Is having a three strike rule too pickmeisha?

thewetdog_ · 2020-01-15T03:21:11+00:00

It’s not about a numerical amount of strikes.

It’s about you building the (1) self esteem and the (2) discernment to know when to negotiate and when enough is enough and walk away.

Discernment, to know that adjustments and negotiations are required in every relationship, and will be ongoing. And to know what is negotiable to you and what it isn’t, and how far you’re willing to negotiate. Nobody is perfect, we all come with baggage or simply differences. But you need to be able to think critically about your own and other’s role and actions.

Discernment to also know when your good faith and ability/willingness to negotiate is being taken advantage of.

Self esteem, to know exactly where your boundaries lay and what you deserve.

At the most elemental level, to never forget what you deserve as a basic human being: respect and decency.

Self esteem, to not let someone talk you out of your discernment. To be able to stand your ground: this is okay and this not okay.

To be able to trust your own judgment. Your judgement on when to have a confrontation, when to give an ultimatum, when a last chance is a last chance, and when to walk away trusting (even if your heart is doubting) that you will be okay if you do.

Even if you feel like just you just threw away the only man you could get - and trust that this feeling is not reality. Or trust that if it is, then you are better off alone.

Self esteem to remember that you are what matters most, and that you are not only your own best advocate, but your only true advocate on this planet.

An unshakable self esteem is the one thing that will allow you to trust yourself above trusting others that may not have your best interests at heart.

Your self esteem is your sword, armor and shield in this world. Do maintenance on it daily and never, ever leave your house without it.

Work on developing these skills and you will be able to make decisions and accurately judge if a guy is worth it, based on several qualitative elements, not just a number of strikes. Which isn’t gonna protect you much either.

ManchurianCantaloupe · 2020-01-15T02:29:59+00:00

What was the fuck up?

jewdy09 · 2020-01-15T02:38:33+00:00

Tell him how you feel about the offensive behavior and see how he responds. If he gets all butt hurt, dump him. If he is responds well but does it again, dump him.

No one is perfect and sometimes we need to work things out.

MuffinSongs · 2020-01-15T02:55:42+00:00

In my case, strike one I didn’t say anything. It was kind of minor and I didn’t mind. Strike two I mentioned it and he apologized and promised to make it up to me. I didn’t ask for an apology, but he did.

(For reference, most guys I have entertained didn’t apologize ever, for anything, but instead justified their actions. That’s an immediate nope.)

Strike 3, well, I guess if it comes to that he’s got to go. Hopefully there is no strike 3 because I like him a lot. But I ain’t no doormat and I ain’t no pick-meisha. There are other boys in the sea. Lots of them. I have time.

Title	Is having a three strike rule too pickmeisha?
Author	brbulk
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	January 15, 2020 2:22 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eovucq/is_having_a_three_strike_rule_too_pickmeisha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-having-a-three-strike-rule-too-pickmeisha.684812 https://theredarchive.com/post/684812

Comments