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Halofriend101
[+][deleted] 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]chokeychokeyFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s so sad how I can hardly recall asking myself those questions when I was “involved” with someone. And when I did, I still prioritized their perception of myself over my own. I’m going to keep this in mind now that I’m working on maintaining my self-respect and self-image. Thanks.
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good for you!
[–]ChristieFoxFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think those are the first things you have to ask. But as we are talking often about low value men and how they establish things you "have to do" to "earn their attention / affection", giving yourself the reality check and asking yourself if he lets you do things so he stays or whatever is fair enough.
[–]Caimthehero-1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In my opinion it's more of high value men or at least that regard themselves as high value that will ask much more of you. Low value men are seriously just happy for someone to talk to most of the time. High value guys I would say if you dont have the same level of commitment because of a difference in personality it's a wash and just consider it not right for each other and let the good guy get away. There's nothing wrong with letting a good guy or girl get away if they're not right for you. Low quality guys masquerading as high quality is where you can seriously get hurt or in trouble.
I've been on both ends of the spectrum now and took a lot of self improvement to get to where I'm at today
[–]missmatchedsocks8818 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. I held onto my most recent relationship longer than I should have because I didn’t want to be alone. So glad I snapped out of it!
[–]patchw0rked10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This is hitting home now. My boyfriend didn’t reply to a heavy message (about why I was upset about something he did) I sent via a messaging app, and replied via text literally 48h later (with no contact between) with a totally unrelated light message and a note that he hasn’t read my other message because it “seemed really intense”.
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wow. Girl. Something my therapist told me, if they can’t show up for you in the little things (like a text), how will they show up for the big things!
[–]patchw0rked5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I needed that. Thank you. I got really angry and basically wanted to leave him because of it, but obviously the doubts start creeping in and now I’m the sad one when I feel like he doesn’t really care about it. Considering looking for a therapist myself!
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t think you’re wrong in wanting to leave him.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I’ve turned the page and now instead of blaming myself when things go wrong, as women do because men are NEVER wrong (unless it’s something extremely blatant that can’t deny and even then...), I now ask, do I even want to deal with another guy like this? Been there, done that. Since the vast majority are all cut from the same cloth, I have not had the good fortune to find the rare good man who would help me become a better person instead of finding reasons why I’m not good enough.
The saddest thing is, I have been questioning lately if there are ANY men out there worth my energy and time. I’m not willing to go 20 years older and be a sugar baby. But guys my age are still mostly completely un-self-aware and would rather commit suicide than do some introspection and get right with themselves. Women are SO much stronger than men.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
damn this hit home . my bf didn’t answer for 10 hours and my mind automatically goes to “he’s cheating “ bc of my past and i had already started to make peace with it in my head lmao and mentally prepare to dump him and live my best life . probably not the healthiest thing either to asume that much its better than my past self tjat would’ve found ways to make him stay .
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
You can do better than someone who takes ten hours to respond if he does this regularly.
[–]themomerath9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My boyfriend routinely takes 2-3 hours to answer texts, but dude isn’t attached to his phone much and can’t really pick up in the middle of teaching a class. At ten hours, though, I’d be exceptionally pissed off.
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s totally different. Everyone checks their phone within ten hours.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
yeah lmao i was ready to lose it and it seemed uncharacteristic so my mind started to go to dark places. i hate that i always assume the worst .
[–]themomerath1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to be a lot worse with that, tbh. Now I know it’s not just me, he’s just a really shitty texter.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
defs!! but it hasn’t happened before r . he passed out bc he’s been working 7 days a week so that he can have enough money to see me when i go abroad. He’s been nothing but wonderful to me but before him i was with a guy who lied and cheated with such ease it just left me traumatized.
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh yeah lol. Well at least you’re able to differentiate what’s a trigger from what’s real!
[–]listen10FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes I need to be reminded of this on a daily basis until it's a natural way of being for myself.
[–]cerebralbbygrl0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WOWOWOW this is such an amazing way of looking at things
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[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]chokeychokeyFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChristieFoxFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Caimthehero-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]missmatchedsocks8818 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]patchw0rked10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]patchw0rked5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]themomerath9 points10 points11 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]themomerath1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Halofriend101FDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]listen10FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cerebralbbygrl0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link