Hello:

THANK YOU for this community! First off, I (35F) am currently in therapy/counseling after realizing how bad the damage was from my ex. We broke up about 7 months ago and it got UGLY when I left. Recently, I had been dating a HVM (at least I thought he was) and I had a few weak moments where the old hurt bubbled up. He essentially told me (texted) me that "I still seemed like I was hurting from that/those a$$holes" or something and that we should "part on good terms with good memories, which are many, etc." Honestly, I was crushed because it was pretty clear HE was still hung up on issues stemming from his ex-wife from over 5 years prior and other things but said he'd "been down that road too many times before." So, I felt like...what?!? So it's fine for HIM/men to have their issues, but completely unacceptable for ME to have a weak moment or two?!?! I can't give too many details, but we're both in our mid-30s. Ex is late 30s. The HVM didn't say he never wanted to see me again, but right now I'm just feeling like I will never be able to have a normal/functional romantic relationship and that I'll be expected to be supportive/understanding but I can't expect the same.

Other than professional counseling/therapy, what helped you get through the after affects of a LVM and/or an emotional/psychological abuser? Have any of you started dating again and then had those weak moments where old insecurities/feelings bubbled up? Were you able to get a second chance? I'd be very grateful for any advice and thoughts. Thank you. :)