Asking for what you want is not nagging. Asking for what you want at reasonable intervals is not nagging. Expecting that your man will do the things he’s supposed to do in a timely manner, isn’t nagging. In fact, expecting that he would do it in a way that you prefer to have it done, is not nagging either.

Nagging has become an easy word for men to use to shame women when they don’t want to do what is being asked of them. Its an attempt at gaslighting you. It’s very easy for him to brush you off as a nag than to draw himself away from that football game or video game or just general laziness, and do what is expected of him as a committed partner.

You must not let this bother you. He’s free to call you a nag all he wants, as long as he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing. Children will scream, “I hate you” until they’re blue in the face, whenever they want to throw tantrums and try to get away from doing what they should be doing. The adult way to respond is to not acknowledge their antics and remain firm in your request or decisions. You should approach this situation the same way. In fact, go as far as agreeing with him and saying for example, “yes, I’m a nag. Thanks. Now take out the trash like I asked you to do since yesterday. Feel free to continue to call me a nag on your way to the garbage disposal!” Basically, Agree and Brush off.

Apply this to other aspects of your relationship, including listening to your concerns, re-assurance, spending time with you, moving the relationship forward, time spent on giving you sexual pleasure, and any other common relationship conflict.

When you’re able to show that you’re unaffected by his weak attempts to shirk his responsibilities/what is expected of him as a committed partner, not only will he respect you more, but the word itself will lose its effect, and you’ll get more of what you want done from him.