Patterns I'm noticing with the guy I've been sleeping with

Winter_Inevitable · 2019-12-20T17:21:44+00:00

He wants you to be exclusive to HIM but not the other way around. Don't do it. This is becoming what they call a situationship.

Scotsburd · 2019-12-20T17:54:04+00:00

You are his fall back shag. He probably has no idea you are an actual person, with feelings and hopes. And if he does, he doesn't care. Ditch and go have fun with the better contenders. Throw this one back to his bros.

juliannawackenhat · 2019-12-20T21:53:07+00:00

It seems like you kind of talked yourself through it. Ditch #1. He sucks. Focus on better habits with #2.

Milobear27 · 2019-12-20T23:18:37+00:00

You do not need to have a conversation with him. If he wanted something more serious, you wouldn’t be asking these questions, he would be doing everything possible to lock you down. You are turning it in to a negotiation and you already know he cannot or will not give you what you need/want. Block, if you feel inclined maybe a sentence or two to explain your feelings but definitely block!
Thank u, next.

GoodToBeGmoney · 2019-12-20T23:28:53+00:00

[deleted]

HeroForHire369 · 2019-12-21T00:36:38+00:00

and the next day I was joking about "locking down my pussy for him"

Please never say that to a man again, for your sake. I don't think he ever really respected you to begin with, after reading your post in its entirety, but I wouldn't be surprised if it nosedived after that.

You're reducing yourself to your genitals. I get that the intent was probably to keep it lighthearted to get a feel of where he stood as far as exclusivity goes so you didn't come across as trying to define the relationship or being desperate, but... I don't know. It's bad enough when men do it, but I think it's worse when a woman does it to herself, because it sets a certain tone for the relationship and how she views herself, whether you were joking or not.

Maybe other people may disagree with me, but it left a bad taste in my mouth, and really stood out to me.

As far as the guy in general, I'd just throw the whole thing away. You didn't type a whole lot about your second guy, but reading about the first guy is giving me the onset of a migraine.

"well, I'm grown and this is exclusive as far as I'm concerned..."

And they always play the "I'm grown" card and display literally everything but. I'd peace.

realityhofosho · 2019-12-20T19:50:07+00:00

(I’m 47 year old me yelling at 34 year old me) Run. Run! RUN! Do not walk- away from this relationshit! (Just made that up right now, in the bathtub, swear!) Anyhoo, strike while the iron is hot, with your two other prospects, and don’t do to them what this BOY is doing to you! Trust me, I’m old!

And let me tell you something... when I was 34, I looked GREAT. And at no point did I ever feel that I had any other prospects, let alone TWO! Go with it, girl! And I’m so sorry to have wasted an ounce of my greatness on fucktards.

If only this sub existed then. Sigh.

aclumsygirl · 2019-12-20T22:28:08+00:00

He hasn't really lied to you about anything. But it's not what you want and it doesn't feel good. So tell him you're looking for more of a relationship, and you're going to start seeing other people. Don't ask him what he wants to do, whether he wants to be your bf, blah blah. Just TELL him what you are going to do. He'll either step up (I wouldn't hold your breath though) or he gets pushed out.

GoodToBeGmoney · 2019-12-21T01:15:56+00:00

You’re a relationship addict. Figure out why you’re a codependent. Figure out who you are, figure out what messed you up in your childhood. Get your identity, place firm boundaries and will you find your men become people of value.

You are the problem and you’re using people to further your problem. Good luck. I usually see your stuff at early 20s and late teens.

Heck, some problems just linger till someone says your an addict. Why I say that because this post is you telling everyone you have no idea who you are and are willing to sell yourself for nothing to validate your lack of identity. Who are you? Right, no one but a lady desperate for affection from some broken man.

The fact you already demanded him to be good and you’re making up this fairytale, you barely know this guy. Takes years to know a person. Your situation is classic case stranger to danger and you’re the danger.

I lol at fall in love. Fall in love in love with What? Going in too fast, having no idea who you are and the results are- you accepted a broken man and he discards you? I don’t know how anyone could fall I. Love with that?

Please know, I believe you’re an awesome person, you’re not stupid, you’re not dumb, you’re functional. But study up on love addiction/relationship addiction and codependent. You are the textbook codependent.

Itchy-Transportation · 2019-12-21T05:04:34+00:00

Okay i can't lie I only made it through like the first quarter of that. Yes he's a fuckboy. Do you see how emotionally pretzeled over this dude you are? That is the indicator of a fuckboy right there. Writing out something this long and detailed to over analyze all of the weird shit he's pulling on you.. his games have drawn you in. Get out, you are worth more than this, your limited time on this earth is not to be spent twisted up about some loser. Focus your energy and attention inward💜

streetveep · 2019-12-23T06:22:24+00:00

No sex before monogamy!!!!!!!!

Title	Patterns I'm noticing with the guy I've been sleeping with
Author	freshstartdmv
Upvotes	41
Comments	17
Date	December 20, 2019 3:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/edbwei/patterns_im_noticing_with_the_guy_ive_been/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/patterns-im-noticing-with-the-guy-ive-been.686544 https://theredarchive.com/post/686544

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