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[–]even_thrillerFDS Apprentice110 points111 points112 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
One of the best things I learned from He’s Just Not That Into You.
[–]tiltmaxxFDS Apprentice44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That book was one of the best things to happen to my young adult self.
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple139 points140 points141 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly, men don't play hard to get. If he wanted you he would be at your door, not the other way around. Stop fooling yourself, upgrade to a better man.
[+][deleted] 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]pinkpeony620 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And if they are too shy or playing hard to get, that’s not the kind of guy you want anyways. I recently dated a guy who always made me make the first move because he was so nervous to annoy me or that I wouldn’t be into him. He was nice but so riddled with insecurity that it just didn’t work out.
[–]amiranda00FDS Newbie[🍰] 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Needed this! Every single time I need a slap of truth, FDS comes through!
[–]ThraoaweiFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Be careful tho, if he makes himself too readily available there's usually a reason and it's usually a staggering flaw.
[–][deleted] 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
See: love bombing. It’s a narcissistic behavior, that I learned, the hard way, from a diagnosed narcissist I dated right after ending long term relationship.
Long story short: if they are giving you 24/7 attention, it might be to see what happens when they take it away.
Yikes!
[–]turquoisebluesFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, that hurts.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, but, better to know than not. And,..this isn’t always the case. I prefer to stay positive!
[–]ny-ladyFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Anxious Preoccupied or even avoidants, both can have love bombing/needy behavior!
[–]NitenitedragoniteFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What flaws would you say are most common for this behavior? I can only think of like a narcissistic personality disorder or maybe a felon? But if I know someone like this towards me and they are neither of those two... could it just be genuine? Or are there any other examples I am missing and could be badly mistaken?
[–]ThraoaweiFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Covert narcissism is what you're looking for. They are just as ego driven but it doesn't present like the classic narcissist trope. Quite the exact opposite really, but after the same results as typical. It's the type that manages to be there at every turn. They seem so thoughtful, and so nice etc etc. It's all weird facade constructed for their own ends.
They may not even realize it beyond knowing they're a shitty person at the end of the day and can never fulfill the potential they present. It's the guy who you date for a few weeks that's amazing. You wake up to good morning texts and when your head hits the pillow, almost on cue, you get a good night text.
They make you feel awesome and it seems like you're always on their mind. Your first few dates are AWESOMEEEEE and you're swooning. Then they stop responding seemingly out of nowhere or walk it back and their patterns of contact change logistics or tone within a few days despite like three solid weeks of perfection.
It's tough to spot because the first bit of time they act like we really want our men who love us to act. And men should act like that tbh. The problem is that they do all the good stuff way too quickly, long before you've earned it.
You want a guy who's going to invest in you like that because he's determined you're worth the investment after an appropriate amount of interaction and a period of observation. Guys who throw everything in the table from jump do it because thats literally all they've got. Nothing in reserves at all. Things should ramp up, not start at a pinnacle and then free fall.
[–]RinneeFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In my experience the ones who are looking for a mothering type or are quick to be co-dependent send A LOT of texts. Like a few everyday about random nonsense because the conversations never stick and they’re trying really hard. It could be genuine, and I am 100% biased but that’s how I interpret love bombing.
[–]ThraoaweiFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well yea there's the clueless types who can't figure it out and rely on love bombing. But then there are the guys who do it with precision because they know they are very appealing but have way too many short comings. Like really attractive drunks, or men who are cheating. Cheaters are the worst really. They love bomb for pussy and bounce so it's more sinister than the socially pathetic love bomber.
[–]TheWarmestHugzFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, just left a friend for 3 days to see if he’d message me first. He hasn’t so he can hop right off. Don’t need toxic people in my life in 2020!
[–]buffysummerrsFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men don’t play hard to get. Women do. End of story. If he’s not calling, it’s because he doesn’t like you. Move on and let go. I’m in my 20’s but I wish someone told me this when I was in my teens.. instead of obsessing over why my crush didn’t like me back lol.
[–]throwaway64857FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is something women need to repeat to themselves all the time, especially young women
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes yes and YES narcissists ughhh
[–]andrewbc931 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes
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[–]even_thrillerFDS Apprentice110 points111 points112 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]tiltmaxxFDS Apprentice44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple139 points140 points141 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]pinkpeony620 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]amiranda00FDS Newbie[🍰] 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThraoaweiFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 38 points39 points40 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]turquoisebluesFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ny-ladyFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NitenitedragoniteFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThraoaweiFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RinneeFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ThraoaweiFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheWarmestHugzFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]buffysummerrsFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway64857FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]andrewbc931 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link