because they value loyalty for it's own sake and family.

Good fucking luck finding someone like that in today's society that manufactures all these karadashin whores. So in order to find a NAWALT, you'd need to find someone who values loyalty and family first. And the liklihood she isn't into money or all the other sources of attraction (not married) isn't in the bible belt, doesn't look like she fell down an ugly tree and is accessible to you like on match.com or through an acquaintance ... is wishing upon a star.

I cling to it merely because it's the last glimmer of hope, but I don't cling tightly.

2016-07-22T18:16:10+00:00

I think we should utilize adoption. It is a very selfless act especially with there being so many kids with out homea and parents in the world.

Maybe from a country like India or Tibet

squidracer · 2016-07-22T18:04:10+00:00

Have a kid out of wedlock. Sure you still run the risk of paying child support if she leaves, but she can't take your house or 401k..

Just know going into it what the possible outcome will be. Calculate what your child support would be and decide if your willing to pay that amount every month to have kids or not

sadbasturd99 · 2016-07-22T17:48:23+00:00

I am 41 and struggling very hard with this. I have been in so much pain for so many years. The trite and stupid replies you will find here may be very painful but keep in mind no one here probably has any answers.

There is an author "Russ Harris" that seems to have some answers in this area. I have been reading him lately and seems promising.

Title	Help me r/MGTOW
Author	A2145
Upvotes	13
Comments	45
Date	July 22, 2016 5:30 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/4u3xeg/help_me_rmgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/help-me-rmgtow.629397 https://theredarchive.com/post/629397

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