Phew! It's a dumpster fire in the dating world

Porphyrogennetos · 2020-11-18T12:17:34+00:00

We have a societal problem. The behavior of women today results from the fact that men don't have a solidified position as the head of the household any more.

Women are challenging all that because of all the bullshit they get from TV, magazines and the internet.

It's one thing to challenge the status quo, but you've got to have a strategy. The problem here is that women don't have one. They're just being led around by media, allowing them to drive wedges into every personal relationship they have because women are easily manipulated into doing that.

Women want to eschew their own gender stereotypes, but expect men to live up to all of theirs, and more, and that is absolutely fucking retarded.

loneliness-inc · 2020-11-18T04:15:06+00:00

[deleted]

sensual_predditor · 2020-11-18T04:22:19+00:00

Well my quick and dirty take is that any woman who is truly wife material, doesn't need the ring.

Aldabruzzo · 2020-11-18T15:42:19+00:00

What do we tell our sons?

I can only tell you what I've told mine. And it depends a lot on how old they are. My son is 14. I've been spending a lot of time talking Red Pill to him. I've used the Red Pill Primer for Boys over at Ian Ironwood's place - he was a blogger in the manosphere but his site is dormant now. I've found it to be a good introduction for boys who are at least 12. I didn't have my son read it - I taught it to him like a one on one class last year. I will probably have him read it now.

I also have been teaching "dont get married". I know, I'm a married guy. I cannot in good conscience recommend marriage to anyone now. It's not a good deal for men, in any way, shape, manner or form. The risks are too high relative to the paltry rewards/benefits. Being married now is a constant exercise in risk management. If I were single now, there is no way I'd get married. Even if you find a woman who could make the deal more attractive, the risks are too great and do not justify the rewards. Any marriage you create has a 50% chance of failure, and if it fails, there's an 80% chance she will initiate the breakup of the marriage. When a marriage fails, the man will bear most of the burdens and pain, and will spend more money. So, no marriage, ever, for any reason.

Get started early teaching them Red Pill. Start with the fundamentals:

Boys and girls are different, girls are not special, girls are not "better" or "more moral" than boys, girls' wants and needs are NOT more important than yours, girls are not sugar and spice and everything nice, girls are human beings and can be just as crappy as anyone else.

Everybody lies. Including girls. Especially girls.

As a boy you are NOT required to give a girl anything, do anything for her, defer to her, give up anything for her, move out of her way, move things for her, lift heavy things for her, trust her, believe her, ask her for anything, or "respect" her any more than you'd "respect" anyone else, simply because you're a boy and she's a girl.

Spend time in the company of other boys and men.

Do a team sport. Doesn't matter if you're good at it. Pick one you like and stick with it.

Looks matter. Do all you can to improve your physical appearance. Get and stay in shape.

You need to find a life purpose and mission, and when you're young that's going to school, getting to know yourself, finding out your strengths and weaknesses, finding out what you like, and getting proficient at something or a few somethings. Getting people to like you is not a purpose or mission. Getting pussy is not a purpose or mission. Getting a girlfriend is not a purpose or mission.

No one likes "nice" guys. You get nothing by being "nice".

All women have a basic nature: Thinking with their emotions; running their thinking through their feelings, and hypergamy. All women are like that - all women including your mom, grandmas, sisters, aunts, and cousins, your teachers, the women you meet at church - ALL of them.

Hope that helps get you started.

hngyhngyhppo · 2020-11-18T04:19:08+00:00

You can lead a horse to water...

Your son's journey will be there own.

The best you can do is known your sons, what their preferences are and guide them to the proper mgtow youtuber/blogger.

Other than that why would they take an advice about something they percieve is far from your realm of lived experience.

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2020-11-18T12:54:14+00:00

Welcome to the sub /u/MrNeurotypical. I am glad you get some value from this sub. I have a few thoughts for you to consider:

