Before TRP, I was socially awkward as they came. I felt helpless when it came to social interactions (and fucking women), and had no idea how to improve myself. I kept looking for the secret cheat codes that PUAs seemed to offer. I tried all sorts of tricks and gimmicks, some of the time they worked (other times not so much), and I'm here now to share with you what I've learned after a few rejections, numbers, and a good numbers of lays.


Before I get into the meat and potatoes of this post the biggest advice I have for opening and closing a girl is this: Just do it. I have a lot of friends who second guess themselves or make excuses to avoid putting their image/ego/reputation on the line. If you're dealing with these kinds of negative feelings I suggest you read my post: It's okay to feel like shit. It's okay to be afraid, it's okay to be nervous. I've opened (and fucked) a lot of girls and still get nervous from time to time when approaching. When dealing with approach anxiety remember that:

  • Getting rejected is a good thing: It saves you from wasting time on girls that aren't interested in you.

  • Failure is a learning experience, not a black mark on your character.

  • You're honestly not that fucking important: If someone rejects you the world will keep spinning.

  • Pain/suffering is the price we pay for growth: If you want to improve your confidence/abilities/character It's going to take sacrifice. If you're not willing to endure pain or embarrassment you will never change, and you will never achieve anything worth while in life, forever remaining a pussy.

  • Approach because you're interested, not to prove something to yourself. I had this problem for quite a while. I always had the mindset that I needed to prove myself by approaching this girl/these girls. That phase was one of the loneliest and saddest times of my life. If you're doing something similar to what I was, it's most likely out of insecurity, Not genuine interest.

  • If you're interested approach: She's hot (and want to fuck her) is the only reason you need. You don't need to justify any other reason to approach her.

  • You don't need to approach every single girl: This goes with above said point. If you feel like you need to approach every single girl you're attracted to. It's probably because you're trying to prove something to yourself. If you are approaching girls regularly you can let a few get past you.

  • Just do it. Stop making excuses and talk to her.

  • Build lasting change through repetition: If you only go out once a week and introduce yourself to one girl, things are going to be fucking rough for you, for a long fucking time. If you approach one (or three) person(s) a day for a month, then it starts to become normal. You will get more comfortable and better at approaching/gaming women.

  • Approach anyone, because you want to. Guys, Girls, Old People, cool people, lame people, (not kids). The more people you approach, the more normal it becomes to you (see above point). The more conversations you have, the more your conversation skills improve. The key here is frequency: You don't want to approach 20 people one night then call it quits. Make an effort to talk to new people around you. It's okay if you're awkward. Do it because you want to improve your social skills, not to prove something to your ego. (edit:)

  • Learn to love approaching. When I approach a women I truly find beautiful and sexually attracted to, I'm nervous. Instead of running away from these feelings I embrace them, "It's okay for me to feel this way." Honestly there's something about staring in the eyes of a beautiful women that's refreshing, holding her attention for however short or long it may be. There's a rush to be had, and enjoyed when talking to beautiful women. Don't let this rush keep you from your desires, let it motivate you.

  • Use smaller units of measurement for success: You cannot control how others receive you. The only thing you have influence over is yourself (Read my post on Influence vs Control if you're interested in this). If you did your part and approached her, that's a success. If you got her number, that's another success. Try not to measure your interactions in broad senses: We didn't fuck so it was a total failure.


1) Your first impression will make or break you. People make first impressions to circumvent getting to know a person to answer important questions quickly: Who is this person, what do they want, will they hurt me, can I trust them? You've got 7 seconds to make your first impression. Once decided, these molds are hard to break (Think: getting out of the friend zone). People are quick to judge whether they admit it or not, so how can we influence others to have a positive perception of us? So first there's what they see: Your appearance (clothes, style, hight, physique), How you carry yourself (Body language, posture), and how you interact with others (How well received you are, and how comfortable you look being yourself). There are a lot of ways you can improve your first impression, a lot of it is how you act as a person (passive behavior). It's not something you can largely influence by acting (imo). Anyways this part is getting kind of long so I need to move on.

