Couch sessions

RedzerBoop · 2020-07-11T19:55:33+00:00

Therapy. Same problem here. My narcissistic mother ruined my fucking life. All I attract now is narcissists because I learned that'd what love is.

youcantucan · 2020-07-11T19:52:00+00:00

[deleted]

cutsforluck · 2020-07-11T20:03:59+00:00

Ok, first off, head over to r/NarcissisticAbuse

Narcissists are skilled at gaslighting. So if you've been gaslit over a long period of time, of course you don't trust your own judgement. That's a perfectly normal reaction to having been gaslit.

Second, look up 'trauma bond.' This is likely what you have formed with the narc, as a result of the toxic relationship. Especially if you've grown up in a family with those tendencies, it feels almost normal/comfortable to be in a toxic relationship. I've been there. I'm trying to undo the damage now, too.

'No Contact' is the only way to go. You need to get away from the chaotic, toxic individual, in order for the dust to settle, and for you to start seeing clearly and healing.

MuffinSongs · 2020-07-11T20:54:06+00:00

My ex is a narcissist. I don’t think he knows it, but many of them don’t. When it’s good, it’s damn good. When it’s bad, it’s hell.

Love, you need therapy to glow up. It’s so annoying because it costs time and money. But, it’s amazing for breaking free. Block him. Keep him blocked. His kind of “love” is bullshit and unnatural. Love yourself and get well.

I’m a former service member myself. Don’t let him call you crazy because of it. If you have residual trauma, you need to work on it. Not as an individual. People can help.

valsavana · 2020-07-11T20:24:45+00:00

I want to start a new life but feel I don’t have the resources and clearly continue to choose partners who have no good intentions for me

Then you're clearly not ready to date. You need to work on yourself, preferably in therapy.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-11T20:39:12+00:00

I have basically only dated narcissists except for my ex husband, so believe me when I tell you that once you cut off communication, the fog will lift. I know you feel crazy right now. That’s the fog. Fear, obligation, guilt.

Natasha Adamo writes excellent articles on these types. PostMaleSyndrome is her blog.

Dating a narcissist is like ingesting poison every day. You cannot get better if they are still in communication with you. Cut him out and find your strength here with us. Stay single for at least six months. Clear your head out.

sparklyboots · 2020-07-11T21:14:48+00:00

Girl, I know that thrill that you get when things are running hot with someone like that! It is 100% the result of your dysfunctional family. You friends may also be toxic since you don't know what a healthy relationship should feel like.

Block him now and focus your energy on building an appropriate emotional support for yourself. Start with finding that one therapist who will really listen to you!

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-11T21:36:53+00:00

That's really sad. You need therapy to find the inner strength to leave and also not get yourself into another situation like this. Reddit has some good subs for helping people see the light. I know bpdlovedones was fantastic. Lots of people in different stages of wanting to leave and having left. Narcissistic abuse is also probably really good.

Best of luck. You are supposed to be living your life to the fullest. Not settling for love crumbs and abuse. It's 100% better to be alone than to put up with what you're dealing with. No one else but you has the control. Find it.

Title	Couch sessions
Author	youcantucan
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	July 11, 2020 5:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hpdhnh/couch_sessions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/couch-sessions.704267 https://theredarchive.com/post/704267

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