The mods on this sub are most certainly not unanimous on every point. We ARE unanimous on a few things, but the main thing we rally around is the rules of the sub. That is the ONLY thing we really agree on 100%
The Red Pill has their take on life, and we have ours. So try not to paint us with that brush. Not because we think it is bad, but because it is not accurate. Spend enough time here and you will pick up on the "vibe"
MGTOW is one answer to the problems many here face. But some mods and community members are married, and some are single. Many have been divorced and this is where we landed to make sense of things.
This is a wholesome community no matter how you measure it - except perhaps language and tone. I have made some pretty raunchy posts here in the name of humor (or attempts anyway!). But rest assured we are not women haters. We are just angry, disturbed, or sad about what we see in the world. It is not very nice and it is getting worse.
Re "Counterpoints: The mods here have a separate forum for the vetting of ideas. I have had more than a few ideas shut down. And I respect my fellow mods for keeping the content crisp and focused on the theme of the sub. So for those counter points, they are offered - just not here in "Public". The feedback I have received from the men here has made my writing better - and it has helped me to remain focused on a particular point. I recommend you find such a group yourself.
Additionally, much of what is written here is one man's take on a particular dynamic or phenomenon. If you take only one or two stories as representative of anything, that would not make sense. If for example you were in a forum in which the top stories that week described humans defecating, and ten other posts discussing various forms of excrement, you might get a skewed impression of that forum. But students in medical school discuss such things regularly as a part of their overall training. They don't have time to be repulsed by this material. I am not equating what we do here as being anything like med school, but I hope you see that one or two or even twenty recent conversations can obscure the overall picture.
Re: "Mom is an exception" No, she is not. Please don't lie to your sons about this. It will harm them greatly as they get older. I will stop there, but I wrote a pretty lengthy piece on this a while ago regarding "The talk" with our sons and daughters. I will try to dig it up for you.

Finally, as men it is up to each of us to make our own way in the world - MGTOW, MRA, Single, Married, Dating, Serial Monogamy or whatever else helps us along. So too must each of us go through different stages of self-awareness. As I have gotten older I have changed my views on a number of things. The main reason for this is usually because I have noticed undeniable patterns. AWALT is one of those patterns. And once you see it AND experience it first hand, you come to the harsh conclusion that it is functionally true if not literally. Again, I have written on this before too.

You too will likely evolve in your thinking as well. You sound like a middle aged man, so you are well on your way.

I hope you'll stick around and take in the content here. I also hope you will find a sense of camaraderie here - perhaps even brotherhood if you're lucky.

In the meantime, let your thoughts simmer for a while. Get out there and date. And let us know when the lightbulb goes on for you.

Then get your ass back here and contribute meaningfully so we can serve the next generations of young me who are headed into the meat grinder. Perhaps we can save a few.

Together.

Ipride362 · 2020-11-18T13:37:44+00:00

You can still date, just do that with the understanding that women have always been crazy, but that our society encourages that childish stupidity.

Don’t ever be surprised. First off, saves you from getting angry. Second, confused them when it doesn’t get a rise out of you.

silly_birb · 2020-11-18T14:43:38+00:00

Relationships were always a trade, there is a sex market, a marriage market, scams, competitors and powerplays.

I would tell my hypothetical future son that love doesn't exist, it's just a deal and you will have to work your ass off to keep it up while youbhave no guarantee she will not ruin your life or cheat.

If a man wants to be really free he should avoid committing to a woman.

Dupreecity45 · 2020-11-18T18:29:17+00:00

I'm in my mid-40s and about to be divorced soon. For shits and giggles the other day I downloaded Bumble, loaded it with a fake profile, and looked through the pickings. I shit you not when I tell you I swiped through at least 50 profiles of women in my age range and didn't find one that hooked me. Quite a few of them are more attractive than my STBX but all I could see are the damaged bratty women like I'm trying to escape from. The kicker was I found one of my STBX's whore, alcoholic friends that's been on and off with some crazy dude for like 10 years.

Yeah, it's a world of shit out there and we're in it. I'm considering joining the clergy!

TLorrai · 2020-11-18T04:34:28+00:00

As a father there are a lot of important things to teach a young man. Many of which have nothing to do with women. I think if you give your sons the right tools to succeed in life IN GENERAL then they'll be better equipped to deal with women when they get there. A lot of boys learn on their own anyways when they get their hearts broken. Just make sure they have a nice safety net to fall back on so when they're ready they can get back on their feet. Maybe throw in some red pills here and there as you go. Maybe asked the guys over at Married Red Pill, but I don't know if sitting down and explaining the manosphere in specific is the right way to go. Who knows.

muff_marauder · 2020-11-18T08:38:09+00:00

You might think I don't have any skin in the game because I'm married but I have 2 boys so actually I do.

Wonderful perspective!

moorekom · 2020-11-18T18:07:37+00:00

Welcome. I would suggest going through the recommended reading list here, if you haven't already. Not all of it is gold, but most will bring you some value.

A lot of mods have already answered most of your questions, so I'll hold off on that part. Mgtow and trp are reactions to the incentives men are given. They are temporary and are subject to change. Tell them the truth and let them decide for themselves. I hope you will find camaraderie and stimulating conversations here.

