What does love feel like?

vandaalen · 2018-12-27T01:12:54+00:00

Now for me I can either experience oneitis or no love at all.

ainihon · 2018-12-27T03:26:32+00:00

That’s a very tough question OP.

One can love unconditionally. But the moment you insert “need” into the picture like how they do in the movies. You’re ruined.

Love, but be outcome independent. Love, but never show you need. Think like Rick in “Rick and morty. Don’t need anyone, or anything.

MrFiles · 2018-12-27T04:47:50+00:00

Love is when you're in complete trust and relaxed in your own skin and proud of what you bring to the world. Love isn't something you get love is something you do

SKRedPill · 2018-12-27T03:55:33+00:00

First of all you need to stop fearing the possibility of getting hurt. Just accept this that everything you think you can rely on will only come and go and nothing and nobody is around forever - it's only a question of when and how. Don't try to guarantee an end result. The end result isn't a life worth living for, you will become very unhappy and confused if you pin your hopes on an outcome that is never really in your hands. You can guarantee what you can to meet a goal, but the outcome depends on stuff bigger than yourself. You have to accept that.

First accept why you feel insecure - you don't want to get hurt or abandoned, and your guts are telling you to beware of women's pasts because the past baggage of an intimate sexual relationship (especially if it was with her "idealized alpha") imprints itself too strongly on them to allow them to properly bond with you the same way. Third, you need some freedom. Your mind closing off is an attempt to try and secure your freedom. Fourth, your body is particular about it's genes passing on vs others' and to ensure that your children are really your own. Society might have changed, but the body hasn't changed a cell since the stone age.

Instead of doing passive aggressive stuff to meet these needs, just meet them directly - especially your need for freedom or facing your fear of pain.

Your body hormones are primed for doing what they're doing right now, but those same hormones will later dwindle after the honeymoon and things will come back to reality again. You will get attached no matter what in a relationship and if that attachment breaks for any reason, it will hurt. If you recognize this, you can face it consciously. Running away from it only makes this a big issue in your life. You're like a child not wanting the painful injection, when you're grown up you feel "Hey, this ain't nearly as bad as I thought". That's how it is.

Remember, at some level, you're still hanging on to your parents and feeling incomplete. Fill yourself up with abundance and a real life first. Believe what you really wrote up there, it will take time for a new belief system to reprogram your mind.

There is no real thing called love as you think you can define it (you have a problem with this word) - all love is either need or abundance. Love just sweetens the cake so that you will feel like eating it. You want to know what red pilled love is - start by becoming a father to yourself. Love yourself first and accept all aspects of your masculinity and put them all in their proper places.

el_Technico · 2018-12-27T03:24:19+00:00

https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I

Sorry, couldn't help it guys.

It's just a chemical response that makes you feel happy generally.

jacques_cousteau007 · 2018-12-27T01:47:03+00:00

Oh you mean love?

alleyteris · 2018-12-27T07:02:52+00:00

You are allowed to love but also must be outcome independed,BUT you are obliged to love yourself first and foremost

jenovajunkie · 2018-12-27T03:27:02+00:00

Love is when TRP v. TBP doesn't really matter anymore.

People's opinion won't matter to what you want anymore.

htowntrav · 2018-12-27T05:03:21+00:00

“I need to reed the side bar.” You can love your kids, job, house, football team, car, guns, video games, money, school. Whatever the hell you please. But once you put a woman on a pedal will your blue pill ideologies. It’s no longer love.

adam-l · 2018-12-27T08:19:43+00:00

I feel your agony, man. It's a phase we all go through, in our young years. "Am I being true to my significant other, and to myself? How am I supposed to love correctly? How do I make it work, so that I feel happy?"

These questions have been the bases of whole philosophies, so there is no quick answer. They do serve as a good basis for your trip to full manhood, though. Here are some starters:

1) There are three kinds of love:

a. Lust ("I wanna fuck her"),

b. "Eros", the idealized "romantic love", being "in love".

c. Attachment, what some call "true love", that warm feeling of connectedness.

2) Women can have only the two first: lust and "in love". They can have the third one, attachment, connectedness, but only if they also have b., "in love" concurrently. Once b. stops - and it does after a couple of years, "real love" starts deteriorating rapidly. For practical application, just consider women incapable of feeling "true love".

3) Early human societies didn't have marriage, neither did they identify paternity. Men didn't know who their children were, and the burden of raising children fell mainly on women. (On the tribe, as well, but this is another, big, issue). A couple of years after a woman got impregnated, there was a high chance the man would leave. So women evolved to use "love" to extract resources from men, in order to support themselves and raise their offspring. Many implications here, but what you need to keep is this: The moment it is made clear that you depend on her, she gets burdened with an unbearable feeling that she has to "carry" you. We, men, even derive pleasure from this feeling, it largely sums up the feeling of "love" for us. It is exactly the other way around for women. Men are love-givers, women are love-takers.

What you need to do, then, is protect your capacity to give love. This often means that you need to withhold your love - let her squirm about it, if need be, because if you give in, she will stop "feeling love" for you.

"But I need her to love me, take care of me. How do I do that?"

Yeah, how do you cover your love needs?

Friends, body. Excluding our sexual needs, we men can only get cared for by, and depend on, our male friends. Just as Ulysses got to enjoy the siren's song, but only after being tightly tied to the mast by his comrades, you can enjoy "love" with women, but only if you have a strong foundation, that includes support by your male friends.

Having written this, and as I re-read it, I think: "Bullshit. How is he going to know what this is all about? From words read on the internet? There is no replacement for experience (for most people, at least)."

So, here's another idea:

Have one off.

Have deep conversations with your GF. Let her tell you what it is that she really wants. Tell her all your secret thoughts, all your needs, make her know, give her the chance to get to know your deepest worries and insecurities. Ask her to support you, every single time you feel down. Trust her completely. Let go, let your guard down and lose yourself in your love with her.

See where that leaves you.

Better do it now, than when you have a couple of kids, later on in life, and they have to face the consequences.

Here's if you want to learn more about it all.

[deleted] · 2018-12-27T08:24:55+00:00

Weakness

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-12-27T14:46:48+00:00

First, it feels like this, then it feels like this, but once you master TRP, it feels like this.

ActiveAir · 2018-12-27T02:42:05+00:00

Just out of curiosity, have you proposed the "idea" of an LTR to your GF? What was her reaction to it?

I lost my LTR by being beta and too clingy. I was too open with my LTR about my life, the "charm" she thought of me went away. I can't offer any advice, but please proceed with caution

needoptionsnow · 2018-12-27T04:28:50+00:00

Oneitis

ricardomhv · 2018-12-27T10:03:20+00:00

Love it's trusting that person and been able to communicate with them, to talk to them, it's being able to present yourself in a vulnerable way in a certain situation, love is commitment and love is sacrifice.

Venenarium · 2018-12-27T16:26:13+00:00

Imagine that instead of LTR, you're in an open relationship with this girl. At any moment, on a whim, she can decide to dissappear forever.

Any time that you spend together is because both of you want to spend time together, not because of any obligations or rules you have to each other. You can not manipulate nor force her to be with you and she can spend the time she's not with you however she wants and with whoever she wants.

How does this make you feel? Given the conditions, could you imagine yourself being in love with the girl?

Title	What does love feel like?
Author	2fassy
Upvotes	60
Comments	46
Date	December 27, 2018 12:15 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a9ty2f/what_does_love_feel_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-does-love-feel-like.71650 https://theredarchive.com/post/71650

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