Okay, so when my ex broke up with me, he told me I'm psycho and toxic bc of these situations:

  1. we both were in uni, and his day looked like it: getting up, going to lectures, coming back home and sleeping all afternoon, waking up in the evening (around 9pm), ordering food (it's when we could talk) and complaining that he didn't study even a tiny bit and is still very tired. I told/motivated him many times to start studying/start doing stuff and not going to sleep right after lectures so at the end of the day we could have some time for ourselves. When he broke up with me he said he "felt guilty" for wanting to sleep because I was getting mad at him for doing that and it's not healthy that I am getting salty when all he wanted to do is just sleep. And it's toxic of me to say that he can't sleep when he wants. Like wtf? I tried to help okay buddy???
  2. he was a pretty rich person, because of his father. He could easily visit me every weekend if he wanted (we were in LDR) but he never was motivated to save up money. He preferred going out with his friends to expensive restaurants and shit. And well, I was getting salty, because I was saying NO to all events I have to pay for, just so I could save up money for airplane tickets for him or holidays plans for us. At the end of relationship he told me he "felt bad for going out with friends bc I was always complaining" and "he couldn't spend money on what he wants". The truth is, I wouldn't mind him going out with friends to cheap restaurants so he would save money up a bit for us? Like I felt he thinks only of himself. And well, yes I minded what he spends money on but only because it seemed so unfair for me that I really put effort in saving, and he didn't seem to care at all.
  3. I was always being honest with him, so when he had extremely close relation with one of his sister, I told him it kind of bothered me. I wasn't jealous or anything, I just felt uncomfy when his 2 years younger sister was holding his hand while walking, or jumping on him and kissing all over when she saw him, or putting her head on his arm when we were in cinema in 3. And when he broke up with me he said "he doesn't want to feel guilty for spending time with his >lil sister<". I never ever told him to not spend time with her. I told him that her behaviour just bothers me because I always thought this kind of act is reserved for a gf and I just felt extremely weird next to them. I preffered to not spend time with her, but never ever told my ex to stop having contact with her or anything.
  4. my ex was bothered by my switches from "sweet to cold". And I really think I should work on it. But I can't control it when I see that he hurt me - I can't be sweet to him after it. I never screamed or anything, I was just getting cold. It didn't even have to be a big thing, e.g: when he promised me he will do smth and he didn't do it, when he made his sisters/parents buy a Christmas gift for me (bc he had no idea what to buy..), when he didn't give me attention when I wanted. I usually was a sweet person, but when things like it were happening - I was just switching to cold. It, unfortunately, was happening pretty often. And he told me he can't handle it anymore.

So yeah, my question is... Was I really toxic, unhealthy? I talked with my therapist about all of it, but I'm curious of your opinions. You have to know that I always treated him as HVM. But.. Was I HVW in all of this?