  • For above stated reasons don't approach her from behind. If her first impression is of you scaring her, it's not a very good one.

2) The 80/20 rule: does she want you to open her? Have you ever been approached by someone? Maybe a salesman, or a homeless person asking for money? I'm going to go out on a hunch here and assume if you aren't interested in getting haggled by a homeless person, you aren't going to receive them well. Where as if you have a lot of sympathy for homeless people, you might be interested in what they have to say and offer them some of your hard earned money. While this depends somewhat on the circumstance, it's relatively the same with women. It's quite possible she's not interested in being opened at this current moment in time: she just broke up with her abusive ex, she just joined the feminist cult, her mom died, you get the picture. The other part is if she was interested in you at all in the first place. If she already checked you out and decided she's not interested, you're going to be working up hill to get anywhere with her. You can change peoples opinions of you with good game and personality, but I find it easier to pursue people that have some interest in me from the get go.

3) There are no secret words to get you laid I've tried long openers, short openers, complex openers, and simple openers. I'll tried all sorts of bullshit, tricks and gimmicks. How you are perceived is based largely off your first impression, which is based of your appearance and actions. How you are received is largely based on how the person you are approaching is feeling at that very moment. Only a small portion (but still significant enough) of WHAT you say matters. The majority is HOW you say it. Using try hard openers to side step your insecurities does not address the issues you are having with opening women. It does not address your lack of confidence or social competence. Where as being open and honest and putting your neck on the chopping block shows an enormous amount of confidence. Being direct in this manner also shows an, "I don't give a fuck what you think" attitude more than using some gimmick or trick.

Senario 1: I'm being open an honest with you, this is who I am and I am prepared for you to accept me or reject me on the spot.

Senario 2: I'm scared and not confident in my abilities, I've spent x amount of time thinking up this joke/opener/whatever in hope that you will accept me.

4) Give her hamster enough to stop worrying and start spinning. I mentioned earlier the biggest questions people have when being approached are: Who are you (are you worth fucking?), what do you want (Do you want to fuck me?), will you hurt me (or embarrass me in front of my friends?), can I trust you (to fuck me good)? You can answer these questions without squashing your sense of mystery. In fact you can answer these questions DIRECTLY and still spin her hamster wheel.

My opener is this: Hi my name is ____, nice to meet you. (Handshake) or something similar. I usually don't get too fancy at it works OK for me. I will usually use this opener when the other person has already noticed me at a bar or party, vs approaching unnoticed at a grocery store or something similar.

Edit: For opening girls on the street, Just walk up next to them, and say anything really. I have a buddy who's an expert at this and he told me, "I don't think about what I'm going to say, I just do it." The key here is to be casual and cool as a cucumber.

This might sound stupid simple, that's because it is. Like I said earlier, when I approach a women (if she's noticed me before hand) what I say to her has very little of what I say with how she responds to me. She's already judged me up and down the wall with a myriad of different factors: How well received am I by other people (social status/aptitude), How do I carry/dress/style myself, and how comfortable am I being myself (more on this later).

5) She has no choice but to be opened. Despite what feminists and all the BPers say, women are not "the same" as men. Especially when it comes to social interactions. The fact of the matter is, it takes an enormous amount of confidence and balls to approach someone, put yourself out there, and face rejection, over and over again. The majority of women lack do not have the confidence to even CONSIDER approaching another person. I've heard over and over again, "I wish he would talk [approach and open] me. Women don't even consider it an option to go up to someone and talk to the person they like/have interest in. That's why they resort to oogly eyes from across the room. To them, they literally have no choice but to be opened by you.

6) If you think she's giving you signals, she probably is, but don't wait for them: Don't wait at all to introduce yourself. The best thing you can do for yourself is introduce yourself right away. If you wait and start to think about it, most likely you'll start to doubt yourself or worry how you'll be received by her. The best way to over come this is to be honest with yourself, "I want to talk with this girl" and do it.

