Why are good men so hard to find?

jalapenopancakes · 2020-02-08T15:03:12+00:00

It may take a village to raise a child. But it takes a village to raise a husband, too. And modern society has largely abdicated from the job. "Good husband material doesn't occur naturally, but is instead the product (in part) of socialization, development, and social control," Mr. Regnerus writes. "[I]n the domain of sex and relationships men will act as nobly as women collectively demand."

Keep on keeping on collectively demanding better, ladies.

RadarFemef · 2020-02-08T22:17:45+00:00

Lowering your standards doesn’t work anyway, because you’ll either pretend to be someone you’re not, or pretend you don’t care about things that you actually do care about, or be with someone who will by definition disappoint you. Just don’t even bother with that.

ceramicunicorn · 2020-02-08T16:32:12+00:00

I really struggle with our level of responsibility in this. I believe in one own’s freedom to conduct their personal life as they see fit. At the same time, I see pickme friends doing shit that makes me think, “The more women that are doing this, the worse they make it for me, in fact for the whole of us.” Because if enough people are collectively doing a thing, it makes a social impact...enough women are taking enough crap to where it’s fucking with the rest of us. But you have to be super careful with your words, or you’re accused of slut shaming, you’re not being supportive of other women, you’re stamping on their freedom of choice, etc. And that’s just your own friends. Forget about total strangers that are doing this pick-meeee shit that I see on social media several times a day.

It’s like you have to just keep watching it happen until a trusted friend who’s been burned comes to you and maybe you can slowly, carefully direct that person to FDS or something adjacent. I don’t want to dictate to women what they should do, and anyway I think people need to come to conclusions on their own for them to really stick. But I find holding my tongue- especially when women put no value on their sexuality and emotional labor and then complain about how much work it all is- really hard. I want to scream “There is a better way!” I have to remind myself that I used to be like them, and had to figure this out for myself.

Lakersrock111 · 2020-02-08T18:04:15+00:00

I won’t lower my standards for a fella. I will just be single until a HVM can prove himself to me.

Title	Why are good men so hard to find?
Author	jalapenopancakes
Upvotes	47
Comments	14
Date	February 8, 2020 3:03 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f0soju/why_are_good_men_so_hard_to_find/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-are-good-men-so-hard-to-find.683079 https://theredarchive.com/post/683079

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