LVM disguised as HVM

9penguin · 2020-01-05T21:00:29+00:00

He lovebombed you. If a man says, "Yes, I want to get married one day," he doesn't mean he wants to get married TO YOU. It means he wants to get married but that someone is probably not you. Ask him, "Do you want to get married TO ME?" His reaction afterwards tells everything. A year later he said all those things to you because only now the meaning of 'marriage' to him changed from "marriage between him and a woman of his dreams" to "marriage between him and his current girlfriend." That's why he doesn't want marriage anymore because now it means a marriage between you and him and he doesn't want it because he doesn't love you enough to marry you. He'll never marry you, dump him. I'm sorry but to him you were just a placeholder.

Whateverrr_345 · 2020-01-05T21:05:54+00:00

One of the threads I made was based on this.

You have to look at him objectively, as a person. Does he have his shit together? Does he have ambition? Is he independent? Does he take responsibility? They are all hallmarks of an adult. He will have graduated or have skills in something. He will have a decent job (not some shitty temp job), he will prove his stability by maintaining and holding down anything adult in his life, Inc relationships and his job. Basically, he's mentally healthy. He's not scared of it because he KNOWS the decisions he makes are and will be worthwhile.

Childish or LVM men are focused on narcissistic pursuits and leeching off of others, or they pull the "I'm not ready for commitment, don't want a relationship" type of thing. It's like a parasite. They fail to take accountability, their life WILL reflect that. They might not have a car, license, their own place, they live with their family still, they're into video games and childish things (look up Peter Pan Syndrome) Often these guys are either codependent, narcissistic or just straight up lazy with no purpose but to leech and destroy. They are constantly unsure of anything. They have no planned future. They lack structure and are uncertain about most things.

(We NEVER bob the build these guys up either, they are eternally children. And they will monkey branch AKA hypergamy their way into the hands of another woman if they try to bob the build or be a pickmeisha for them)

Lvm can pretend to be HVM, but WILL fail. You can't expect them to maintain or be ready for something as deep as a serious relationship of the other aspects of his life arent in order. People are also the company they keep, so if they hang around a bunch of shitty dudes that have similar lifestyles as him, he's useless. It's done. Birds of a feather flock together. If he's constantly drinking, getting high, fucking everything in sight, has a baby momma, mommy does everything for her baby (kept him dependent/emotional incest)

They pretend to be hvm because they like you or they're trying to benefit off of you in some way, shape or form.

You can go through my post history, as I bring this up a lot for discussion. This barely scratches the surface. There are literally a million ways to try to detect it

TabascoSpicySauce · 2020-01-05T19:42:06+00:00

You can use political topics: You can ask him his views on the hook up culture or metoo. If he is defensive about sleeping around or says that women play the victim too much, then is a LVM. That works with any topic about the sexual objectification of women: many men will say that they are mariage material, but if they defend fuckboys, then you know that he is one too. Or else he wouldn't defend them. Sexual objectification is a very pratical topic to see who is LVM or not, when someone objectifies someone else or think that it is OK, it means that they are entitled and see no issue with getting what they want without performing any type of emotionl labour. This also goes for men who follow objectified women on social media: they feel entitled over women's bodies and think it exists for entertainment. That alone is a huge red flag and shows emotional immaturity.

That or you can ask him straight what he wants, if he says "let's just see what happens" or "IDK let's just focus on the moment" or acts confused or whatever, then it means he has no serious plans for you, but want to you use your emotional labour because he is bored or didn't find someone else who will. LVM again.

My point in both cases, is that men talk a lot, act open minded and all that, but you can see their real colors if you focus on their core beliefs (views on objectification, porn, etc) , their actions (did he became distant/unsure after months of promises? Or is he fickle? Does he ask you what you want and need or does he only talk about himself and acts like the whole relationship is delimited by his desires? ) and maturity (does he respect the time you give or does he take it for granted? ).

ny-lady · 2020-01-05T21:12:25+00:00

He was probably Avoidant Attached. Communication and committing are a thing with them.

They will be the greatest guy and when all is well its does a 360.

Avoidants can be HV in many areas of their life and good people but they are not good for relationships unless they are aware/therapy/understand their avoidance/triggers.

TabascoSpicySauce · 2020-01-05T19:31:57+00:00

[deleted]

popfriday · 2020-01-05T21:09:01+00:00

Men can be high value and not be the right person for you. Just like a good woman can fall in and out of love with a good man.

You don’t mention him being manipulative or an out right liar. It sucks and it’s terrifying but people can fall out of love, or not feel motivated to try after the honeymoon phase is over. It SUCKS but unless you missed glaring red flags, there isn’t much you can do about this. Breaking up will always be a risk, no matter how into each other a couple is at first.

All you can do is make sure you are being treated like a queen everyday. Whatever happens happens after that point. But if you start to put up with bullshit behavior, it’s time to go.

sparkles_goldentail · 2020-01-06T10:11:53+00:00

Pls can someone tell me what lvm and hvm mean

Title	LVM disguised as HVM
Author	TabascoSpicySauce
Upvotes	62
Comments	29
Date	January 5, 2020 7:24 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ekhnib/lvm_disguised_as_hvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lvm-disguised-as-hvm.685517 https://theredarchive.com/post/685517

Comments