~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
siberiansummer
[–]TaylaBlazeFDS Newbie209 points210 points211 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I mean, I've been on both sides of this. This is what "nice guys" say when opening a door for you didn't equate to a blowjob.
[–]amyechatsThrowaway Account55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah i came here to comment the same. in fact it has happened more times to me that some man has displayed way more investment and commitment towards me than i am comfortable with when we have (atleast from my perspective) been only casually seeing each other.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yessss I was about to comment that I'd recently said this to a guy when he asked me to retroactively help pay for the two dates we'd had, after I said I wasn't interested in him. What a joke.
[–]cyaneyed12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
came here to say exactly that. That's what niceguys say. Ohh, but I did all of this exceptional stuff for you!! Why don't you love me?!!?
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's why we evaluate a series of behaviors. Plenty of people can say similar things but act differently. Nice guys all have one thing in common, entitlement.
If I have a problem with someone giving me what I don't want from them, I release them to find someone who appreciates it.
I do believe there are people who will give just to see you happy. It only becomes a problem for those who don't care.
Bottom line is we need to evaluate who is saying it. Is it coming from a serious trauma? Or is it entitlement? Is it codependency?
[–]xPettyinPinkFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's hardly going to the moon and back.
[–]galian84FDS Apprentice46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, this hit hard. I definitely went out of my way for my ex, and then he would still have the nerve to complain and be ungrateful, and then said "Well I never asked you to do those things for me!"
Yeah. With my boyfriend now, I just mirror the way he treats me, and even though I've done a lot for him (and he does for me), I don't feel like he's ungrateful or is taking advantage.
[–]AnnieandFishFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That’s a real blatant “oh...you’re more invested than I am, and I’m not interested in changing that, sooo..”
[–]ButterYourNiceToastFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The idea that whoever cares the least in a relationship holds the most power is so true.
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
C'mon....may we find relationships that don't need power dynamics based on "not caring"....
[–]ButterYourNiceToastFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never said it was something to shoot for. Just something I've realized. The ones who care the most are often taken for granted and end up chasing the ones who don't, trying to convince them to love them and pay attention to them.
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple[S] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s exactly right
[–][deleted] 83 points84 points85 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol even if they asked you to, they'd still say that
[–]AngelicBastardFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's odd to me how some people's idea of a relationship is a "chore" or "task" they never wanted. If you don't wanna put work into the relationship you're currently in, either:
[–]kaitybubblyFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Definitely heard that before. Never again.
[–]AngelicBastardFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple[S] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly that! Better get out than be in a lukewarm relationship
[–]SleepyPuddle69 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This doesn’t have to do with romance all that much but I NEED to get this out because I’m sure most women here have dealt with similar scenarios and I guess I’m just in need of a little girl talk right now...
ALL of my guy friends, who I grew up with, say this kinda shit when I express how concerned I am for their health! They smoke, drink, party, stay around sketchy people, etc. (I refuse to call them men because a man to me is a male with their priorities straight, they are respectful, well kept, etc.)
I’ve been called bitchy for being concerned for their well being and it seems to be a recurring trend for most women when it comes to guys.
I’m sorry to all of you beautiful gals who’ve had similar experiences, opened up your heart and then been trodden upon. I’m also sorry for using this post to vent, I just hate how women are always labeled as overly emotional drama queens for simply expressing human sympathy and empathy.
Stay safe ladies, don’t trust anyone until you’re sure they’re genuine!
(Edit: sorry for the poor formatting/articulation, I’m very passionate about this and I just needed to get it off my chest!)
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple[S] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah, sis. Stop it. You are not their mother
[–]ppaulappleFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The audacity.
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They don't "ask" yet expect you to do so without them asking.
[–]kaceylola1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awe I'm guilty of saying this. Damn that hurt I'm sorry! 😭
[–]KombuchaaddictFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts
[–]Radtron3000FDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They don't ask but they relish the attention
[–]SyntheticHumor0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk. I don't think it's right to expect someone to have to reciprocate just because you decide to do something nice for them. If I do something nice for someone its because I want to, because it brings me joy to see them happy, not because I want something back from them. Honestly I think it's kinda manipulative and not from the right place if you do it because you want something in return.
Besides, just because you do something nice for someone doesnt mean it's something they wanted you to, and that's just what they're expressing by saying they didnt ask you for that. I know if get really anxious if someone tries to do something for me that I cannot repay. Or if someone does something nice for me that I dont want, because they arent someone I want to be indebted to, or someone i want thinking im indebted to them.
I just really don't like this concept in general. It feels really selfish, and makes it seem like the things we do for the people we care about are done for the wrong reasons. On either side, men and women. People dont owe you anything for doing something for them unless you guys agreed to terms before hand. Interpersonal relationships aren't transactions. And putting that kind of pressure on them just makes them fall apart.
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]TaylaBlazeFDS Newbie209 points210 points211 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]amyechatsThrowaway Account55 points56 points57 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cyaneyed12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xPettyinPinkFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]galian84FDS Apprentice46 points47 points48 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnnieandFishFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ButterYourNiceToastFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ButterYourNiceToastFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 83 points84 points85 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AngelicBastardFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kaitybubblyFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AngelicBastardFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SleepyPuddle69 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple[S] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ppaulappleFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kaceylola1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KombuchaaddictFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Radtron3000FDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SyntheticHumor0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link