Sounds like LVM logic: “Do the bare minimum”

gutsandgorey · 2021-01-19T18:47:44+00:00

Women's "good enough": takes care of the entire family by meeting their physical and emotional needs without driving herself crazy.

Men's "good enough": exists with penis

superderpina_ · 2021-01-19T18:47:25+00:00

to be fair, the concept was grossly misexplained in that post. „Good enough mother“ means a mother that reacts to the childs needs in an adequate way, not doing the bare minimum, wtf. This concept means the satisfaction of a child‘s needs should be in relation to a healthy (!!!) frustration, so the child can develop a sense of self. AGAIN, THIS CONCEPT WAS GROSSLY MISEXPLAINED HERE, IT IS NOT ABOUT DOING THE BARE MINIMUM!

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-01-19T18:53:44+00:00

FDS women don’t expect perfection, we expect respect. Respect for our time, autonomy, boundaries, loyalty, etc. Anyone trying to make it sound like expecting respect is unrealistic is a psychopath. There’s no such thing as a person’s respect for another person being “good enough”. It either exists or it doesn’t.

riseoftherice · 2021-01-19T18:58:02+00:00

I've read a book discussing his work a few years back, a very good read. Would love to have more psychology/ psychoanalysis related posts here.

Thing is, there's a reason it's about mothers. Mothers carry the blame for how a child will turn out. There's immense pressure to do everything perfectly so the child will be have a good childhood and grow to be an adjusted adult. Trying to achieve that perfection leads to unhealthy methods. Being okay with being imperfect allows the mother to be more present, confident and a better parent to a child.

The sentiment is valid in parental relationships. It is a realisation that needs to be internalised by perfectionists with performance anxiety. It's to lower unreasonable standards one places on themselves. It is not to lower standards you've set for others. It is not to allow subpar behaviour from people. It's not for dating.

Love how OP tried to legitimise accepting mediocrity (and let's face it, it's often plain abuse) by using a concept that was meant to support women.

CaktusJacklynn · 2021-01-19T20:41:43+00:00

While I do believe that the perfect is the enemy of the good, using finding the "perfect partner" as an indictment against women is gaslighting at its finest.

We don't say this when buying a car (I just bought a new car late last year). We never tell buyers that the car is "good enough" when the seatbelts don't work, the starter is questionable, the battery is iffy, and the brakes are trash.

You deserve everything you want from a partner, and you should never compromise in that area.

GoldandGlowing · 2021-01-19T21:16:27+00:00

There’s a difference between being preoccupied with perfection and striving for your personal best regardless of whatever flaws you may have. You just KNOW these scrotes don’t believe that though, and they’re using this extremely rudimentary analysis of the psychologist’s work to justify their own mediocrity instead of improving themselves as that’s too hard👎🏽

SamuelaTheThrifty · 2021-01-19T18:58:34+00:00

There’s a huge difference between not striving for perfection and doing the bare minimum. Perfectionism can be crippling.

WingLate · 2021-01-19T23:23:19+00:00

FDS addresses this to some degree, by educating women as to what the definition of “good enough” is (hint: not the bare minimum). Good enough has to be good after all. By choosing partners wisely, we can define “good enough” as what it should be: love, effort, respect, etc.

2021-01-20T01:29:25+00:00

That's a lot of words for "I refuse to self improve. Accept me as the worthless scrote I am"

Objective_Ad7771 · 2021-01-19T23:42:37+00:00

My partner is 100% perfect for me. I would say that objective perfection doesn't exist yet subjective perfection does. My ex on the other hand was "good enough" and the experience was rather unfulfilling in contrast with my current boyfriend.

SoftFortune64 · 2021-01-20T16:02:44+00:00

This isn't well explained. Has anyone seen bad Mom's? It's like the difference before and after the characters change. She actually becomes a better mom after because she stops worrying about things that don't matter, learns how to stand up for herself and say no and actually becomes a much better mom in the process. I think this may be close to it similar to what the other meant when they said good enough mom's.

Title	Sounds like LVM logic: “Do the bare minimum”
Author	anononymous11
Upvotes	78
Comments	20
Date	January 19, 2021 6:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l0pwte/sounds_like_lvm_logic_do_the_bare_minimum/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/sounds-like-lvm-logic-do-the-bare-minimum.727956 https://theredarchive.com/post/727956

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