7) Use social dynamics to your advantage. When at a bar or party atmosphere, I almost always introduce myself to a guy first. Guys are way easier to talk to as there's no expectations and usually they're happy to talk with you too. I do this for a couple of reasons:

  • Talking with a guy right off the bat helps me get used to the atmosphere of the club/party/whatever. If I'm a little nervous It gives me some time to catch my breath and calm down, Like getting used to cold water after you plunge in.

  • Other people will see you socializing, and will think more highly of your social skills (and you). The concept here is preselection bias: If 3 people are already talking with you, one person who isn't talking with you sees you in a group who's enjoying your company, said person will generally assume that you are a pleasant person with enjoyable company.

  • You make friends during the party who will say "hi" to you later - this is huge. Let's say I've made a couple of friends at the party, and now I'm talking to some new people. If those friends decide to greet me while I'm in a conversation they raise my social status by saying, "I enjoyed your company earlier, even though we just met tonight. You're more interesting than other people here so I want to be with you and not them." - of course no one explicitly states this, but it's the underlying mechanic. This certain aspect won't help you make a first impression, but it can help build attraction and raise your status to those you're talking with.

8) Body language. When I first heard that the majority of communication was non-verbal - I was surprised and thought that who ever came up with this was full of shit. So I decided to make an experiment. I tried to talk as little as possible during a few conversations just see how it went. I tried a few different things ( some of them awkward some of them fun) hand gestures, faces, mimicking her, and intense eye contact. Even though these conversations were quite, they felt loud and powerful. I tried this a lot of times and it would be hard to explain everything, but now I'm in full belief that your body speaks more than your mouth. here are a couple points I would like to add:

  • Using less words during a conversation can make it very intense

  • Sitting in silence while looking into someones eyes can build a lot of sexual tension

  • Not blabbering the entire time can be perceived as confidence - it's not your job to entertain them or hold up the conversation

  • Intentions, desires, and ideas can be communicated without saying a word.

My theory on why this exists is as follows: At some point in time we weren't able to communicated with an advanced language that we have today, along with needing a way to communicate with someone who doesn't speak our particular language. Hence non verbal communication.

There are quite a few things you can do to improve your body language in a good way:

  • Strong Eye contact: Make them look away first. Don't look at the ground.

  • Good/correct posture - makes you look more confident, healthier, and confident.

  • Less/no fidgeting: People who fidget look like they lack control over themselves, or do so because they're nervous. Standing still shows control and confidence.

  • Take up more space: Stand/sit/whatever in a way that takes up as much space as practical. Makes you appear larger and more dominate.

9) Conversation/communication If anything else, I would say that this part needs a post all on it's own. I enjoy talking with people, I can only offer what works for me. I try not to talk with people I don't have any interest in. This will eventually show in the conversation and the other person will notice. Besides, why are you talking with someone you aren't interested in? Yes, "She's cute and I want to fuck her" is all the reason you need to talk to her. Just do it.

  • Be genuine: If you're being fake it's going to show through. Lies are easier to spot than you think. Women (in general) are more skilled at men at verbal communication. Your best course of action is to be honest. From time to time I will bend, or exaggerate stories for an effect, but I won't lie about my interests or how/what I think about things.

  • Be honest with your intentions/actions: If you want to fuck her then don't try to hide it for fear of rejection. The sooner you get a definite "no" the quicker you can move on to someone who will tell you "yes".

  • Connect by expressing yourself and opening up: Men like to communicate with facts, but women are all about feelz. Play eye to eye by expressing why you think you do about certain things - in good judgement, don't just open up with that time your uncle your uncle touched you. If you like music, explain why: I enjoy writing songs because it helps me express how I'm feeling. I enjoy riding motorcycles because I love how free it feels: It makes me feel free and alive being close to death. Explaining why you think the way you do adds a lot of depth into a conversation. This will also polarize people you're talking with, either they'll agree with you or they won't.