BluepillProfessor · 2020-11-19T04:14:45+00:00

If you are looking for a way to combine Red Pill with a marriage then check out /r/marriedredpill

BigBoiBahmani · 2020-11-18T05:25:12+00:00

Read and lurk moar. Read Rollo and see Rule Zero on YouTube they give good advice.

Sorry but I cant divulge a 500 word paragraph right now. Read more. Here are some staple reads that I have saved and I recommend to understand things. This is all theory :-

Dude read these articles from Rollo Tomassi's website www dot therationalmale dot com

'How men love'

'How women love'

'Hypergamy doesn't care'

'War brides'

'Relational Equity'

'Light Switch effect'

'Alpha Widows'

'Medium is the message'

'Mental Point of origin'

And read 'Boundaries' article from Rian Stone here : www dot rianstone dot com/blog/vetting1

This will solve everything you need to know. Bookmark them and read them one by one. I have been here for long enough and this is a good way for understanding female nature and how to re-constitute your mindset and self for the best. Especially if you are young like me.

If you are in a marriage or LTR where you have kids or house together and want to sort through a dead marriage, or leave the marriage such that you can sustain/rebuild yourself in the best possible way; then read about Dread from Rian Stone and r / marriedredpill sidebar. Good luck. This is probably all you need. The crux of the woman red pill theory. Mental Point of origin, Boundary Enforcement, Game and PUA is practical stuff derived from the red pill theory. Understand and practice it in real world. And more than anything, don't be fat and LIFT.

P.S. Women are complements to life and I want healthy kids and that requires women, also I like women. MGTOW is a blackpill nihilist answer. Even if you want to go that route, at least go build yourself to a level that you are attractive to women and life in general, and have experienced them, at least spinning plates. Don't be a fat, basement dweller, Cheetos eating MGTOW guy. Tbh if your son has experienced spinning plates, I don't think he will consider going monk mode at least. Not marrying is personal choice.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-11-28T16:55:40+00:00

"What do we tell our sons?"

That is an interesting question with many answers. Some years ago, I discovered TRP. It took some time, lots of reading, and sifting through posts to finally find the core TRP principles and apply them. Once I had them and started putting them into practice my life changed exponentially for the better and continues to improve.

I give you the four core principles of TRP:

Self-Improvement - This is the foundation of everything. Every man can and should be focused on self-improvement throughout his life. Exercise, a sustainable healthy diet, hobbies, education, and finances are the cornerstones to building a strong and lasting personal empire. How each man chooses to engage in self-improvement is a matter of personal choice, ability, and desire. But, it should be his first priority. Never forget that women are born and men are MADE.

Maintain Frame - Stronger people will always try to harm and/or manipulate weak people. Women, however, are at a wholly different level. Since there are few if any consequences for women they will push you to the very limits of your emotional stability if you let them. If they do manage to break your frame the consequences can be disastrous and long-lasting if not permanent. A man who can remain calm and relaxed when the world around him is burning maintains control of the situation because he controls himself. When a woman throws a tantrum, saying and doing nothing can diffuse the situation faster than any other action. And, if the situation continues to escalate calmly walking away removes you from it altogether.

Abundance Mentality - This is one of the toughest concepts to learn and master for the average man, especially at a young age. Abundance Mentality does not mean manifesting endless amounts of pussy. Abundance means you have the proper frame of mind to leave a relationship/FWB/Hook up when it is no longer working. As men get older, better, and wiser and women get older, lose their looks, and attention tapers off men typically have more options available to them.

Outcome Independence - IMO, this is the most important TRP concept. Younger generations are growing up in a world of endless options and instant gratification. You can match, slide into DMs, post on social media of the women who catch your interest, just like the thousands of other guys who make up the white noise that shores up a woman's self-esteem. The problems start when men get rejected and/or ignored and start blowing up messages and saying things that are recorded forever. Always shoot your shot, but do it once and give it time to take effect. My general rule of thumb is this.. If I match/message a woman and do not hear from her in roughly 24 hours she is not answering and I'm moving on to someone else because there are millions of women out there and I am not going to waste my time trying to talk to someone who is not interested in me.

Good luck to you and your sons. If you want to discuss anything in more detail, just let me know.

Title	Phew! It's a dumpster fire in the dating world
Author	MrNeurotypical
Upvotes	53
Comments	93
Date	November 18, 2020 4:05 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre/comments/jw8tm8/phew_its_a_dumpster_fire_in_the_dating_world/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre/phew-its-a-dumpster-fire-in-the-dating-world.736576 https://theredarchive.com/post/736576

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