TL;DR: My current GF has a great head on her shoulders and the one whom I've chosen to be with long term but i'm considering breaking up with her because of how dysfunctional we are when it comes to issues. I don't feel enough proactive change is in place and want to leave because I'm growing unhappy and bitter. For anyone that's felt in a similar scenario where they felt they were with the right one - have you broken up and been happy /regretted your decision or have you forced yourself to adapt continue on?

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I've spun plates before but LTR life is more for me. I've been dating my GF for 4 years now. We're both in our mid-20's. I feel lucky to have her. We're serious and committed to each other. She's wonderful in a lot of regards and overall a good human being. Healthy family life, stays home, doesn't party or like to stay out late. We also have great chemistry, we get along, and can overcome issues that we face with our communication (in person). She just graduated from university and already has an amazing job right out of the gate so we're excited to move forward with our lives now.

My issue arises from a multitude of areas. As mentioned when we are with each other, things are great. But when problems arise and we're not with each other, i find that she's someone else entirely. She turns into a very nasty. petty, child-like person who doesn't understand how to do the simplest conflict resolution. She makes herself out to be the victim in any given situation even when it's completely her fault. I find that I have to expend twice as much of my patience and understanding in order for us to get the relationship back on track again while she is metaphorically blocking the road.

I've gone through with her a countless amount of times within our 4 years how to properly and effectively communicate not just for me, but for both of us. She continuously agrees that the way she handles things are bad and somewhat selfish in nature and see's that not just "MY" way but a better more preferred way to handle things is always available.

If you isolate an incidence then it doesn't truly bother me too much but it's the constant amalgamation of all these incidences and more especially the lack of change and exact same scenario occurring time and time and time and time again; yet she believes there all different situations. After 4 years, it's gradually made me more bitter and unhappy seeing how patternized this has all become. And it's only after an issue arises that I realize how unhappy i become when she repeatedly handles herself in such manner. But then I communicate again where it went to shit, how she can improve, she agrees and everything goes back to normal and we carry on happily.

We currently got into a small issue 3 weeks ago which stemmed from her ignoring and cancelling our plans for no reason. I told her exactly what the issue was and left it at that. Because I haven't done any effective conflict resolution this time, we haven't spoken properly and/or seen each other for 3 weeks now. I know she feels like this is my fault and she's actively victimizing herself even more. She's sent me paragraph after paragraph exclaiming how I've abandoned and broke her heart. But again, this is all on the catalyst off the one event she started.

Problem is with me, is that I don't see myself interested in dating anyone else. I don't see myself chasing girls with my boys anymore. It's not a lack of abundance mentality it's the opposite. I'm around a lot of girls in my friend group and know that they're not like my current GF.

Towards the question at hand. Has anyone felt this way in a similar situation? How did you handle it and why?