What did you personally do to absolve your abandonment issues/ self worth issues/ feelings of scarcity (that no one else would ever possibly want to be with you or be faithful to you)?

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-06-09T23:28:27+00:00

I learned that all people, including men, have these issues in some way or another. Abandonment issues are almost the norm. And no man is unfaithful because of his partner’s issues. He’s unfaithful because of his own awful choice.

Delicious-Scholar · 2020-06-09T21:42:48+00:00

I made a list that I keep handy of all the things I liked about myself, really liked. Things that have nothing to do with my job or relationship status or the stuff I own. Things about my personality that I knew were intrinsic, regardless of situational interpersonal encounters.

That was a good start.

Also, not to feed a fed horse, but therapy, therapy, therapy. It really helps with perspective.

Primary-Alarm · 2020-06-10T02:10:24+00:00

I started asking myself what kind of life would I want if I never found someone. And then started doing the work to build that life. If someone comes along and fits into my plan, great. If not, oh well. I started doing this about 7 months into a year long intentional break from dating. I'm currently on month 11 and I genuinely am not willing to give up that future life for a man anymore.

I'm currently working on building deeper platonic relationships and being fully present when interacting with people and I already get so much more fulfillment in the little moments of connection with strangers than I ever have with a boyfriend. I hope, one day, this will make for amazing mutual relationship. But it's okay if it doesn't. And I'm sure as fuck not going to settle for someone who isn't being fully present for me.

Most importantly, I know I can be content and happy and fulfilled alone now. So the thought of being abandoned doesn't scare me as much. I know it's a possibility, and it would hurt, but I can recover.

curlygirl507 · 2020-06-09T23:27:11+00:00

Cognitive behavioral therapy.

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-06-10T04:50:54+00:00

I agree with the other commenters recommending therapy. You would benefit tremendously from qualified professional help with these issues. Best of luck sis 💗

finance_lady · 2020-06-10T01:51:15+00:00

I’m going to therapy for these exact things. I’m only 2 sessions in but it’s already helping so much. You should go too. ❤️

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