Is my marriage to a point of no return?

ragnarockette · 2018-12-29T16:01:17+00:00

It sounds like you have a good man and a desire to make things better. I wouldn't say your marriage is doomed at all.

Why do you feel like you're asexual? Do you masturbate? Did you ever enjoy sex?

misionariaprotectiva · 2018-12-29T03:26:41+00:00

Look into keto. I lost around that amount of weight within 8 months. You can get this under control faster than you think!!! :) You can be in a MUCH better place even by the end of the summer!!! ❤️
Stop thinking about sex as a feminist issue and start thinking about it as one of your husband’s actual, real-life needs. When you acknowledge it as one of your husband’s valid relationship needs, in the same way that emotional support is one of your needs, I think it changes the way you think of it. It is a necessary part of relationship maintenance.
With respect to whether you should initiate: have you tried initiating? What kind of reaction do you get? Alternatively, if that doesn’t seem like a good idea, try asking him directly. Tell him a version of what you’ve said here. This is essentially what I would say, but tailor it for yourself: “I realize there are some things in our relationship that I need to change. I want to start getting back in shape, and I want to be more attentive to your needs. Are there any needs that you have that are going unmet...?”

sidus_3 · 2018-12-29T03:25:04+00:00

Does your husband want to end the marriage? You don't say that he has mentioned any concerns or issues. You said he is fine with the situation.

You sound very invested in making your marriage work. Why do you fear that your marriage is doomed?

And I don't know how to make yourself do things that repulse you. That course of action seems inadvisable. But once, in a threesome, my best friend told me that the secret to a blow job is to love it. I'm a concrete person who likes concrete instructions, but this advice is gold.

NotaNPC · 2018-12-29T03:19:40+00:00

Hey, first please be kind to yourself. Your marriage is not doomed, he would have left you already otherwise if he didn't want to work it out. I think it's important for you to initiate sex and have fun with it, make sure it's far from duty sex as a first step. Losing the weight and growing out your hair is good too but that's all cosmetics that will take some time, don't feel like he shouldn't touch you until then. Please read the Surrendered Wife book! It helps a lot.

teaandtalk · 2018-12-29T06:13:55+00:00

Lots of women who are obese have lots of sex. Make sure you're clean and smell good, then go for it. Dim the lights if you're feeling self conscious due to your weight.

Zegiknie · 2018-12-29T11:07:29+00:00

Panda's tend to be a bit asexual, but showing them pandaporn actually helps.

Have you tried porn? Or anything else that might stimulate you? Have you explored it? Perhaps you can create more pleasant associations with sex (massage first, nice music, candles)? Or see a sex therapist?

Relax a little. You want the man, and you have him. Now all that is left is to find ways to enjoy each other again. Maybe start with other things and gradually work your way up to improving your sex life. He didn't run when you went hardcore feminist. Likely he won't leave when you go back to normal! More like he'll be relieved.

dietcokehoe · 2018-12-29T17:42:06+00:00

First of all, WELCOME BACK SIS. So proud of you for somehow pulling yourself out of the neofeminist cesspool. Not many do, so you’re already a rockstar.

Second of all, your husband sounds like a rockstar as well. He sounds incredibly loving, patient and kind. You are so blessed!

So here is my advice- change your mindset. I’m not saying you’ll never be not asexual, but look at your husband. Think about why you married him, think about how he is your best friend no matter what you believe or what you look like (I’m sure you’re still incredibly beautiful, don’t let your current situation get to down because you WILL bounce back), think about his sexy smile, the way his arms feel wrapped around you, how protected and loved you are.

Now look at yourself- you’re a hot babe. So you have a few extra pounds and less hair than you’d like. Get some sexy lingerie that makes you feel good and one of those new wigs that literally can move anyway and still look natural! He will LOVE your inevitable self-esteem boost, the “new lady” in the bedroom, and you will feel like a true feminine powerhouse.

Of course this will lead to sex, but think about it less that way and more that you are your husband’s receptacle. I know that sounds terribly antiquated but hear me out. You take on his stress, anxiety, frustration and desire all in those few moments. You are his therapist, his cheerleader, his confidant, you are EVERYTHING to him, you make him feel like a man and when he comes out of it, he will feel better than ever and it’s all because of YOU and your amazing body! Sure it’s sex, but it’s so much more than that. It’s human connection, an expression of love and commitment, and a great way to have some fun and stay youthful (seriously, Miranda Kerr uses sex as an anti-aging tool)

So get excited!!! Maybe not for the sex, but for the results of sex and how that empowerment will make you feel. You are the one human being on this planet who can love that man in that way, it’s incredibly special!! ❤️

Gina_Maria_S · 2018-12-29T17:33:23+00:00

Well I think the first step is recognizing change needs to occur. Feminism has it place, but not to lose femininity. I am just being honest, women and men have a true nature about themselves, we are loving and emotional beings, where the man needs to feel like the security and protector. Imbalances happen in a relationship when we lose sight of how we play our role. I’d be happy to go further into this with you, just connect.

Gina_Maria_S · 2019-01-03T13:29:31+00:00

People like to label things to be pegged into a group. A fish is a fish, a man is a man, a woman is a woman. There is something beautiful about each one. We lose what we are when we try to trump the other. If you look at the world, everything that is unbalanced creates confusion or a power struggle. We fight what is all the time.

Title	Is my marriage to a point of no return?
Author	houseplantlover54
Upvotes	8
Comments	18
Date	December 29, 2018 3:08 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aahduu/is_my_marriage_to_a_point_of_no_return/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-my-marriage-to-a-point-of-no-return.68023 https://theredarchive.com/post/68023

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