The jig is up

Flufferly · 2020-07-29T06:21:17+00:00

Depends how they ask. If I meet a guy on OLD on monday and he asks me wednesday for a (nice) date on saturday, I'm all for it. If a guy wants me to "hang out and play video games", I don't care how long he takes. Blockachu, I choose you!

Ick.

muricaxoxo · 2020-07-29T06:16:18+00:00

As soon as he says "hang out and video games" an hour away it should be a block and delete, don't give him ideas and reasons. When you did he gave an even lower value answer. You're just wasting your time, but it did show that he was low value. I think unless you've been talking for less than a day or he's looking for a lazy catch up, meeting early on isn't a bad thing (not during COVID though). Rather then getting invested and realise he's playing you after a few weeks.

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-29T07:56:49+00:00

[deleted]

purasangria · 2020-07-29T07:39:54+00:00

Just block and delete that idiot. No explanation necessary.

When men on OLD sites do or say anything that conveys that he doesn't think I'm a great catch, such as any stupid comment about my "worth," any requests that I come to him, I just delete and block. Not gonna explain to him so he can con another woman.

Pretend-Valuable · 2020-07-29T08:46:56+00:00

I personally preferred to meet up sooner rather than later, because any guy can be nice over messaging, I wanted to see if we got on in person. I'd say within 1-2 weeks is a good amount of time to meet up though, usually with a phone call and/or video chat beforehand.

I did once have a guy who asked me to go to his house and 'sleep over in the spare room' on the same day we started talking. He was trying to guilt me into it, saying things like "we're not 18 anymore... I just want to meet you...etc" MAJOR red flags, blocked and moved on.

Alma00019 · 2020-07-29T11:50:12+00:00

Does anyone else see it as a red flag when a man wants to meet you too soon on dating apps?

Huge red flag for me

I feel like it's the biggest indicator they're too eager to get something out of you, not to get to know you.

Yep.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand the rest of your post proves that initial assumption. Thank you for your TEd talk.

Your second paragraph is completely useless, girl. Why are you explaining yourself and justifying yourself for not wanting to be a free prostitute for some stranger??

2020-07-29T13:44:48+00:00

Obviously this guy's a clown.

But as for meeting up early being a red flag? I don't think so. Personally I like to meet sooner (within a week) rather than later. It's too easy to form a mental image of someone through texting and then meet them and they're nothing like you expect. And you just wasted weeks talking to them and getting to know them only to find out you don't vibe well, for whatever reason.

You could spend a month talking to a guy who you think is funny, sweet, and has his life together only to meet him and discover he eats like a caveman and won't look you or the servers in the eye.

I'm not bitter. 😒

nr2596 · 2020-07-29T06:24:58+00:00

I actually prefer when someone wants to meet up quickly because I like to get to know someone in person and I think texting is a poor substitution for that but it has to be an actual date. None of this “hanging out” nonsense

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-07-29T14:34:39+00:00

It usually means that he's desperate for anyone to hook up with or have a relationship with because he can't live with himself is he's alone. So you're just a placeholder.

loudest_gusset · 2020-07-29T12:11:22+00:00

I like meeting sooner than later so I know if I'm wasting mt time talking to him. I don't hang out though, I go on dates and it's always a dinner date. I always use the excuse I work early mornings to duck out soon if I need an out.

dbearrrrrr · 2020-07-29T10:40:52+00:00

I don’t think this is always true. I met up with a guy after talking for one day and he was a complete gentleman and didn’t try to pressure me at all. We didn’t have sex or do anything and he was super interested in hanging out again. I do think the “are you worth the drive” is a bit douchey, but that doesn’t 100% mean he’s expecting sex.

hellogoodbyeeeieii · 2020-07-29T12:17:06+00:00

Nah, I don’t like talking to strangers over text to to be honest I’d rather they asked me out VERY fast (within 4/5 messages) otherwise I completely lose interest.

I don’t even enjoy talking over IM with my actual friends so why would waste weeks going back and forth with someone who might just be looking to stoke their own ego?

Ask me out or gtfo of my messages. I’ll decide if I like you when I meet you IRL.

Title	The jig is up
Author	AstraeaElune
Upvotes	66
Comments	23
Date	July 29, 2020 4:16 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hztzap/the_jig_is_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-jig-is-up.718430 https://theredarchive.com/post/718430

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