  • Conversation Topics: I think that any positive (doesn't make either one of you feel bad when talking about it) topic is good. If you like cats, but she hates them because of that one time; this would be a bad topic. If talking about rough anal sex makes you both smile, why not? As for more specific topics, I prod for hobbies, interests, and dreams. I try to find things we have in common, but It's not, "Oh you like that? I like that too!" sort of thing. Try to stay away from only asking questions, You don't want things to feel like an interview. Statements and playful accusations are your friend. You can never go wrong with a good sense of humor.

(Edit:) * If you run out of shit to say or freeze up: If both of you are staring awkwardly into each other's eyes with nothing to say, try to enjoy the moment. It's not your job to entertain her. You can either say, "It was nice to meet you." And eject or you can ask her for her number, "I'm out of things to say but it was nice meeting you, would you like to talk again sometime?" (Yes/no) "How can I get a hold of you?"

10) Touch her early, Touch her often (kino). During the conversation it's important to touch her almost right away from the get go (handshake). This set's a precedence that she's okay being touched by you. If you're uncomfortable with this I recommend just putting your hand on someones shoulder briefly when emphasizing a point. The key here is to make it feel natural - like you've done it a million times before. If you watch your hand as you put it on someones shoulder/elbow/whatever it's going to make it seem really fucking weird. Just look them in the eye and pat their shoulder/whatever (to start). Once you get the hang of this you realize it's not that big of a deal to put your hand on a girls leg, or her ass (without making yourself look awkward).Again this is something that I could write a whole post on, but I think a little goes a long way. I find that girls that are receptive to getting touched (or kino in general) are more receptive to getting fucked. A little goes a long way. The key is to make it seem natural.

11) Close with a number, kiss, or new location. When you decide to close is up to you. I'm going to be focusing mostly on number closes. I try to close right when the tensions at it's highest, or right when I feel things are starting to calm down. This is not that something that can be measured in time for example: try to kiss her/get her number/take her to a new place after 20 minutes. Usually I stay in a conversation for as long as I am enjoying myself, and when I'm starting to lose interest I will ask for her number: "Hey give me your number" "Add me on (widely used instant messaging app)" or what I normally go for, "Do you want to talk again sometime" (yes) "How can I get ahold of you?" Any answer less than "here's my number" and I'm out. I don't have time to try to persuade someone to give me their number. People that aren't interested in giving me their number will give me some round about answer, "We can just meet here again!". People who want to talk with me again will just give me their number or equivalent (people don't use cellphones [texting] much here in Japan, It's all about IM apps).

  • If I number close I'll usually message them the next day say saying, "Hey it was nice meeting you", but honestly I don't think this is critical. If someone's interested in you, they're interested (whether you message them the next day or a few days later). I usually do this out of personal preference, so I can delete uninterested customers from my phone asap.

  • If she's giving you The EyesTM, you can try going for a kiss. Just because she turns you down once, doesn't mean you shouldn't try again. She might be telling you, "I'm not ready to be kissed right now, or in this place". I don't normally go for kiss closes for girls I've just met in any other places but clubs, kissing in public here in Japan is pretty taboo (but girls don't seem to care in dark clubs). "If you think you can kiss her, you probably could have 10 minutes ago".

  • If you've managed to kiss close her, you'd be ahead to take her to a different venue (your apartment). Girls don't kiss guys their not sexually attracted to. Again this sort of thing needs a post all on it's own, and this post is already extremely long.


Well Brothers this is the most practical advice I can offer. I hope this helps some, and if you have any suggestions (or noticed something I forgot) I'd love to hear them and will edit the post to include them if I find it's valuable. Otherwise if there are any other questions I'd be happy to try to answer them (via editing the post), or through messages. Good luck and have fun.