My sister (an ESFP, for those into MBTI) does this thing where she will try to see how I react in different scenarios, then try to attach an insecurity to it, along with a narrative of negative intentions that I allegedly must have had in that situation. She always does this whenever it doesn't suit her narrative.

As a bonus, she'll try to find my buttons and push them and use that as a way to push her narrative forward by saying "see, he reacted angrily, obviously it means I'm saying the truth". Or if I don't even acknowledge her bullshit and keep a grin (something I've learned as frame control), she'll use my non-participation in her bullshit to say "wow, you have nothing to say, obviously it's because I'm right".

So for example, I'm the only agnostic in a family of religious people. I always avoid any conversations of religion because it's a ticking time-bomb. Sometimes, my mom will say some shit like "All I want is a son that starts praying again" and I don't even feed into it, I might smile and say "well isn't that nice" and keep eating. But then my sister or her brother-in-law will jump in and start adding fuel to the fire, and then I'm stuck trying to steer my frame between 4 people who all believe in the same religion, while also trying to not get too deep into it to not be disrespectful or get pissed at their level of disrespect. Then, when I see that it's safe to be honest and for example, that my brother-in-law won't get offended, I'll open up a bit about what I truly think. I mean ffs, it's my family still. Big mistake.

My ESFP sister then snaps and claims that I've been planning to take control of the family and assert myself over them by opening up more and more about how I'm a disbeliever and that I'm doing it because I enjoy hurting the people in the family. She says that I'm being an agnostic as a way to go an ego trip. I'm literally like wtf, I've been literally avoiding the topic the whole time. Even my mom who can be pretty emotionally manipulative and is usually on my sister's side actually called my sister toxic.

Is this something to expect with most women, or is my sister just toxic? Are most girls this toxic?