A personal favorite:

“I’m looking for someone spontaneous!”

Translation(s):

“I’m looking for someone waiting around for me to decide I feel like seeing her.”

“I want a girl who will just drop all her plans when I randomly contact her.”

“I’m incapable of making plans more than a day or two in advance, and I demand immediate gratification.”

“I don’t value your time or even consider the fact that you may be busy. My schedule is the only one that matters!”